do i stand a chance?

shld i juz tell her that i'm willing to subsidise her?or shld i wait and observe the situation..wadeva..i've got a feeling i'm gonna flop this time round again..tho i'm more serious than other times..i'm still not confident..i've nv felt so serious b4..willing to do anithing juz to be together with her..even if it means to betray my frenz..i guess my seriousness is scary..but i guess i will not resort to betraying my frenz juz to be together with her..zhong4 se4 qing1 you3???dun realli care now..i flop in my life..loner..no true frenz..juz now lonely lonely walk home..thinking abt alot of stuff..realised that ppl who i call buddies or frenz are not truly ppl i noe..i do not noe them well..mebbe i dun make myself active when we hang out together..that's y there's a lack of communication..i'm juz telling myself to take it one step as a time..slowly..if this is wad i'm born to be..as a loner..i'll juz live with it..p.sch to now..have i realli had a true fren?i guess not..but one thing i noe..is that i put all i have into liking someone..perhaps that's y i ignore my frenz..and perhaps that's y i'm getting more hurt and hurt in the heart each time i like someone..but it's juz me..plain me as to put my whole heart into a relationship..

and i didn't eat my dinner all thanx to someone..but nvm..and ya..i wasted 8 dollars on chicken little..dotx..the other 8 dollars leh..i dunno la..it's not up to me to decide whether it's wasted..haha..

great time spent together with boss..but as i've said earlier on..this is not a true frenship..do i realli treat them as frenz..mebbe?i dunno..but how do i explain the fact that i actualli asked them to without me to buy the tic firz while i wait..if i treat them as frenz..wld i do that?i dunno..

if frenz are like this..k lo..i have frenz..but true frenz who understand how i feel..nah..perhaps becuz i nv express my true self infront of frenz..perhaps becuz i only show my true self infront of the gal that i like..perhaps i was nv given a chance to express myself in front of my frenz..too many qsns that puzzle me in my life..haiz..

but rite now..i guess i shall juz put all my mind on the prob i'm facing now till after holidays..

and..pls..dun gimme false hopes..i can't stand false hopes animore..