changes

i've decided to make even more changes to my life..haha

exercise more..even when book out still go run a bit..dun slack at home.

dun use too much vulgarity..alrite..hopefully none at all..

eat less, cuz i realise evrytime i bookout..i eat alot and by the time book in..my wt bounce back up..end up do so many chin-ups training oso no use..cuz the str increase but the wt oso increase..end up, not enuff str to pull my own wt up..

oso..muz start saving money..for ps3 and games..altho the 1 time gd one 600 by june can help me with the ps3..and i'm not spending alot of money nowadays..but after course, sure got alot of chances to spend money de..so muz lax a bit..

lastly, muz hang out more with my frens..find chance to go out with them..dun be so lazy as to not to go out with frens cuz i juz wanna slp the whole day at home..

oya..i said i wanted to slp early on wkends, but can't seem to do so..the nite is juz too fun for me to slp..esp now got s.h.e on channel u on sat nights..awww..

zz..howta train SBJ..someone teach me!!!

changes

i believe ns life has changed me..made me so busy that i dun think so much abt the past, except when i book out and when i slp..

changed me mentally..made me prepared for anithing, any punishment, the ability to take it and leave it..i'm glad

changed me physically..now i'm able to run 8km non-stop..kinda proud of myself..yest 8km run ran with shu han..haiz..found running buddy le..but in the end, he has to leave for EOD driver..awww..nvm..i'll cont to run myself..10km coming in 2 wks..but i'll juz run for it..now i juz love to run..=P

i'm juz a happy man now..happy to be alive, happy to be single..

i'll live life to the fullest..

wad's with me?

hmm..somehow, i juz find it nice to look back at old blogposts..feel happy a little, for awhile, thinking abt the past..then suddenly sadness sets in, cuz u realise the happiness ain't there..but after another some while, u completely forget abt it..

i'm not sad..juz kinda void..an emptiness, which is buried deep in my heart..i'll not forget, but i'll move on..

new sights in life, looking forward, no past but future..

life restarts

o..i think i've pressed the reset button..mebbe i'm starting to like life again?or izzit juz hibernation of my sadness..who noes..but now..let it be..but seriously..i still dun wanna book IN!!!argh..monday gonna be so shiong and so does wednesday..gg..hopefully can last thru it..and by then..4 WKS GONE LE..hahaha..juz get this over and done with then get my one time gd one $600 on 8thJune..hopefully..haha..then can buy PS3 le..hopefully by then, the price will drop a little..firz game to buy will be gundam musou and then sonic..haha..i'm childish..wadeva, but i like sonic..haha..my inner childhood is kinda takin over..

haf been starting to think more abt future, and having plans abt an online game, which i hope i can make by the time i come out of uni..the idea is there and the basic stuff are kinda decided le..juz get some partners and hopefully can start it off..muz get those who studied game design..haha..make more frens in ns..that's wad my sirs said..these 2 yrs, no matter how tough it is, u'll still haf ur frens by ur side..

let love come and go,
like a wind that blows my soul,
let it be,
let it be gone,
let it fly,
let it down.

lol?new song coming up?but i dun like writing eng songs le..like so many eng songs le..which i dun rly like them, that's y didn't post on blog..haha..can actualli compile 2 albums for all the songs i've written le..gd old memories, in the form of songs..hopefully when i grow old and look back at these songs i've written, i can rmm all abt my sadness and happiness..

what will come will come,
what isn't yours is not yours,
let it be gone,
let it be done,
what you wish,
may not be yours.

good game, good day, good night and i shall go slp..=P

wahaha..3 wks gone

3 wks gone..but the songs are getting boring..perhaps we shld start new songs? shall nt tok much abt unit life..juz training lol..hahax

i'm kinda feeling bored..wanna slp liaoz..so shall blog tml..enjoy the new song..if it's sucessfully loaded up on this blog

haha

o, tell me why

this is seriously another one of those nights i sit by the com, havin nothing to do and browsing thru tons of blog posts..

coming to conclusions, and alot of them..y isn't it me?it cld haf been me..i did my best, to stay, to make her stay..but the worst has happened..i tried my best..i did try to hold on, but it felt kinda slippery, and i was juz tired..too tired to hang on to that 0.001% chance of her coming back..now, i believe, this 0.001% has somehow dropped to 0.000000001% or even less..cuz i noe, there is someone better out there that she so wants to be with..and i wish her best, at the expense of my heart..somehow, my heart is still with her..but she has forgotten where she put it, and she refuses to return it to me..ridiculous, even after 3 yrs..i still can't find a right place for my heart..finding so many girls, trying to noe more ppl..and eventually, wad i get is void, plain emptiness..failure, sadness, grief..all filling me at once, overwhelming me..fallen, driven to the extent of giving up on evrything..this pain, no one can cure, no one can sense, no one can feel the same..this loneliness..loneliness of an 18 yr old, trying so hard to find a true love, yet he can't..

this is but a story, a sad one, one which i hoped the main character isn't me, but it happened to be dearest me..

i wish, to stay, to learn, to experience, to care, to share, to cry, to laugh, to love..

it was taken away, and not being given back..i am emo now, and i do not intend to return to my usual self, until the day breaks..i'll juz sit infront of this com, looking back at all those memories that left me alone..hui2 dao4 guo4 qu4, to the time where i dared to tell u i love u..

booking in, for more pushups..i hope it wun hit 1000..although this wk it's i myself who did 200+ more on fri to make it 1000..but i guess it's gonna be good for my body..and this 3 days i hope i haf fully rested, physically, but not mentally..but i'm prepared to accept the challenges ahead in my life, not in my past, but the present and the future..

i'll try my best to stop looking into the past and look forward..i promise myself..

hmm

愛上一個人的7個預兆　　
1.當你正在忙時,卻把手機開著,等著她/他的短信..你已經愛上她/他了
2.如果你喜歡和她/他兩個人單獨漫步..你已經愛上她/他了
3.當你和她/他在一起時,你會假裝不注意她/他,但是當她/他離開你的視線時,你會急著尋找她/他..你已經愛上她/他了
4.當她/他受傷或生病時,你會很關心她/他,替她/他著急..你已經愛上她/他了
5.當她/他和別人要好時,你會感到吃不知其味..你已經愛上她/他了
6.當你看到她/他那甜美的笑時,你的嘴角會揚起一絲得意的笑..你已經愛上她/他了
7.當你看到這篇文章時,心裏想到某個人,你已經愛上她/他了......
saw this somewhere on some china website..

somehow, all i can think abt is her, o wtf..cblj, i thot i wldn't think abt her le, but somehow, memories juz came pouring in..but i noe it, i juz can't forget..ok, it's juz memories, it's not the present..haiz..if this applies to me and her 3 yrs ago, we wld certainly fit in to al these 7 signs..but not now..i bet it applies to her and someone else right now..so wadeva

booking in tonite, ok..cheer up dudex..ur guys, the buddies u're gonna live with for the nxt 1yr6mths are in there..haha..do my best, get the badge, forget abt her and find a new her..stay happy, my fren..

perhaps, this is true love, cuz wad i want for her now is for her to be happy, hoping that she wld end up with the person she reali likes, and it's not me..

a lonely night

i've nvr felt so alone b4..or mebbe i did, but somehow, the loneliness juz feels me tonite..i juz dun feel like slping at all..mebbe things didn't happened the way i wanted it to be, but i noe it's too late, yet i juz can't help but feel lonely..

am i that helpless?when it comes to love, i juz get easily shot down, falling non-stop..somehow i was on the cliff again..dropping, dropping, falling and falling..picked up again, i thot so, but somehow the rope was cut, and i continue to fall..

alrite, enuff of the emo..

life in 39SCE is so far so good..bravo coy, the more shiong coy in 39SCE as compared to alpha coy, according to our oc..alrite la, i dun mind..the commanders are so far nice to us..or mebbe cuz it's the firz wk?i wonder wad'll happen when we book in tml..things will change, and we shall plunge into hell, or mebbe not?who noes, but we'll c..the chin-up regime is definitely more shiong than that in mohawk..my senior still told me the training not as tough as that in mohawk, but i guess mohawk wasn't shiong enuff..haha..nvm..ippt silver in 9 more wks..can i make it?who noes, but i will try my best in order to put on the badge..elite of the engineers..lol..

somehow, i guess the one she's tokking in her blog is him, the one who balls so well..a gd fren of mine, whom i didn't see for many yrs to go..distance has drawn us apart, somehow i juz dunno howta kip my frens close to me..lack of social skills?perhaps..or mebbe i'm juz too lazy to go out and hang out with my frens..am i?ok, i guess i am..but tt's juz me, anti-social me..tt's the real me, nt the one that's tokking crap all day..when i'm alone, it's me..when i'm talking crap, it's not..i'm juz a lone ranger..and tt's the way i like it to be..i noe it's not gd for me, yet i'm comfortable with it..in my own world, as myself..ok, fine..i seriously hope he wun let her down, cuz it seems that, she dunno whether she shld tell him or not..mebbe i can encourage her a bit..who noes..