all of a sudden

all of a sudden, i dunno wad happened. a realisation? y do ppl only seriously tok to me when they need my help. when they want me to get something for them, when they got some prob with them and they noe i'm the only one who wun haf a prob with them. sacrificin myself for the happiness of others. wad's the point. ppl sad i go an1 wei4. but when i was sad, who was there for me. NO FUCKING PERSON! FUCK YOU! no, i'm jus pissed. i'm not a realli good person, i realli ain't a good guy. if i'm realli a good guy, ppl wun make use of me. ppl wun treat me as the almighty only when they have something they want from me. all those stuff for wad? i dun get it. did so many things that a simple thank you ain't enuff to cover up all those shit i've done in order to get u to jus say a THANK YOU? alrite, thanks. but that's not wad i realli needed. all i wanted was someone there. no one. and no one can ever feel how lonely i am. yea, wadeva. no matter how happy i might appear, well, i tell u the truth now, most of the time, say 75% of the time i wasn't. even if i was, when i look back at it, i wld juz think, shld i realli be happy abt all that? all these stuff, not even worth a single effort from me. but i still do, cuz i dun want anyone to be sad, except only for me? i care too much. that's the prob. care too much abt other ppl, ppl that no longer mattered in my life, yet i care. i'm juz that kinda person. 就算分手过或被拒绝过, 我还是希望妳们能够幸福快乐, 所以我不能不在乎妳们现在是否快乐. 已经付出的心是很难要回来的, 那份心意只是被时间与悲伤埋葬于心里深处. that's me, i jus can't dun care. but ain't that supposed to be liddat? when u like or love someone, ain't u juz supposed to wish for her happiness? even after they haf left u, wad u feel shld still be the same. want feel jealous? so be it. i dun think i'm wrong. doing all these jus show how these relationships mattered to me. but at the end of the day, you are the only one that realli matters, yet u're the one that doesn't even care. 3 words, enuff to say it all. I love u.

F O!