This is It

Went to watch "This Is It" today with zhiwei. Damn cool show, especially if you're an MJ fan. As some parts of the show, you can just get emotional ba. Cuz you'll realise, this great performer won't be doing anything new, anything special anymore, cuz he's gone, forever. But still, his memories will stay with us, all the best of him, will remain, as the best thing that he can give to us.

One of the song actually touched my heart pretty much. Especially the comments MJ had on that song. He wants to see a better earth, he wants to heal the world, not "heal the world" though, guess the song. =) And his quote kinda reminded me of why I chose EE in the first place. "We can't keep telling others to do this and do that, to change the world, to make the environment better. We have to do it ourselves, we have to be the change, it has to start from us." Not really wad he said, but kinda captured the esssence ba. Why I chose EE? cuz i wanted to improve the state the world is in, through means of making energy conserving stuff and all. Maybe enviromental engineering would have been a better choice, but still, its EE that I feel I can use and apply to what I want to do in future.

Then after that, went home, went to sch again to study. Managed to clear 2 chaps of physics ba, I would consider it productive, though andrew and i were distracting each other with youtube vids. HAHA. and mangas. And for the first time, i bought a cai tau kueh from e3 block. Really oily niah, and guess wad!? its REALLY CHAO DA LA!!! chao da kueh niah. hahaha.

When you're not happy, you just have to find a different meaning in life to make you happy. I'm still trying to find that meaning in life. Even though I've decided to not put relationship problems as my priority, I can't really find something to replace that yet. Probably need some time ba. like jay chou wrote in his song, if there are dreams you can't achieve, just change a dream. But, I never dreamt in the first place.

I'll still be myself, caring for people that I cared for before in life. No matter the relationship, no matter what I get, its just me, myself, and my feelings. The number of people I care for just keep on increasing. =.= GG!

for love, i threw away love

For love, i threw away love. -quote from some book-

lol, slept like a log. =.= stayed up until 3 plus just to fall asleep before the match. DIAO~ then woke up for lunch, tried reading physics a bit, ended up sleeping until dinner. =.= HAHAHA, its easy to fall asleep when u dun drink coffee ba.

Some things are beyond comprehension. Some things, we can understand.

I underestimated my ability to lie to myself. Sometimes, you just need to lie to yourself to be happy. But, whatever you find thru lying will never be true happiness. That, I learnt the hard way.

I really dun like to think about the past. Thinking about the past, just makes me dream of them. And in those dreams, I always seem to find back hope and love. Only to wake up and find that, life is not as good as people say it is. I've lived long enough to know that it is alright to dream, but at the end of the day, if you do not do anything, you'll end up getting nothing. Life is cruel, that, i learnt the hard way.

Its not the recent events that have made me think this way. This has been my way of thinking since sec sch. I, always work towards my goals. Never believed in dreams, cuz they're not worth believing.

And for the last time, stop lying to me. Stop telling me how much my words matter to you, cuz obviously they don't. Yes, I still care for you cuz I treat you as a sister, but that's all to it. I always care for people that have been significant to me in my life, at any stage in my life, unless they've hurt me real badly, or they've done something real bad to make me hate them so bad. Whatever there was in the past, its all in the past already. Yes, we were sweet and all, but not anymore. So, stop lying to me that I still mean alot to you. If my kindness to you continues to make you misunderstand after these 2 years, do not make me do things that I really dun like to do. I know, you'll be reading this, that's why i'm putting it here, for you, TO SEE!

Lies, Deceit. The only thing that is true in this world, is myself.

想到了第一次见到你
你有一种奇怪的魔力
我感觉到了自己偷偷想靠近你

想到了第二次见到你
感觉我并没那么高兴
因为我发现自己和你的距离

这是爱情还是你太美丽
让我作出不可思议的事情
我只知道我要看你开心
我什么都愿意 只要能够靠近你

我只好把我想说的话都放在心里
因为我只想要你开心
我知道我会辛苦也会难过
但我什么都愿意
不在乎狂风暴雨不管你在那里

我知道你和你的男孩有多么的甜蜜
所以我 才静静守着你
每一次看他紧紧拉着你手我眼泪不停的流
也只好默默退后
我什么都没说
静静忍住痛

lyrics that really depict. But I've already made up my mind. I never asked for anything, I'm not hoping for anything. I just wanna be frens.

Snippets from private:
Things do not turn out the way u want in life, its just part and parcel of life. Its not that I dun wanna take away my feelings, maybe, one day, if I find a girl who can give me the same special feeling, I will pull away. For now, just leave things as it is.

I'm becoming the mugger I once was again. No longer pursuing my wants, rather, just my needs. This was what I was, and what I hope to become again. Jay Chou's songs kinda lifted my mood. Be happy with what you have, that is the lesson I've learnt.

I'm not acting. I know.

finding meaning

Finding meaning in the lyrics of dao xiang. Not to say that it wasn't meaningful in the past. But somehow, it soothed my soul when I was finding it so hard to sleep last night. All the emotions just died down. The lyrics really make you think that we should live life on the bright side. Everything has 2 faces to it. One part where it made the most meaning to me was : 珍惜一切就算沒有擁有

i'll do it, even if it is not mine, but i'll treasure whatever that is, even if there is nothing. =)

always look on the bright side of life eh? ahahaa, but how long will this last? I wonder. Life is a roller coaster ride of emotions after all.

Everyday feels like a challenge

Everyday feels like a challenge. Why? I dun wanna explain here. If you're not supposed to know, you're just not supposed to know. I dun want stupid ppl coming to bother me when i'm already feeling so freakin down.

I can only find joy in studying now. =.=

I need sports & games in my life once more. Breathe some joy into my life, but that is not to be.

in the end

in the end..i still emo-ed..=.=

a week of roller coaster

I would say, this week has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. It felt as if i was on the sea, the emotions going up and down. But at least now, its on a high and i hope i can maintain it. Even more so, because i alr kan kai with the emo stuff.

O wells! AND GUESS WHY I'M SO HAPPY!?? *I SHALL TYPE IN CAPS TO EXPRESS MY HAPPINESS*

LIVERPOOL WON!!! CREDITS TO TORRES, BENAYOUN & NGOG FOR THE 2 GOALS! TOTALLY CHEERED ME UP!

its always good to see the team win. Especially when we've come under so much flak from the media and all for losing games. This game just showed wad a team liverpool is. We never give up.

This is why I love liverpool. Constantly reminding me not to give up on anything in life.

And I'll never give up. =D