dammit

dammit..wad the hell is this....u wanna go where go aniwhere u want..i dun gif a fark..but dun do this kinda thing..dammit..i juz feel like scolding fark..o..i scolded it above..


i dun realli gif a damn alr..it's me to scold vulgarities..juz me to do these kinda of things..so fark it..i'm realli farked off by u for now..dammit


no matter wad i do..i guess it doesn't realli make any diff now..so y do i gif a fark..no i dun gif a fark..I SHALL NOT GIF A FARK..


i dun c wad i can do..only gif up..that's the only way i can find light..cuz i noe there's someone at the other end waiting..and i shldn't let her down..


this is wad happens when u noe u've got something to fall back on..u can think of giving up very easily..but wtf..will i realli do it?that's another qsn..


at least try b4 giving up..that's wad i told myself..but things are contradicting..sometimes i wld juz think of giving up..but i wld think of wad if i regret in future..but wld i?wadeva..


and i dun wanna go back to last time yet..not yet..in case u think i'm treating u as a substitute..whihc i dun want to..

u juz dun wanna tok to me eh?wadeva..i'm kinda used to it alr..somehow..i knew this wld happen..that u wld choose not to reply me..but wad's this hole in my heart..this emptiness..this feeling of wanting to cry out loud..shout ur name..argh..wad's this..keep on drinking water..trying to fill up this hole..but it's still empty..wad's wrong with u..wad's wrong with me?


time to gif up?


yes..shld be ba..no hopes at all..i realli can't stand it animore..6wks le la..who can stand it i ask u..well..perhaps others can stand it..but for me..i realli can't..6wks is realli too overboard le..i oso dunno wad i've done to make u do this to me..i nvr understand y gals do certain things..and i'm not bothered to find out..it's beyond my comprehension..thinking abt it will juz waste my time..when i can actualli spend my time on studies..i realli wanna study..so..


gif up ba..NO?


argh..wad's wrong..y can't i gif up..argh..dammit..f u yuan ing

o..wad!?

hmmmz..wad's wrong manz..how come i decided to alight at nj..i oso dunno..juz go c how things are going on ba..


3 more days..will i tell her?haiz..

wtF!!!

KAOZ!!!some ppl only noe howta cry..am i being too harsh or wad huh?argh..i kenna dao for one month plus u oso din c me cry..i only tok to u less u cry..kaoz..wad u thinking la..i care 4 u..but not like b4..we are not like b4 animore..mebbe we can be like b4..but now..sorry..no..perhaps if we can return to the past, u wun be that sad..i guess u have regretted doing wad u've done.but this is all part and parcel in our life..we live to regret..but that's where we learn..hmmmz..i can tell that to others but not myself..


but aniwaes..if u think u wun regret holding on to me..then so be it..i hope i can gif u the happiness u want..but who wld gimme the happiness i need..mebbe if i gif u the happiness u want..then i wld be happy oso..but..i noe it wld be happier if i can get the love of a gal i truly like..i juz treat u as a sister..not someone i like..thanx for all u've done for me in the past..but ppl needta grow up..stop crying..be strong..i'm ur kor..not ur dear..


argh..wadeva..dunno wad i'm doing..liking someone so much to an extent that i dun care abt others le..haiz..i guess i'm too harsh to her ya..haiz..arghh..wad to do?can there be 2 me(s)?lol..then i can gif her the happiness she wants and find my own happiness as well..i noe..we were happy b4..but u think we wld be as happy as b4 if we get back together?it wld take a long time to get back to where we were..so i dun wanna try..given the fact that u can actualli break anitime again..so sorry..but u're juz making me more confused now..let this matter cool down firz pls?we shld tok things out in a peaceful manner..dun always call and start crying..


hmmm..today..aiya..dunno la..i wldn't say it's a good day..dunno y..juz dun feel happy..but not sad at all!lol..wad is this..confusion..haiz..pika pika???LOL

i juz can't stand things liddat

argh..one thing i can't stand abt u is that u do things differently from wad u say..u were the one that said, "perhaps i shld tok to u less now, so that my feelings for u wld fade away." but guess wad..once again..u didn't do wad u say..i tot u realli wanna tok to me less le..so today didn't receive any msg from u i oso dun feel wierd..even if u didn't say that, i wldn't feel wierd tho..but u juz called again and told me sorry that u didn't tok to me the whole day cuz u didn't bring ur phone!?argh..kaoz la..pls..if u realli wanna let the feelings fade away..do so..dun ill-treat urself..i noe it's hard..but it's right for u to do so..if u realli wanna wait for me..it wld be a long wait..and i dun want u to do so..and i'm going into ns nxt yr le la..with ur over-dependent character, u think u can survive 2 yrs without me?i suppose it wun last..if u realli wanna wait for me..by then, u muz show me ur determination..i mite hurt u u noe..and i dun wanna do that..dun u think we juz remain as bro-sis frenship better than becoming a couple?i oso dun want to lose this frenship..so y not let it stay as frenz..good for u..good for me..wld u rather lose a fren+relationship or juz lose a relationship..the choice is urs..juz let go pls..if ur heart realli hurts..juz choose to let go..dun become like me..cuz i can't let go..that's y i became so pessimistic abt life..i dun want u to lead a sad life like me..i want u to be happy..


but i noe u still wun read this..i guess i have to tell u personally..and u wld most prob cry again..but..argh..y waste ur tears on me..am i realli that worthy of ur love?


and i dun get a shit of wad's exactly happening now..this dao-ing continues..i realli can't stand it..one side..one gal is dao-ing me like hell..the other side..another gal is tokking to me so much..argh..WAD THE SHIT IS THIS!?


argh..bt2 coming..set high goals for myself..but are they achievable?that depends on how much hard work i put in..hope i wun end up sitting in front of the com and playing games..tsk

y?

i asked her..y are u treating me so good?


she replied..cuz i like doing that..


wad's going thru her mind manz..i realli dun understand gals..


the better she treat me..the more guilt i feel..she's not expecting anithing..she's juz plainly treating me good..am i actualli letting her down?she's not smiling..i guess she's sad..well who wldn't be..if it was me..i wld be sad too..


if..argh..nvm

seriously

stop it pls..the more u care for me..the more i feel sorry..seems like true love to me..even tho it's one-sided..izzit that if i'm happy u wld be happy?dilema..


one side, a girl i like dao me..the other side..a gal i liked b4 still likes me..haiz..


wad is this..her sorrows i noe..i understand..cuz i'm oso feeling the same way..liking a person who does not like her..but her perseverance..i dun get it..if u were the one who wanted to break..y didn't u give it a clean break..or did u do it juz becuz u dun want me to love the wrong person..i realli dun understand..


but aniwaes..she's realli still not replying my email..i oso dunno wad to do..sms dao..email oso dao..nuthing to say liaoz..