For granted?

What did you take me for? Something to fall back on? I'm not a cushion, I have my own things to worry about. You took me for granted, when we were together. I shouldn't even have cared after all the stuff that had happened in the past. Why, why do I even care?

This is not the first time, but I hope it'll be the last. I just dun wanna care anymore. If this is how you look at our friendship, then so be it. But i'm not a cushion. I'm not your safety bit. You will walk your own path. I will walk my own path. Even if we do cross each other's path, I will not care anymore. You have lost your place in my heart. You do not deserve anything from me and I do not need anything from you.

Ok, i'm still pissed, but on a side note, had a great time at pizza hut today. woosh!

Damn full now. 4 slices of pizza - 2 slices of hawaiin stuffed crust and 2 slices of trio cheese stuffed crust. Though the service kinda pissed us off. We waited for like half an hour for the pizza. Eugene had already finished his pasta. So luke called the manager, and complained. HAHAHA. Then guess what, 6 time winglets came, for 8 ppl. -_-. Nvm, dun wanna eat winglets so didn't take. hahaha. Then came the pizza, a whooping 2 time regular stuffed crust pizza for me, yunxiao and luke to share. We only ordered one hawaiin stuffed crust and one trio cheese thin crust. But they gave 2 stuffed crust. They noe they gave the wrong stuff so they charged the trio cheese at the price of thin crust only. HAHA. But the trio cheese was like super cheesy? trio cheese plus stuffed crust. hahaha. so now super full. Wanted to play lan, but like a bit late, so just bye bye, whole lot go home.

Give me 10 good reasons why i shouldn't be pissed, then i would probably forgive you. The question to your answer, is still a NO. A BIG FAT N aND A BIG FAT O! N. O. NO! got it? Those tears, save it for yourself, i'll not sympathise with you, anymore. You've lost your place.

One Winged Angel by The Black Mages

My favourite youtube vid, currently. hahahas. One winged angel by The Black Mages. NOBUO UEMATSU! and seph appears at 1:03!!!

Didn't really wanna post this since i'm afraid of misunderstandings. but o wells, just thought these lyrics were nice. Wanted to make an english version or chinese version out of it though. haha. I probably expect some chinese or english guy/girl to come out and change the lyrics and make a hit out of it.

Now, i'm more than sure, that you are the only one that I want.

ok, so today studied a bit here and there, haha. Finished maths and gem le. 3 more mods to study for. And also, played pes2010 demo on ps3. FUN! so realistic! i like the tatics slider too. Makes gameplay different. Different teams now actually can have a different dimension to their play. OK! I should stop distracting myself with games and mangas. ooo..GT prologue looks fun. ZZZ. hahaha. enough of games ba. Tml night still needta go out, so hopefully can spend some time in the afternoon to study. Shall sleep earlier tonight, hopefully can wake up early enuff to go for a run, too long since i've last went for a run. hopefully can do a 5km. =D

No one Else by Yuna Ito

When you touch me, I feel lonely
その優しさに...戸惑ってるの
When you hold me, I’m the only one
信じていいの？ We love each other
永遠を

For me, love is like light and shade
光と影に揺れている
To be in my heart night and day, I know
夜宙の月が満ち欠けるように

No one else can take your place
あなたしか知らない
私になれる場所へ
Only I can be the one for you
No one else
誰にも代われない
たったひとり、になることで
輝けるから

For love, don’t be afraid, say you’re mine
振り向いて立ち止まらずに
Believe and love me, one more time, I know
この瞬間を逃さないように

No one else can take your plac
eあなたしか見えない
この想いはゆずれない
Only I can be the one for you
No one else
魅かれあう強さが
自分自身を越えた時
生まれ変われる

Day by day, one by one
いとしさのカケラを守り続けたら
恋は、愛に変わる

No one else can take your place
愛は、命になり
永遠という名の時を繋いでゆく
No one else
目に見えない絆がある、と
信じあえることで
強くなるから

Taking it away from you

O mans, and so i got myself into some distractions again. So, my love for Seph nvr faded even after so many months since killing him at the life stream in ff7. hahaha. Went to look up on all the quotes that he has said before in the movie & the games. His quotes really do show his arrogance as a man with such incredible powers. Such sinister words, yet when they come out of him, it just shows his innocence. His inevitable path to evilness, he was born to do it.

O wells, so i was thinking, maybe string up all his quotes to make a new song. hahaha.

And i was thinking, my song #11 Special, hmmm. probably need some tweaks in the lyrics, or maybe i jus needta write a new song. I dunno why, but it seems to me that the words i say, the way i behave makes ppl think that i'm still in love with someone from my past. Yes, I do care, but that's all to it. Just showing concern, not love.

All those stuff i've said, the 2 songs i've written, #9 & #11 were meant to be written to a special someone. A certain person, that means alot to me right now. But, somehow, just somehow, she made an impression in my otherwise boring life. I hope i'll not be too late when the time comes for me to be ready to tell her how much she means to me.

For now, i'm just satisfied at the rate of progress of our frenship.

BAH~ back to studying!!! Seph and SS, stop coming to haunt me. hahaha.

woots

Hahas. At least there is some progress in my work? I dunno leh. zzz. I'm done with my GEM. The past year mid-term tests all seem pretty easy. Heavily tested on the reasoning chapter, which is one of my stronger chapter in GEM. *since i'm the reason. ;)* Afterall, GEM is only testing on tuts 1-3, which seem ok to me. =D. OPEN BOOK ROCKS!

but everything seems to slow down too fast. Distractions from far too many places. First of all, woke up to see that DMC new chapters have been released, spent about 1 hour reading up the 8 chapters worth of DMC. Cheered me up abit, its always funny to see negishi regretting over his actions as krauser. Krauser's really funny when he tries to do good stuff. hahas.

After that did gem revision lo. since it was the first test.

Last night alr saw the PES2010 demo on PC alr. dl-ed this morning, just installed. Ready to play. There's still batman demo on my ps3. zzz. I really dun wanna play leh. argh.

Then the more i listen to satsugai and grotesque, I keep thinking that wow, the riff is amazingly compact, the guitar solos are amazingly good. So I went to look at drum tabs and guitar tabs on satsugai. Oh my, the drum tabs. -_-. VERY HARD!!! But i took out my drum sticks and started playing. hahaha. Imagine if i really get my hands on a guitar hero/rock band set. I would be really distracted ba. Luckily i'm turned off by the guitar tabs, and glad that I do not know how to play guitar. Else, it'll just be another distraction. Though i would love to learn to play the guitar. hahaha.

Then I saw the flame of recca lying somewhere around my bedroom, picked it up. The last book. ARGH~ and so begins my next distraction, reading Flame of Recca from the last book till the first book. zzz. I should kick my habit of reading mangas again and again.

Somemore, last night while waiting for liverpool match to start, I thought of some lyrics to write for this song i wanna write. The title is "Tears of the Devil". Well, maybe of my emo-ness last night, that's y the tears. As for the devil, probably because of listening to dmc's songs. hahaha.

These many distractions and its alr wednesday. At least i'm done studying for one module. hahahas.

@Geraldine: hahas. wad's ur blog siah?

Some of the quotes that i've found interesting:
1)In the end, its not the years in your life that counts, its the life in your years.
2)Do not let what you cannot control trouble you.
3)*old one but still works* Always look on the bright side of life. =D

sadness reigns

I dunno why, the more i look at the situation right now, everything's just not going to turn out as i wanted it to be. I guess, I really got the wrong timing. Do I regret anything, wells, I was once a man of many regrets. But not anymore, I told myself, whatever I do, not to regret anymore. Just a sense of emptiness, a feeling of what could have been. You know, the kind of feeling where everything wells up, the tears dun come out from your eyes, rather, the feelings from the heart just wells up and accumulates at your throat, makes you wanna shout out real loud.

I had many ways to let out my feelings in the past, not anymore. No more going to beaches shouting out loud, as loud as I want when I feel sad. No more beating drums with all my heart, trying to let my feelings be drowned by those drum beats. Somehow, I am not the same guy as I used to be. In a way, i've changed, for better of for worse, I do not know.

I really wanna go to the beach to shout out, how much I really wanted to be with her, but really, does it matter? I'm guessing if she has to choose, she would choose the other guy. Afterall, they're closer to each other. All I can do is to feel glad that she is happy with someone, but sad by the fact that i'm not the special someone for my special someone.

I do not want to indulge myself in false hopes, hoping that somehow, she has a liking for me. Cuz I know that's not the case. At least, I do not think that is the case. What's the chance of that happening? Not even 1% according to my calculations. Well, I think striking toto has a higher chance of me being together with her?

Yes, I've not told her anything, but if my feelings doesn't mean anything to her, it never will. I'm not being pessimistic or what. I'm just letting my brain tell me the right path to go. A path that will not lead me to being even more sad. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess, this really is the reason why my feelings for you can increase at such an exponential rate.

Ppl might say its bullshit, that my feelings for you are just crap, that I made it all up. But I do not think so. I've lived long enough to know whether my feelings are true. What do I like about you? Perhaps the common interests? Perhaps the fact that some things start to feel tastier than it was in my life. Perhaps because of the fact that you made me see things in a different light? Perhaps because of the fact that I feel that I can open up to you? I do not know. But, does it really matter to you?

I hate myself for being such a person, a person that lets logic take over when it comes to this kind of thing. Nvr allowing my heart to take full control. Doing things to the bare minimum, showing my feelings to the bare minimum. But, does it really matter to you?

I think, I really need someone to talk to, not just this blog. But i can't think of anyone else.

Nobuo Uematsu

Nobuo Uematsu, he's just such a great composer. All his music, he's not just a game music composer, he's a great musician. He's what I've been trying so hard to do with my lyrics, to make songs that have stories to tell. All his music, have their own story to tell the audience. Just some simple examples. All these, if you're interested can be looked up on youtube, personal recommendation are those by Tour de Japon and Black Mages.

1)One-winged Angel
My personal favourite, cuz of the character the music is trying to portray. The music itself just, i dunno howta say it. I mean, you listen to it, you can feel how strong the music is trying to depict Sephiroth as. Strong, arrogant, untouchable.

*The rest are not in order of merit.
2)Aerith's Theme
Its just a sad song on the whole, like telling a story of how our dear Aerith died from my dear Sephy. lols. i mean, the whole song from the start, it was like it was telling us that aerith will die, but there's still hope, there's still love, there's still friendship in the world.

3)FF7 AC theme (a.k.a cloud's smile)
Another music that evokes the emotion in ppl, sad, and like all of nobuo's music, there's a story to tell, u just have to watch the movie to understand it.

4)J-E-N-O-V-A
ok, this music basically just gives u the impression that jenova is really a bad-ass alien. haha.

5)Opening, Bombing Mission
Classic song, basically i like those nobuo's songs that gives u the impression that some epic battle is coming up. And this opening is really the best song to start the ff7 game. Gives you the feeling that you're gonna play something epic. =)

6)To Zanarkand
The tune is just emo, emo and emo. All about the love between tidus and yuna. Their dreams, tidus' dream, yuna's dream. It tells a story, just like waht tidus said at the start of the game, "This is my story"

ok, stop here. Just listen to the whole Tour de Japon ff series ba, really very nice. XD