why shld i be happy??

seriously..why shld i be happy?


i can find a hundred reasons why i shld be sad with my life..but i find it hard even to find ONE single reason to be happy with my life..tell me WHY..WTF..


when i have time..i'll juz list out the 100 reasons..if aniwan can gimme 10 good reasons that i can accept abt why i shld be happy..perhaps i wld be happy..but now..NO..i'm not happy..i shld be sad..


F u chee bai lan jiao arsehole ppl who live in this fuck-up world with fuck-up chee bai lan jiao kah jiao-ing ur live like dunno wad fuck-up shit when all u want is juz to live a fuckin peaceful life..so knnbccb la..FUCK-UP..kpkb..


lol..i''m back..seriously..back to my old self..vulgar me..mugger me..trust-no-one me..promises are made to be broken..and seriously i shall juz do that..since no one has so far fullfilled their promises to me..and i say NO ONE..promosing u to help u find certain thing..but when u ask him/her for it..he/she wld juz ignore u..FUCK-UP la..kpkb..


promising u to be there..but when u need them..they're not there for u..fuck-up world..


the only way i can hide this fuck-up feelings inside me is thru studies and perhaps some occasional bball..old me..thirteen-yr-old me..vulgar me..mugger me..


and ya..i've realised my taste is quite the same as liang mong..at firz sight la..but after much observation..it wld move more towards patrick's kinda taste..LOL


one sad thing..after 2 yrs..tho not exactly 2 yrs yet..u're the only one who i can rmm the date that we started..6thMarch..can u like..tell me y??..and it ended on 12thApril..cuz it's significant?cuz i still have feelings for u??i do not noe..but u wld nvr noe..u wld nvr look back again..i guess if i ask u the same qsn like i've asked 2 yrs ago on 12thApril, ur answer wld still be the same..and ur answer will still be no..but i realli wanna ask u the qsn again..and i hope the answer wld be yes and that u wld hint me again by saying that u're listening to that song again..shuo ai ni..it juz means so much to me..but i doubt u wld ever noe..and now i noe y i fail in the relationships so far..cuz i still can't forget u..my heart can't accomodate another one when u're still takin up that place..when will i truly forget..when..i was 16 then..but i'm 18 now..my thinking has matured..but my feelings for u are still true and present..even till now..i realli hope that i have the chance to explain wad exactly happened 2 yrs back..and that i've nvr like wad u've said..jio-ing other gals when i say i like one gal..it's not true..but wld u ever believe me??after 2 yrs..will u still believe me..the one that u've once trusted..the one u've once called "ing ing" or papa b4 6thMarch..will u..haiz..i tot i've forgotten u but evrytime i kenna rejection by gal..i'll realise..i still have feelings for u..and i noe that is my true feeling..and the feeling i have for other gals is juz a false impression i'm trying to have so that i wld make myself believe that i've forgotten u when in actual fact..i haven't..i didn't do anithing to u in these 2 yrs..didn't tell u al these..cuz i'm scared..that my heart wld be once again broken..i realli dun dare..i dun dare to hear u say no again to me..perhaps i've broken ur heart 2 yrs back..or mebbe i didn't..but i always tot our feelings for each other was true then and i've nvr doubted it..at least for that one month..it was mutual..i'll ask this qsn again..if u happen to be reading this..will u gimme a chance again?


but i guess ur ans wld be "no, and never in the future.." like wad u've said 2 yrs back..that's y i dun dare to ask..realli dun dare..u shld noe who u are..if u happen to read this..cuz it's the song "shuo ai ni" that made me dare tell u..i realli..dunno wad to do..haiz..