decision made

decision made..

i've decided not to do anithing abt her juz yet..juz remain frenz for the time being wld be juz fine..juz dun wanna bother myself with this kinda stuff when i can't even handle frenships..only when i can handle frenships wld i go for it..

torch

the torch shines for peter..not his fren..

so wad now?

if it's juz a simple game i will juz give up so that i wld not be bringing an end to my so-called frenship with a "fren"..but this time round..it's not juz a normal game..it's a special one i wld say..it has been a long time since i've liked to play a game of my type..a happy game..say..one to 2 yrs?..haiz..the last one was my second game which i succeeded in bidding over..so i'm pretty serious abt it this time..tho it mite cause me to lose a "fren"..i realli dunno..brotherhood?firz time someone calling me a brother..wadeva..is this true brotherhood?zuo xiong di..jing sheng you..but..are we realli xiong di..or izzit juz becuz we play with each other often that's y we juz stereotype each other as xiong di..wadeva..and ya..so i'm pretty serious abt this game i'm trying to bid..wld i ever get to have a game that i like again??

today is a so-so day..morning k la..afternoon pissed..becuz of customers..pissing me off with silly requests..like..can i have the christmas carrier?wadeva..and of cuz..oso pissed off with some other things..but dun feel like tokking abt it..

let's hope tml wld be a better day ba..but tml is sunday..and there might be alot of things happening tml..so mite not turn out to be a good day..haiz..

missing boss..if he was here mebbe things wld not be so jialatx cuz he can brighten up the atmosphere..LOL..wadeva..

crying without tears again?mebbe..but is that realli crying or izzit juz a feeling of sadness..haiz

are u a fren

k..after wad happened juz now..i can be even more sure of what i have stated the other day..i have no true frenz..and not even buddies..yes..i mite have said something or 've done something that pissed u off..but wad is that..u nv tell me..i dun even noe whether it's directly or indirectly..and u dun even gimme a chance to explain myself..but i guess there is no point in doing so..cuz in the firz place..u're already thinking that i'm absolutely wrong..wld true frenz do that?ya..mebbe they'll jump straight to conclusions..stating that u're wrong..but never not stating a reason why as he/she is pissed off with u or think that u're absolutely wrong..and to the extent that even a sorry is no cure..yes..sorry mite be no cure..but a true fren wldn't keep it to himself..wldn't say sorry no cure and not give a reason as to y sorry is no cure..and juz keep on saying "NO" and shit stuff..and i wld like to say..u're not the only one in the whole world who is pissed off..it's not like wad u think..it's not happening only to u..have u ever thot that it mite be happening to others juz that becuz that other person thinks that u're a fren so he dun wanna trouble a fren or wad..evryone has his/her woes..not only u..u tell me go reflect..yes..i've reflected..that's y till now i'm still not aslp..but reflection is over boy..and my conclusion is i've nv done anithing today that wld have cause any harm to our frenship..or mebbe it's not even a frenship..can i call that a frenship?

yes..i've said in a previous post that i can do anithing..even to the extent of betraying a fren..but u think i wld actualli do that???betraying a fren?even though i doubt our frenship..i still call u a fren in front of u..i treat u as what i think one wld treat a fren..but i dunno if these ppl i call "frens" will treat me like i treat them..that's y i doubt frenship..is it the way i treat ppl as frenz that is wrong or wad..mebbe i'll nv noe..

all i can say is sorry and nothing but sorry..even though i still can't think of wad i've done wrong..but i still wanna say sorry..cuz i dun wish to lose wad i think..is a "frenship"..or is it juz acquaintances that i am calling them frenz..i realli dunno..

and to the one i've talked to abt this frenship stuff and family stuff juz abt an hour ago and who thinks that i'm thinking too much..i can tell u now that i'm not thinking too much..cuz my frenships are doubtful..mebbe u can tell me wad truly are frens..

my day was okay..but juz becuz of ur bad day..u've made my day bad too..but i've no comments abt it or anithing..if it's realli becuz of something i've done that made ur day bad..then i guess it's only rite for my day to be bad too..am i rite? "fren"?or "acquaintances"?

u can't blame me for doubting frenship and say it's my fault that i'm doubting frenships..but it was so-called "frenz" who made me doubt frenships..once bitten twice shy..perhaps the "trust-no-one" me is back..but at least this time i guess i still can trust my family for once..and perhaps the one who have talked to me abt frenship stuff and family stuff..at least i had sensed some truthfullness and trustworthiness in his/her words..mebbe that is wad frenz are?to be able to let u sense truthfullness in her words..

but i juz can't understand y the one i've thot to be my "fren" juz can't believe in me..but wadeva..if u dun believe in me..juz let it be..if u still wanna call me a "fren" so be it..i'm fine with it..but i doubt we cld still be "frens" like we were..cuz u alr have doubts in me..

and to the one i've tokked to abt frenship and family stuff..ya..i think my vocab used in wad i've told u juz now mite be a little bit wrong..cuz i tokked abt not having buddies or true frenz..mebbe i shld juz tell u some other day ba..

once again..sorry again..but i realli can't think of wad wrong i've done..

a truth

good guys are bullied..
bad guys gets their gals..

working on lyrics for a song to show how sad guys are..

support the ff7 remake

hopefully square wld remake ff7..like i've said in a previous post on ff7 ac..if they cld remake ff7 as a ps3 version..it wld be bez..and better if they can link the firz story to ff7 ac..let's hope that we can see ff7 on ps3 in the future..bez game i've ever played..ff rox..ff7 rox most..so pls click on the link in my links..for the online petition..cuz ff7 is realli is a good game and we muz support it..even if u nv played it or watched the movie b4..u still shld support it cuz i'm sure more will be delighted abt the remade version of ff7 if it truly comes out..

and ya..today is a damn stupid day..slacked till cannot slack animore..haha..go up to hr to carry table..but wait wait wait for so long..then wait for lift to come up oso very long..so wasted like half an hour juz to carry tables and chairs..and ya.went to accounts to return the visa mc and amex slips..lol..can't believe they actualli forgot to put these things into their slip bags..but seems that only if we're there wld there be no problems..haha..but mebbe the senior staff weren't there yest nite?dun realli noe..haha..but wadeva..i'll get my 48 dollars per day aniwae..lol

do i stand a chance?

shld i juz tell her that i'm willing to subsidise her?or shld i wait and observe the situation..wadeva..i've got a feeling i'm gonna flop this time round again..tho i'm more serious than other times..i'm still not confident..i've nv felt so serious b4..willing to do anithing juz to be together with her..even if it means to betray my frenz..i guess my seriousness is scary..but i guess i will not resort to betraying my frenz juz to be together with her..zhong4 se4 qing1 you3???dun realli care now..i flop in my life..loner..no true frenz..juz now lonely lonely walk home..thinking abt alot of stuff..realised that ppl who i call buddies or frenz are not truly ppl i noe..i do not noe them well..mebbe i dun make myself active when we hang out together..that's y there's a lack of communication..i'm juz telling myself to take it one step as a time..slowly..if this is wad i'm born to be..as a loner..i'll juz live with it..p.sch to now..have i realli had a true fren?i guess not..but one thing i noe..is that i put all i have into liking someone..perhaps that's y i ignore my frenz..and perhaps that's y i'm getting more hurt and hurt in the heart each time i like someone..but it's juz me..plain me as to put my whole heart into a relationship..

and i didn't eat my dinner all thanx to someone..but nvm..and ya..i wasted 8 dollars on chicken little..dotx..the other 8 dollars leh..i dunno la..it's not up to me to decide whether it's wasted..haha..

great time spent together with boss..but as i've said earlier on..this is not a true frenship..do i realli treat them as frenz..mebbe?i dunno..but how do i explain the fact that i actualli asked them to without me to buy the tic firz while i wait..if i treat them as frenz..wld i do that?i dunno..

if frenz are like this..k lo..i have frenz..but true frenz who understand how i feel..nah..perhaps becuz i nv express my true self infront of frenz..perhaps becuz i only show my true self infront of the gal that i like..perhaps i was nv given a chance to express myself in front of my frenz..too many qsns that puzzle me in my life..haiz..

but rite now..i guess i shall juz put all my mind on the prob i'm facing now till after holidays..

and..pls..dun gimme false hopes..i can't stand false hopes animore..