hmmm

hai, bad day though it started out good.

firz thing in the mornin, wake up, still very happy cuz of a very very sweet drm. dreamt of me and her(1) being a married couple. then as i started thinking abt the drm, i started to get troubled by it. why is it her(1) and not her(2)? as if my problems with her(2) was not enuff, her(1) has to pop up in my drms. yea, i completely dun wanna haf anything to do with her(1) le, but can't help feeling troubled by the dream. wad's it meant to be? the more i think the more i feel troubled.

later into the night, i started wandering abt alot of stuff too. mebbe it's becuz of wad my mom said, that reminded me abt wad i promised myself in the past. i told myself to make my mom happy, and had been doing that since a long time ago, although sometimes i make her angry. then i also remembered i told myself i wanna make her(2) happy oso. and i wanted to see her(1) happy. the heavy responsibility of making ppl happy suddenly seemed even more heavier than ever. so heavy, that i started thinking, wtf, y do i wanna make so many ppl happy when ppl can't even gimme the happiness i want. so i decided, i jus wanna make my mom & dad happy, to be responsible for their happiness, and only to wish that her(2) and her (1) can both be happy. the responsibility of trying to make ppl happy is jus too much for me to handle, when i dun truly understand it as well, i guess jus makin my mom & dad happy is enuff. wad can a man who dun really noe wad happiness is give to a woman he likes. i think it's jus too heavy a responsibility for me.

so i wish her(2) and her(1) can be happy, though i hope i can be together with her(2) again, but like wad i said in the last post, it's really too far away. we've drifted apart in the past 4 yrs, i dunno whether we can get back again. whether it's even possible.

and the dream, i'll jus treat it as a sweet drm, and a really sweet one. but it's all a dream.

life is a nightmare, but i hope it's not the same for my parents. i just want them to be happy, and i'll make it happen. pls be happy.

far

so far away,
to the extent that i can't find a way,
out of this life that i face everyday,
having to stand alone without you everyday.

years gone by,
and i ask myself why,
that i let you go 2 years back,
without a chance of getting you back.

i feel like giving up,
cause i know there's no chance
of you cheering me up,
ever again in this life of mine.

you, are just too far away, really, really far away.

OMG

hahas, can't resist the temptation to listen to the new songs from jay's album that's not out yet. but since i alr pre-ordered it, i guess it's not a problem. XP SUPPORT ORIGINAL!!! hahas, but i've singled out 2 great songs, one is 女儿红, the other is 失落的非主流. these songs might not be the same title in original album, but it's still nice to hear. SO GO AND BUY THE ORIGINAL, IT'S WORTH IT!!! hahahahas

magazine

this is the 300th post, wad a coincidence.to me, this day is not that impt at all. not a day worth remembering, not a day worth celebrating, not a day to be happy about. to me, it's jus a day that i was born dead. nvm, i wun go into details. but the point is, i will only remember this day as the day that my mom had to suffer jus to gif birth to me.

20 yrs, i've nver really felt happy on this day. but to me, it doesn't matter.the one i wish was there for me, not there, so it doesn't matter. it doesn't really matter.

i dun care wtf u all do to me, it doesn't matter. tau pok me, wadeva, i dun care.

and thx to those who wished me happy birthday.

but as the hrs jus drag by, and now it's 4am, and my third editin of this post, i jus find it harder to digest. of all ppl, i jus wanted her to wish me happy bday. she's busy, nvm, i dun blame her. i jus tried to make it obvious, stayin awake while she's still online. yea, i can't slp cuz of the mocha. but the main thing why i dun wanna slp is cuz i wanna hear it from her. but it seems that it's jus getting more and more belated. no point waiting? i'll hafta do something abt it ba. it's time to do it yea? i'm not sure abt it, but i guess i can't wait no more. no point. nothing's gonna change if i dun do anything abt it.

and i kinda made this.

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

稻香

went to watch vicky cristina barcelona. at firz thot the movie was quite boring, at the firz part. but it slowly became farni, esp when maria elena appeared!hahas, she was really good at acting as a psycho wife of juan antonio. and they were really farni. muz look at the movie in an artistic manner la. can't compare it to real life, else wun realli enjoy it. hahas.

and heard jay's new song oso!!! 稻香. superb! they lyrics~hahas. very special song.

对这个世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢继续往前走
为什么人要这么的脆弱堕落
请你打开电视看看多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我们是不是该知足
珍惜一切就算没有拥有

还记得你说家是唯一的城堡
随著稻香河流继续奔跑
微微笑小时候的梦我知道

不要哭让萤火虫带著你逃跑
乡间的歌谣永远的依靠回家吧
回到最初的美好

不要这黱容易就想放弃
就像我说的
追不到的梦想换个梦不就得了
为自己的人生鲜艳上色
先把爱涂上喜欢的颜色
笑一个吧功成名就不是目的
让自己快乐快乐这才叫做意义
童年的纸飞机
现在终於飞回我手里

所谓的那快乐
赤脚在田里追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂给叮到怕了
谁在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著风唱著歌睡著了

哦哦午后吉它在虫鸣中更清脆
哦哦阳光洒在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切就算没有拥有

还记得你说家是唯一的城堡
随著稻香河流继续奔跑微微笑
小时候的梦我知道

不要哭让萤火虫带著你逃跑
乡间的歌谣永远的依靠回家吧
回到最初的美好☆.

songs

i really like the blog song i put on my song blog, it really is wad i feel like telling her. have been lookin thru the emails that i wanted send to her over the past few yrs. i guess i really still like her. the feeling has nvr changed. i noe she has changed, but i still like her as she is now. i realli wanna be with her. o, btw, the song on my song blog is called 小丑鱼. really nice song, it jus describes wad i feel for her. together with 没有你, these 2 are the songs that i'll sing to her if haf the chance.

aniwaes, LIVERPOOL WON! hahas, so happy today. mascherano was jus superb. AND KUYT TOO!!!hahas. not forgetting match winner babel and wes brown. XP..

o...k, fine..

hmm, i wonder..why issit so ez for her to c me when i was the one who wanted to c her more..but somehow i tot she was there..wad was i thinking..hmmm, nvm..

COMEX is over!!! but got muh stuff yest alr..so didn't go on last day..the crowd yest was realli too much for me to handle..u can go up yea, but no way u can come down by escalator..only way, stairs..and sony booth was superb..so many ppl!!!hahahas..i go there get ps3 and i was thinking..how come so many ppl standing arnd doin nothing..then after the guy was done with that piece of paper, he asked me to join the queue..then, i realised..those ppl standing arnd doin nothing, it was the queue!!!and it was VERY long! after that got my monitor oso..i approached the sales girl and i realised, she's my neighbour..those kind u c evryday but u dunno who they are, yea..that kind..and i think she recognised me too..but ba! wadeva..got evrything and headed home in cab..YEA! PS3! ASSASSIN'S CREED ROX! SOUL CALIBUR IV TOO!!!

sian..liverpool draw 0-0..haiya..nvm..chelsea oso drew 0-0..and gerrard wasn't arnd while torres was injured early..haiz..

i think we're getting a bit closer again..like last time..i'm vry happy with this..i dunno whether i shld be greedy and want more..or jus let things stay this way..i dun wanna regret for doing things that i shldn't have, but oso not for not doing things i shld have..hai..tell me wad to do..