haiz

well..i tot it was good enuff..afterall..i didn't realli put in much effort in this bt1..or rather..not enuff time to study..as for econs..haven get back results yet..so oso not sure..but i guess wldn't be good aniwaes..my econs is at my maximum already..i noe it..no matter how much more i study for econs..it wldn't be any much betta..but i noe abt the other subjects..fmaths maths physics..didn't practice..juz studied notes..that's y got such lousy grades..OCC..yes..a long way from my AAA..but believe that if i practice..put in all i have..start practicing evryday for like 2-3 hrs..juz plain study for that 2-3 hrs..and shut myself off from tv and com and games one month b4 bt2..i'm sure i can get it..AAA..


overall..i wld say i have improved..compared to promos..i didn't put in as much effort as i didn in promos..so for physics..a C was pretty good enuff..as for maths C..quite disappointed tho..but kinda expected..no practice ya..fmaths..oso no practice..or shld i say only practiced for fmb part..and kinda neglected fma..haiz..muz balance out all these subjects..to be good in all..my target..AAA..not far away i wld say..


haiz..now the only obstacle is econs..wld i be able to drop it?

my randomness

my randomness is realli getting on my nerves..sign of aging?lol


..18 yrs old..im getting old..argh..


ns in 2 yrs..haiz..


followed my study plan today..not bad..can manage..haha..tml muz go GYM!!!haha..but dunno whether i shld go watch soccer after that..haha..c firz ba..


looked at time table again..looking at those econs lesson..imagine all of those lessons gone nxt wk..so much break..so much time to study..or wld i study?hmmm..that's tricky..but i guess i wld..muz put in more effort..triple A for bt2?k..mebbe ABB wld be good enuff..so i've decided to set as ABB for the time being..unless my progress shows better results from now till bt2..then perhaps..i wld change the target to AAA..but for now..it wld be ABB..haha..piahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

lol

my randomness is becoming damn random now..lol..juz that i wasn't online for the past one day..that's y didn't random here..haha..


had some strange dreams though..yest nite evryone in my dream were headless..except for me and her..dunno y..juz so strange..


even tho it was a strange dream..i stil dreamt of her again..haiz..33 days if i'm not wrong..wad's going on..haiz..


i'm tired..i wanna slp..i wanna drop econs..i wanna piah fmaths..i muz prove to evryone else in the world that i can get triple A..and i will get it..if i drop econs..so lemme drop econs laaaaaaaa...haiz..

the last random thought of the day

omigod..guess wad..another random thought..but i promise it'll be the last..


kinda had an interesting tok with 6thMarch on msn juz now..ya..i've gotten over her..but the talk was rather interesting..dunno y..but we suddenly went to the subject of cheating..and she jokingly said it's okay to cheat..but i told her..wad happens if u cheat ppl and end up the person does not trust u animore and leaves u in the end..(like wad happened 2 yrs back ya)..*i didn't say the part that's in brackets la..haha*..and i continued..but sometimes even when u are not cheating the person..and he/she misunderstands u..that is saddening..


mebbe she didn't get it..but i wasn't trying to imply anithing at all..so i guess it was alrite..but well..i nvr cheated her and i wld swear upon that..but nvm..gotten over means gotten over..move on with life..and find another difficulty ahead of me..NTUC!!!haiz..i will nvr cheat a gal that i like..nvr..or perhaps a white lie to make her happy..but nvr a lie taht wld make her sad..nvr..but to 6thMarch..i nvr told u a lie b4..not even a white lie..but does it matter now?no..wad matters now is..................


NTUC!!!argh..


headshot.. (X_X)

just another random thought

just another random thought *seems that i'm having lotsa random thoughts today*


was listening to the song..missing you..then the chorus part..the lyrics went..qing3 gei2 wo3 quan2 shi4 jie4 de4 ji4 mo4..then i actualli thought..qing3 gei2 wo3 quan2 shi4 jie4 de4 jie4 mo4..direct translation..pls gimme all the wasabi in the world..LOL..


not farni?kk..i'll try harder nxt time..


gd effort..

random thoughts

random thoughts..shld i get myself hurt again?


i sure have feelings for her..but shld i tell her?i guess i shld..even if it means hurting myself again..i still muz tell..better than to live with regrets for the rest of my life eh?

haha

haha..juz chanced upon this document on my com..its a chat log of 6thMarch with me..haha..it's still in my com..lol..cuz it's in my partition drive so it wasn't deleted when i reformat my com the last time..


i've always been wondering..y 2 ppl who liked each other so much can actualli break..the chat log..it was the kinda thing u c then u noe that we have feelings for each other de..more than frenz..and alot more than that..but..in the end..still broke up..not enuff trust?to the extent that she wld believe in rumours more than she believes me..but nvm..that's the past


haha..kinda msged a little bit today..but it's not gonna reach it's monthly limit of 700 aniwaes..so kinda waste..haha..msg mite help..but it all depends on destiny..life is destiny..yes u can change the way things go..but the end is alr destined..it's the procedure that u can change..well..that's not wad i think..hahaha..life is destined..with my own hands..it's the procedure that decides wad u will get in the end..so if u can change the procedure..u can change the end as well..it's all up to oneself to decide which road he/she wanna take..u can decide to mug and get good results or u can decide to slack and get okay results..for me..i decide to slack and mug..so i'll get good+okay=excellent results..LOL.


LAME

meaning

seriously i dunno wad to blog..that's y i haven been blogging for many days le..life has..lost it's meaning..


i'm juz waiting for things to happen..not wanting to do anithing at all..things come i do..that's all..


play games..play until i dunno wad i'm doing too..


study study study..wad's the freakin use of studying so much..


slp..that's the only thing i can find comfort in..cuz i'll drm abt her..


but when i look at my drms..i realised..i shldn't be happy at all..


wad's the use of drming so much abt her..in real life..i dun even dare tok to her..she come i shy away..unless she starts tokking to me..i wun realli go and tryta tok to her..i dun like to tok..u ask me crap..k..i still can crap..but seriously tok..i can't..things run thru my mind..alot of ideas..but my the time i've tot of wad exactly to say..another conversation might have alr started..if u ask me to sms or wad..k..it's okay..cuz i can have sufficient time to think of wad to say..but..the sms is dropping..didn't even msg her for like..erm 4 days i think..ever since wed i guess..cuz i juz didn't noe wad to say.


wad is the right timing..i ask myself..i dunno..i realli dunno..


tml last paper le..spa..after that..it's evryday go sch..evryday come home..evryday slp..rot..wait for co concert to come and go..haiz..sch life..argh..when did i started to dread sch life..haiz

juz when i tot evrything was over

well..juz when i tot evrything was over..no more replies from her wadsoeva..afterall..i msged at arnd 9pm..then at 2303..zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz..the phone vibrated..jolted awake from my slp..well..it's her..haha..then crapped a little..for 3 msges..and it stopped again..can't say i'm happy and oso can't say i 'm sad too..haha..dunno wad's wrong with me..


lol..i have 5 songs in my head now..lol..and i've written 3 of them down..but too lazy to put it onto my song blog..lol..kinda tweaked the template of this blog to suit the song blog..lol..go visit it if u want..lol..


haiz..bt coming up and i'm still thinking abt writing songs..mebbe i shld make it my profession..lol..fang1 wen2 shan1..lol

Cip camp

well..firz of all..the cip camp was fun..i guess..but certainly not too interactive..basically we juz interacted with the non-choir hci ppl..haha..


k..the camp..there were alot of ppl..but mostly HCI choir ppl. it was basically a choir chalet in the name of cip..haha..juz kiddin..and ya..some drop-out students..and 5 sajc ppl plus 4 non-choir hci gals..


it all started cuz marv dared caron to go invite the gals over to play cards for the nite for 2 dollars..and caron did it..haha..then at nite they came over..


basically i was mood swinging..muz be becuz of erhemx..so i was like..at a time active..then suddenly not active..but overall it was fun ba..playing silent heartattack and concentration..then we heard a knock on the door at arnd 3 i think..and we thot it was the facilitators..........


k..i shall continue..i go eat lunch..haha


k..continue..


and we switched off the lights immediately..while the gals went out of the room from the backdoor..the bbq pit side..and they actually hid outside the facilitator's rooms..cuz they didn't noe..and luckily the facilitators were aslp..haha..but it turned out that evryone else were awake except for the facilitators..and we went to play captain's ball later..


then..erm..stone lo..after i went back to the chalet..haha..then juz didn't noe wad to do..slept for like one hr..drmt of her..haiz...


but nvm..today was better..haha..at least for the firz time it wasn't n-1 sms for me..but for her..LOL

perhaps

perhaps..i juz can't stop..yea..i'll stop msging her..stop bothering her for the time being..but i'll not stop thinking abt her..yest told myself not to do anithing abt her..not to be bothered..but in the end..when i juz slept for a mere one hr this morning..i drmt of her..WAD CAN I DO!!!


haiz..wad can i do?


sounds like a david tao song..haha..

wtf

i'm juz getting more and more tired..so tired..i feel like slping..not for eternity..but juz awhile..rest from all these troubles..so that i'll not think too much..i noe there's nothing..but i stil think too much..i want her to noe how i feel..but i dunno howta tell..not daring to face wadeva will happen if i tell her..i'm juz a coward..

haizz

can't think of a way to start blogging so i'll jump straight into it..


this kinda of feeling..sux..so much uncertainties..yet i'm too serious abt it..nothing wrong to be serious..it's right to be serious..only when u are can u achieve things..but only when u are that u'll feel hurt when u dun achieve it..i've not realli done anithing yet..yet..i'm alr feeling like a loser..too much uncertainties..too sad..too demoralised..i realli dunno wad to do..


shld i ponn co tml?like i've said b4..i've not been pon-ing since the start of the yr..suddenly have the urge to ponn..ponn le go play lan or something..take a rest or something..haiz..dunno la..


did i make a wrong move?i'm done for i guess..at least i hope no one finds out who it truly is..or at least..no one will c who got it..and that i'll still be able to c her..we'll still talk..i'll still like her without her noeing it..and one day..perhaps..let her noe it when the time is rite..and..ya..u noe wad i want..


haiz..howwww???

hiakX

sian..i'm so sian..i tot it was pretty obvious le..but nvm..haha


juz came to realise i'm attending co practice evry time since the start of the yr..not like last yr..pon till bu4 qing1 bu4 chu3..haha..guess it's becuz i juz dun feel like going home so early ba..spend so much time to come to sch..then spend so much time to go back home..so mite as well stay longer in sch and do something lo..or mebbe there are other reasons..heckx..but now painting banner..quite fun..haha..


haiz..............SIAN-ness is filling up my life now..things start to taste bad..so even an oat bar tastes the same as abalone to me..so i'm into eating it now..lunch..haha..and dinner for today..lol..and realised my taste for sweetness is becoming so bad that i start to not like to eat sweet things..except for m&ms..cuz the choosing colour part makes the whole eating process fun..eating not for the taste but for the colour..lol..green and brown..all mine..lol..


kinda injured my thigh..was playing bball with rugby ball..then kelvin came knee-ing into my thigh..ouch..tot it was nothing..but juz now kinda limped back home..mebbe can't go gym or pe tml le..haiz..c firz ba..hope it gets better tml so i can go gym..haha..

hiakX

missing

haha..today morning..went to sch..juz felt something was missing..then after assembly at track..went back to caffe..hmmm..looking arnd..the feeling got stronger..then i knew it that something was realli missing arnd 9 plus approaching ten..haha


argh..mug mug

as promised

they say get a life..and yea..i'm trying my best to get a life now..haha


but firz of all..as promised..the song..yea..it's in han yu pin yin..cuz i can't type chinese..dammit..but nvm..haha..u'll most prob spend a long time trying to read it..provided u actualli read the lyrics..want to noe the real lyrics..juz come look for me..=D


san1 yue4 liu4 ri4


na4 nian2 wo3 men2 ting1 zhe4 shuo1 ai4 ni3
wo3 xiang3 zhe4 jiu4 shi4 zhen1 de4 ai4 qing2
ni3 shuo1 zhi3 xiang3 zuo4 pu3 tong1 peng2 you3
wo3 ye3 mei2 ban4 fa3 ke2 yi3 wan3 hui2


zai4 ci4 ting1 dao4 shou2 xi1 de4 xuan2 lv4
yan2 li3 yi3 jing1 fan4 qi3 le4 lei4 guang1
wo3 yi3 di4 er4 ci4 ai4 shang4 le4 ni3
zhi2 xiang3 tan2 tan2 yi4 duan4 jian3 dan1 ai4


chorus:
san1 yue4 liu4 ri4 wo3 men2 xiang1 ai4 de4 na4 yi4 tian1
si4 yue4 shi2 qi1 wo3 men2 fen1 shou3 na4 yi4 tian1
guo4 le4 liang3 nian2 wo3 hai2 xiang3 zhe4 ni3 de4 xiao4 lian3
shi4 bu2 shi4 wo3 zhen1 de4 yi3 jing1 ai4 shang4 ni3


wo3 yi2 wei2 wo3 yi3 jing1 ke2 yi3 wang4 ji4 ni3
hou4 zhi1 hou4 jue2 ni3 yi3 ke4 zai4 wo3 xing1 li3
wo3 xiang3 wo3 yi3 bu4 ke3 neng2 gou4 wang4 ji4 ni3
wo3 zhi3 neng2 shuo1 wo3 zhen1 de4 yi3 jing1 ai4 shang4 ni3


na4 nian2 wo3 men2 ting1 zhe4 shuo1 ai4 ni3
wo3 xiang3 zhe4 jiu4 shi4 zhen1 de4 ai4 qing2
ni3 shuo1 zhi3 xiang3 zuo4 pu3 tong1 peng2 you3
wo3 ye3 mei2 ban4 fa3 ke2 yi3 wan3 hui2


kai1 xing1 na4 shi4 yao2 yuan3 de4 shi4 qing2
xian4 zai4 shang1 xing1 cun2 zai4 wo3 xing1 li3
zhi2 you3 ni3 neng2 zai4 rang4 wo3 huan1 xiao4
ke3 shi4 ni3 shi4 fou3 hai2 zai4 ai4 wo3


Written by fallen reason ©2006. fallen reason is a registered trademark in the name of Chow Yuan Ing. Protected by copyright laws.


ya..that's all..seems meaningless since i somehow gotten over it..but new song coming up..most prob after block test..haha..

17 years

17 years have passed..made decisions..regretted many..most i wld say..so i've learnt to live on..this mite be a wrong decision..but..i'll move on..either way..there is no light i guess..but i've decided to go to ntuc..much better than doing things on 6thMarch..at least that's wad i think..


ntuc got so many things..food..drinks..lol..


crap..most of u wld think..haha..juz to me and myself..=P

tired

getting more and more tired..


there's realli nothing for me to be sad abt..juz that i am not happy..and i'm tired..

hiakx

wad's wrong manz..feeling tired..and bad mood all of a sudden..something's wrong with me..guess i'm thinking too much..


have confidence..they say..yes i have..but i'm juz simply pessimistic..when i think something's bad gonna happen..it always happen but when i think something's good gonna happen..it will not..haiz..

haiz

when i was asked..why i liked her all of a sudden..i was dumbfounded..but i noe it's not a sudden decision..juz that i dunno why i like her..once again..liking someone needs no reason..and it's the same this time round..


i dun dare..to tok..like always..when i like someone..shy away..yea..

i can't be wrong

k..today is the freakin fifth day that i've drmt abt her..dozed off for a while..and guess wad..omigod..it's her again..haiz..hiakX..guess i'm into it le..firz day sunday whole day i didn't think of her la..i mean..i dun think of her that much..then suddenly started drming abt her..wad the..then i started thinking abt her evryday..the more i think the more i like..argh..haiz..dunnooo la..haihaiz..


and mok is so freakin smart..argh..


ya..so today..was supposed to go buy cloth for banner la..but lucy pang seh us..or shld i say we pang seh lucy..haha..cuz mok and i same time pe ma..then we play soccer together..s14 vs s21 la..then play play play..until 4.15 le..we still playing..then haha..then we played till like 4.30 i think..then when i go check my hp..haha..lucy left without us le..so i dunno whether it's we pang seh her or she pang seh us..but nvm..so mok and i go gym lo..then damn tired..haha..after that went to eat prawn mee at the hawker centre at macpherson..lol..and when going home..singing songs on the bus..from new songs to damn old songs..sing until my throat got a little bit sore le..haha..but nvm..rest a day..tml wake up you4 shi4 yi4 tiao2 hao3 han4 liaoz..haha


later i drm abt her again..then oops..haha..die le la.....LOL

nvr coming

well..i guess 6thMarch is nvr coming..nuthing's realli gonna happen on that day..guess i'll juz post the song on my blog..i've decided not to do anithing abt her le..forgetting..cuz i realli can't remember her face animore..mebbe it's juz a sudden fluctuation of my feelings to make me think that i still have feelings for her..but mebbe it's realli that i still have feelings for her..but i dun wanna noe..cuz noeing it mite juz hurt me even more..to noe that i still have feelings for her after 2 years..but deep down inside me..i noe..nuthing's realli gonna happen even if i tell her..it's not gonna make her change her mind..not gonna make it become like wad it was 2 yrs back..so yea..no more 6thMarch..forgotten..forgiven..


hmmmz..mebbe this thot came becuz of dreams that i have been having..i kept dreaming abt the same gal who i nvr wanted to dream of and nvr expected..cuz i noe if i dream abt her..it means i realli have feelings for her alr..yea..i tot she was a nice gal since the firz time i saw her..but..i tot that i wldn't like her..but yea..for once..i thot i liked her..but i immediately broke the thot when another fren had feelings for her too..so yea..nvm..but now..she keeps on appearing in my dreams..evryday..evrynite..even when i dozed off on the bus juz now..i drmt of her again..so that's y i noe i like this gal alr..and decided not to cheat myself animore..to accept the fact that i like this gal..and not 6thMarch..and juz becuz i started to dream abt her..i wld always keep a lookout for her in the morning and wld feel happy when i actualli c her..she's not chio..but i juz have feelings for her..haiz..tell me why..argh..