Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Nice song, and this time round, it really depicted my feelings. And i'm surprised, that somehow still knows how I feel so well. hmmm, o wells. ya, details? Maybe in private? hahaha
小丑魚
我在你身边游来游去
我不敢出声看着他亲吻你
眼不能闭
看你的唇印还在那里
你隔着玻璃所以听不见
我在叹息
说不出口的秘密
永远活在小小的世界里
仅存一点稀薄的氧气
是否够我继续撑下去
这件脱不下来的外衣
还是你喜欢的橘
我不能确定
是否你曾经注意
我的眼泪流在透明的水里
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海
等我转过身看你眼神
才知道自己想得太过天真
伤得太深
爱来的时候划破沉闷
我早该知道你终究不是我
该爱的人
黑暗中两眼无神
夜里不再为我开盏灯
始终不敢将爱说出口
当然没有资格去竞争
恋爱和失恋同时发生
怪自己枉费青春
我输得彻底把脸深埋在水里面
却还要演好这一场戏
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海
那片海眼看就要让我愈来愈远回不来
从此你的不愉快那么遥远谁听你埋怨
再说一遍说一遍 ya...
我在你身边给你一点点愉快就
会心甘情愿回到大海
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海那片海
::12:35 AM
Sunday, November 08, 2009
woah woah. Today was a very tiring day. Woke up then realised how pain my back, groin and thigh were. Nvm, since already promised to play bball. Just went to play. The pain in the legs were probably due to soccer yest. The nice goal i scored. hehe. The more i think about it, the more i thought, how the hell did i do it. Scoring from right side, so tight angle, clipped the top right hand post and went in. WOots! was that me? or was i possessed by some soccer spirit. HAHA. and that was probably when i overstretched my muscles. Cuz was running so hard just to get to the ball.
O wells, aniwaes, bball was fun. 3v2 i was always in the 3 ppl team. haha. Got melvin, yichao, ying cong and this 30+ guy who used to live in yew tee. HAHA. the uncle damn pro can. tall and skillful, i had no chance against him. hahaha. And after that, he was telling us about things in life. LOL. like the kind of pc talk we used to have during army days. And ya, he was a regular officer. =X ok la, then he was telling us how we should concentrate on our strengths. Know what you do best, and just concentrate on that. I did ok? haha, i know my strengths. My strength being able to utilise my short bursts of stamina when playing sports. Sudden acceleration. But thing is, my stamina doesn't last very long anymore. Last time all the training in army gone to waste. Now you ask me run 10km again, i will probably run 5, jog 3, walk 2. HAHA. Good thing about my short bursts of speed is that i can recover that stamina pretty fast. =D But i also realised how tiring it is to my legs ba. The reason behind my injuries. =X
ok, then he was telling us about his experiences in life. And it made me think about alot of things. What we want in life? hmmm, i wonder. And the second qsn he asked us. Have you ever thought of setting up a family? hmmm, i wonder. First question, what i want in life. O wells, i've always said that all i want to do is to satisfy my needs in life. But, that's not wad life is about. If i just do enuff to satisfy my needs, i'll never be able to achieve anything. We fight for our beliefs. We fight for what we want. Second question. Yes, i've thought about it. But it doesn't really matter now. Not yet. Its not a question that i should tie myself down with for now.
And one thing he said was so true. And its what i've been trying to do. That is, to think about what you want to do once u graduate while u still have free time in uni. Once you get out there, there's too little time for you to think about anything else. U'll be trapped in the vortex of work, competition and office politics. Be my own boss. I have my fate in my own hands. I'll do what I like to do. OK! so, i'll hafta think of some business ideas after the exams. XD
::6:56 PM
Friday, November 06, 2009
I seriously think its time to pick up the pace. Is one chapter per day enough? I seriously doubt so. Moreover, this one chapter per day thing is only grasping the concepts and not really practicing.
Enough of gaming, yuan ing. Leave those games till after EXAMS! hahaha, shit. But..winning eleven is so fun. Back to its best. At least for me, the challenge is there. The want to come back from behind to win. =) The computer is no longer letting in goals at like 10-0? Played one game today against barca 5-star level. Woots! damn fun. hahaha, they came back from 2-0 to 2-3 then managed to score 2 last min goals. =D and the players are so realistic!
SHIT! NO! no more games!!!hahaha, time to disconnect my ps3. After this weekend. HAHAHA
Life's been pretty good to me so far. Learning to look at things in an optimistic way. I really dun wanna go back to those emo days le. No, that's y, nvm. Details, in private.
HAHA. back to PLAY!
::11:53 PM
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
today, celebrated jansen's bday and jenny's. Felt really bad, when they did that to jenny! hahaha, though in the end she was very happy and surprised. But you could see how she was holding back her tears when we were celebrating for jansen ba. hahaha, nvm. Wad a great surprise it was for them! hahaha
o wells, then before that, met up with some guy. Talked a bit, realised some stuff, but nothing really changed. HAHA! nvm, details, in private.
then also went to jp before the surprise to get the cake. =.= LOL, and someone was so blurr. =.= can't believe how requiem can forget about asking where's bengawan solo is after getting the food. LOL! damn blur can? hahaha. And ya, its pretty exciting to plan surprises! =D hahaha
o wells, tml sit-in. SHIT! haven had time to do anything real productive. And i'm feeling kinda lazy now. Guess tml i'll do it in sch ba. Got the whole day afterall. HAHA
::11:41 PM
世界末日
词曲:周杰伦
想笑来伪装掉下的眼泪
点点头承认自己会怕黑
我只求能借一点的时间来陪
你却连同情都不给
想哭来试探自己麻痹了没
全世界好像只有我疲惫
无所谓反正难过就敷衍走一回
但愿绝望和无奈远走高飞
天灰灰会不会让我忘了你是谁
夜越黑梦违背难追难回味
我的世界将被摧毁也许事与愿违
累不累睡不睡单影无人相依偎
夜越黑梦违背有谁肯安慰
我的世界将被摧毁或许颓废也是一种美
this song always had a special meaning in my life, ever since the first time I hear it. Somehow, when I emo, this song will always start looping itself in my mind. Life might just come to a stop when all the studies end. Will suddenly haf nothing to occupy my life with, then i might go crazy ba. haha, but then, there's still gaming, i guess.
And i was trying to highlight the words that meant something, then somehow, almost the whole song applied to my life. HAHA. ok, this, is truly, a song that is significant to me ba. No matter where I go, it'll be a song that follow me, through my life's up and downs.
Kinda getting used to it, this kind of feeling. I'm just content with this state ba.
Though i'm kinda tired, but, somehow, there's something that makes me want to move on. Studies?Games?Music? The want to do something significant in my life. I guess, humans need a want in their life to keep them moving on. And i'm still human, after all. I'll die one day, but what I do in life is proof that i've lived before, and i'll make it significant. Make my life significant. That, I promise myself.
::12:54 AM
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Went to watch "This Is It" today with zhiwei. Damn cool show, especially if you're an MJ fan. As some parts of the show, you can just get emotional ba. Cuz you'll realise, this great performer won't be doing anything new, anything special anymore, cuz he's gone, forever. But still, his memories will stay with us, all the best of him, will remain, as the best thing that he can give to us.
One of the song actually touched my heart pretty much. Especially the comments MJ had on that song. He wants to see a better earth, he wants to heal the world, not "heal the world" though, guess the song. =) And his quote kinda reminded me of why I chose EE in the first place. "We can't keep telling others to do this and do that, to change the world, to make the environment better. We have to do it ourselves, we have to be the change, it has to start from us." Not really wad he said, but kinda captured the esssence ba. Why I chose EE? cuz i wanted to improve the state the world is in, through means of making energy conserving stuff and all. Maybe enviromental engineering would have been a better choice, but still, its EE that I feel I can use and apply to what I want to do in future.
Then after that, went home, went to sch again to study. Managed to clear 2 chaps of physics ba, I would consider it productive, though andrew and i were distracting each other with youtube vids. HAHA. and mangas. And for the first time, i bought a cai tau kueh from e3 block. Really oily niah, and guess wad!? its REALLY CHAO DA LA!!! chao da kueh niah. hahaha.
When you're not happy, you just have to find a different meaning in life to make you happy. I'm still trying to find that meaning in life. Even though I've decided to not put relationship problems as my priority, I can't really find something to replace that yet. Probably need some time ba. like jay chou wrote in his song, if there are dreams you can't achieve, just change a dream. But, I never dreamt in the first place.
I'll still be myself, caring for people that I cared for before in life. No matter the relationship, no matter what I get, its just me, myself, and my feelings. The number of people I care for just keep on increasing. =.= GG!
::12:19 AM
Thursday, October 29, 2009
For love, i threw away love. -quote from some book-
lol, slept like a log. =.= stayed up until 3 plus just to fall asleep before the match. DIAO~ then woke up for lunch, tried reading physics a bit, ended up sleeping until dinner. =.= HAHAHA, its easy to fall asleep when u dun drink coffee ba.
Some things are beyond comprehension. Some things, we can understand.
I underestimated my ability to lie to myself. Sometimes, you just need to lie to yourself to be happy. But, whatever you find thru lying will never be true happiness. That, I learnt the hard way.
I really dun like to think about the past. Thinking about the past, just makes me dream of them. And in those dreams, I always seem to find back hope and love. Only to wake up and find that, life is not as good as people say it is. I've lived long enough to know that it is alright to dream, but at the end of the day, if you do not do anything, you'll end up getting nothing. Life is cruel, that, i learnt the hard way.
Its not the recent events that have made me think this way. This has been my way of thinking since sec sch. I, always work towards my goals. Never believed in dreams, cuz they're not worth believing.
And for the last time, stop lying to me. Stop telling me how much my words matter to you, cuz obviously they don't. Yes, I still care for you cuz I treat you as a sister, but that's all to it. I always care for people that have been significant to me in my life, at any stage in my life, unless they've hurt me real badly, or they've done something real bad to make me hate them so bad. Whatever there was in the past, its all in the past already. Yes, we were sweet and all, but not anymore. So, stop lying to me that I still mean alot to you. If my kindness to you continues to make you misunderstand after these 2 years, do not make me do things that I really dun like to do. I know, you'll be reading this, that's why i'm putting it here, for you, TO SEE!
Lies, Deceit. The only thing that is true in this world, is myself.
::11:46 PM
