So just a little update about life.
Nothing much, like i've already mentioned previously, went for internship. Made some new friends at work, in particular those 3 ia students cuz we basically slacked our day away together at work. Its good that we actually could find time to slack, if not I would have finished most of the work assigned to me within the first 3 weeks instead of dragging it to 7 weeks. Sounds like i'm too slack eh? But I guess that's how it should be for interns? I'm just paid 700 bucks per month, what's the use of doing so much. Furthermore, most of the stuff I had to do them on my own since my supervisor was pretty much busy with his own stuff and just allocated work for me in a rather random fashion.
Then came the bomb of ICT. Well, not like it was all of a sudden. Planned 6 months ago with the SAF-100 and guess what. One week just passed by. Nothing much actually, just really really, alot of training under the hot sun. Apart from thursday which went by without doing anything other than sleeping in bunk, the rest of the days were training all over again. Feels like the NSF days, except this time I'm not with my platoon mates. Got jumbled up, like last year, with the alpha coy peeps. Pretty fun ppl I would say, but well, dunno any of them so nothing to say to them really. Got myself a pretty nice tan from all those training though. A pretty white singlet to sum it off. At least I wun have ugly tan-lines when i wear singlets. LOL.
Can't wait for this ICT to be over though, really need my life back. But with that said, life after that is gonna be internship again. O well, new stuff to learn when i go back to ST. Something to do with lasers. Sounds cool eh, it sure does. O well.
Friday, July 01, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
I feel like shouting
I always do. To go somewhere, quiet, just me alone, and maybe, with you (though that's probably not gonna happen ever). I just wanna shout to the world, hear the echoes, and realise how lonely I am in this world. Or rather, ay, nvm.
Maybe its the tiredness getting to me, or the fact that the weekend ended once again with me practically doing nothing. Drinking after engin camp, basically burnt my sat away cuz of a bad headache after that. I needed that anyway, to drink and feel happy, even if its just me being high becuz of the alcohol, but whatever, at least I felt open when I was drinking. No locks, no whatsoever.
I tried opening up, you know. I talked to you, you don't even bother. Stop giving me lame excuses, you do know how lame you sound when you come up with these. I really dun want to give a shit about you anymore. Its not the first time already, and you probably know it. Why can't we just be honest to each other. What you want, what I want. We should settle it once and for all, get it over and done with. Just tell me how much you hate me while I'll tell you how much I actually loved you but would be willing to let go if you would just say no. Its gotten to the point that I'm tired of all these. Its not me not trying, its you not willing to accept. You've probably been making use of me all these time, telling me stuff when you really needed it, and that i'm probably the only nice and dumb guy in the world to say yes to your requests. You only talk to me when you need me, but when I needed someone to talk to, you'll never be there, ever.
Strangely though, all these kinda seem to be a cycle. A cycle of me being taken advantage of by people and once I'm useless to them, they just kick me aside. Nah, you don't need to say anything, I understand. What I mean to you, probably is just a useless existence. There is no use for me anymore, cuz I don't live in the East, cuz I don't have time to do stuff with you, cuz I'm just not the kind to show my feelings so easily. I don't know anymore, I just know that I'm tired.
But I still love the way you smile. ):
Maybe its the tiredness getting to me, or the fact that the weekend ended once again with me practically doing nothing. Drinking after engin camp, basically burnt my sat away cuz of a bad headache after that. I needed that anyway, to drink and feel happy, even if its just me being high becuz of the alcohol, but whatever, at least I felt open when I was drinking. No locks, no whatsoever.
I tried opening up, you know. I talked to you, you don't even bother. Stop giving me lame excuses, you do know how lame you sound when you come up with these. I really dun want to give a shit about you anymore. Its not the first time already, and you probably know it. Why can't we just be honest to each other. What you want, what I want. We should settle it once and for all, get it over and done with. Just tell me how much you hate me while I'll tell you how much I actually loved you but would be willing to let go if you would just say no. Its gotten to the point that I'm tired of all these. Its not me not trying, its you not willing to accept. You've probably been making use of me all these time, telling me stuff when you really needed it, and that i'm probably the only nice and dumb guy in the world to say yes to your requests. You only talk to me when you need me, but when I needed someone to talk to, you'll never be there, ever.
Strangely though, all these kinda seem to be a cycle. A cycle of me being taken advantage of by people and once I'm useless to them, they just kick me aside. Nah, you don't need to say anything, I understand. What I mean to you, probably is just a useless existence. There is no use for me anymore, cuz I don't live in the East, cuz I don't have time to do stuff with you, cuz I'm just not the kind to show my feelings so easily. I don't know anymore, I just know that I'm tired.
But I still love the way you smile. ):
Thursday, June 02, 2011
我不配
I did a lot, I tried...a lot. So much so that, I've come to realise, what I've been doing, and no matter what I can do, it'll never be enough for you. Simply put, its becuz of what you see up there as the title. 我不配.
Or rather, the both of us 不配? There's always that something missing when I tried to click. We seem to be only able to talk when you're in a good mood? Only when you want to talk, that you will really talk to me?
Other than that, whenever I needed someone to talk to, I tot, hey, maybe I could talk to you since you had talked to me about your problems before. But no, you were just, another person on my msn contact list that wouldn't bother to listen to me when I talk to you. You're either busy watching your dramas/blog hopping, that you can't even bother to take a little bit of your time out to listen to what I've got to say.
And to think that back then, when you had problems, when you needed my help, I would just take my time out to help you, even when it was the exam period and I really should have been studying. But yeah, I guess that's just me. It didn't need to be you, if it was anyone else, I would have probably did the same if whatever it is is within my powers. And I guess that's why I failed to make you feel that you're a special someone to me since I treat everyone the same, and in particular, I treat a certain friend better than I do to you. But am I really to blame, when its you who made me feel that you didn't really need me, you had plenty of choices, I'm just another one who was willing to listen.
Then comes the age-old saying of mine, "stop being a nice guy". If anyone has bothered to read my posts consistently, they would realise that this is something I always say.
Am I not nice enough to you? Perhaps you never felt the way I felt. Or that you simply never tried to understand who I was, and to you, I was just someone who would be there if you needed me, but someone whom you'll never come to rescue when I fall into this bottomless pit called, "in love with you".
Or rather, the both of us 不配? There's always that something missing when I tried to click. We seem to be only able to talk when you're in a good mood? Only when you want to talk, that you will really talk to me?
Other than that, whenever I needed someone to talk to, I tot, hey, maybe I could talk to you since you had talked to me about your problems before. But no, you were just, another person on my msn contact list that wouldn't bother to listen to me when I talk to you. You're either busy watching your dramas/blog hopping, that you can't even bother to take a little bit of your time out to listen to what I've got to say.
And to think that back then, when you had problems, when you needed my help, I would just take my time out to help you, even when it was the exam period and I really should have been studying. But yeah, I guess that's just me. It didn't need to be you, if it was anyone else, I would have probably did the same if whatever it is is within my powers. And I guess that's why I failed to make you feel that you're a special someone to me since I treat everyone the same, and in particular, I treat a certain friend better than I do to you. But am I really to blame, when its you who made me feel that you didn't really need me, you had plenty of choices, I'm just another one who was willing to listen.
Then comes the age-old saying of mine, "stop being a nice guy". If anyone has bothered to read my posts consistently, they would realise that this is something I always say.
Am I not nice enough to you? Perhaps you never felt the way I felt. Or that you simply never tried to understand who I was, and to you, I was just someone who would be there if you needed me, but someone whom you'll never come to rescue when I fall into this bottomless pit called, "in love with you".
Monday, May 30, 2011
只要你对别人好，别人就会对你好
My mom told me that when we were watching some variety show on ch8 just now.
And I totally disagreed with her when she said that. I rebutted her by saying, "你对别人好，人家不一定对你好的" Probably said it out cuz it was really what I felt, and what i've been feeling all this while, ever since the day I realised its so hard to place trust in anyone anymore, and that, happened 7 years ago.
Perhaps I never let it go, and perhaps, i'll never find a way to let this regret go. I can never tell anyone my true feelings? When was the last time I told a person how I truly felt. Can't recall. There will always be some thing holding me back when I want to say the things I really want to say. Be it for fear of trust being misplaced, or be it that these ppl are not worth my trust.
But lately, I've realised that perhaps, the one that is not worthy is me. I'm not worthy to gain anyone who I can trust fully, when I can't even face the truth myself. Perhaps, if one day, I find the right person, I'll be able to tell her everything I truly feel.
There have been people in my life, after that fateful day 7 years ago, that have made me feel like telling them all, telling them everything. But somehow, somewhat, due to certain circumstances, or that the fact that they can never be the special someone in my life, I stopped there, not wanting to say anymore. Backing away, kicking ppl away so that I won't have any tendency to tell them the truth, at all. I'm afraid, i'm always afraid, that once I put my heart out into the open and leave it in someone else's care, I would get hurt again. But in the end, no matter what I do, I'll still get hurt. But it would probably hurt even more if I truly poured my heart out.
In fact, I did leave this fragile heart of mine in some ppl's hands before, but i've always managed to take it all back in time before too much damage is done. But like I've said before and will always say, this whole thing is tiring. I'm tired of trying. Tired of having to find someone who will truly understand.
Its like shouting out to the world for someone to understand, but all I get is my own echo.
I'm tired, really tired.
All these sleepless nights, becuz I have no one to talk to. I don't want them anymore, but what can I do.
When I say things out, ppl dun understand. When me myself doesn't even understand my own feelings, who would even try to understand me?
You? you? You? or perhaps you? No. None. None of you will ever try to understand.
Why? Am I not good enough? Am I such a bastard that no one would care about? Or perhaps I'm always saying the wrong things.
I don't want to cry anymore, I really don't. I would rather show ppl my true happy face than put on a facade of smiles to cover up those tears and sadness.
Smilez 4 eva, you told me that, and I'm still doing it, though not from the heart, but at least it shows on the face.
I'm probably a hypocrite for doing that. But if ppl dun bother to try to understand my sadness, then there is no point in letting ppl know what I am truly feeling, so i'll just keep smiling.
And I totally disagreed with her when she said that. I rebutted her by saying, "你对别人好，人家不一定对你好的" Probably said it out cuz it was really what I felt, and what i've been feeling all this while, ever since the day I realised its so hard to place trust in anyone anymore, and that, happened 7 years ago.
Perhaps I never let it go, and perhaps, i'll never find a way to let this regret go. I can never tell anyone my true feelings? When was the last time I told a person how I truly felt. Can't recall. There will always be some thing holding me back when I want to say the things I really want to say. Be it for fear of trust being misplaced, or be it that these ppl are not worth my trust.
But lately, I've realised that perhaps, the one that is not worthy is me. I'm not worthy to gain anyone who I can trust fully, when I can't even face the truth myself. Perhaps, if one day, I find the right person, I'll be able to tell her everything I truly feel.
There have been people in my life, after that fateful day 7 years ago, that have made me feel like telling them all, telling them everything. But somehow, somewhat, due to certain circumstances, or that the fact that they can never be the special someone in my life, I stopped there, not wanting to say anymore. Backing away, kicking ppl away so that I won't have any tendency to tell them the truth, at all. I'm afraid, i'm always afraid, that once I put my heart out into the open and leave it in someone else's care, I would get hurt again. But in the end, no matter what I do, I'll still get hurt. But it would probably hurt even more if I truly poured my heart out.
In fact, I did leave this fragile heart of mine in some ppl's hands before, but i've always managed to take it all back in time before too much damage is done. But like I've said before and will always say, this whole thing is tiring. I'm tired of trying. Tired of having to find someone who will truly understand.
Its like shouting out to the world for someone to understand, but all I get is my own echo.
I'm tired, really tired.
All these sleepless nights, becuz I have no one to talk to. I don't want them anymore, but what can I do.
When I say things out, ppl dun understand. When me myself doesn't even understand my own feelings, who would even try to understand me?
You? you? You? or perhaps you? No. None. None of you will ever try to understand.
Why? Am I not good enough? Am I such a bastard that no one would care about? Or perhaps I'm always saying the wrong things.
I don't want to cry anymore, I really don't. I would rather show ppl my true happy face than put on a facade of smiles to cover up those tears and sadness.
Smilez 4 eva, you told me that, and I'm still doing it, though not from the heart, but at least it shows on the face.
I'm probably a hypocrite for doing that. But if ppl dun bother to try to understand my sadness, then there is no point in letting ppl know what I am truly feeling, so i'll just keep smiling.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
what it seems to be
might not be what we really see.
I'm just having a random title for this post cuz i can't really think of what i'm gonna say in the next few lines/paragraphs. Nothing much, just random stuff and some updates about life?
Intern started. Nothing much to say about that, just work work...and work. I guess having internet access really makes intern life much better? But I don't have that luxury, at all. So yeah, its kinda sucky nowadays. Doing work, work and just work.
Had dinner last night with the ese peeps. Not really into korean, so yeah, good meat, but really, not something that I would go back for. With that said, its kinda boring hearing them all talking about ese stuff, but as usual, i just tried to stay interested, sound interested and chip in with a few laughters here and there. But it was good company anyway, so yeah. Better than staying at home on a boring saturday night. I needed to get out and enjoy anyway.
Friday night was much more fun with the drinking and karaoke. Its only around these guys that I can be myself? Not giving a care about what's gonna happen if I do this or that, just thinking that nothing will go wrong. Being able to be oneself. Guess that's what i've always been searching for in my life. A place where I can be myself. I do miss secondary school days alot. It was when I felt I had everything. The degree of freedom back then was just right. Not too rigid, we still had some control over our life but there were people monitoring out progress so that we wun go wrong. Well, those were the days.
I always felt it wasn't right growing up. It seemed as though the older i grow, the number of ppl i can actually talk to about my stuff just dwindle down slowly. Back then, if I ever needed someone to talk to, i'll just go on msn. The first few ppl on my contact list would definitely be ppl that I could talk to. Now, I open up my msn, I don't even feel like talking. When you try so hard to talk to ppl, but they really dun care. Cuz someone like me just doesn't matter to anyone. I'm just, another person to everyone. In life, there are people who will be special to other people, people who you want to keep in life, for life. Well, for me, it seems as though i'm not any of these to anyone. To ppl, i'm just the kind of person that doesn't matter. I'm only there for as long as i'm useful. Once there's no use of me for anything, they kick me aside like as if its alright to hurt my feelings, as if its a given that I'll get back up and carry on walking. Yeah, I did get back up and carried on walking for alot of times already. But i'm just getting tired. Being able to get back up doesn't mean it does not hurt anymore. The pain always stays.
But no one cared.
No one is listening.
Everyone's busy with their own life, who would care about you? When it seems that i'm the only person who's concerned about other ppl's feelings when it comes to asking ppl out, when it comes to giving ppl what they wanted. For many a times I could have just said fuck it, I don't give a shit about how u'll feel if i dun ask you. But no, I actually gave a shit, so I actually asked you, only to realise that some things dun matter to you at all. For this, i'm actually speaking of a particular person, not naming names, but if she reads this, she'll probably know who she is. But yeah, whatever. So why did I care about how you would feel, when you didn't spare a thought for why I even bothered to ask you in the first place. Cuz i'm afraid you would feel left out? But nah, it didn't really matter to you.
Is it really a must to say out what we feel? good things or bad? If u can see it, you'll see it. If you can't you'll never see. So why shld I be the one saying the things to beautify the world, when if you already know hos good as a person you are, there is no need for complements. With that said, yes, i'm talking about another person now. When you really care, and ppl think you don't, that feeling actually sucks. So yeah, whatever. Why do I even care.
Sometimes, you just keep wondering about why certain things happen in life. Its okay if you know what went wrong. But if you didn't know what went wrong, then how do you deal with it? I still have no idea what the problem is. When we meet up, it actually feels normal, but deep down, I just know there's something wrong. What happened during the sem, I really want to know. But if you dun even want to talk, how do we even communicate?
Alot of things I can just let go, but I didn't. Cuz i always spare a thought for everyone else. But who actually gave a shit about me? Who actually cared. Those ppl, who said that they care, they're not here anymore. Any promise to be always there for me, there's only one thing that will stay always, and that is, they'll "always" be broken.... Always.
I'm just having a random title for this post cuz i can't really think of what i'm gonna say in the next few lines/paragraphs. Nothing much, just random stuff and some updates about life?
Intern started. Nothing much to say about that, just work work...and work. I guess having internet access really makes intern life much better? But I don't have that luxury, at all. So yeah, its kinda sucky nowadays. Doing work, work and just work.
Had dinner last night with the ese peeps. Not really into korean, so yeah, good meat, but really, not something that I would go back for. With that said, its kinda boring hearing them all talking about ese stuff, but as usual, i just tried to stay interested, sound interested and chip in with a few laughters here and there. But it was good company anyway, so yeah. Better than staying at home on a boring saturday night. I needed to get out and enjoy anyway.
Friday night was much more fun with the drinking and karaoke. Its only around these guys that I can be myself? Not giving a care about what's gonna happen if I do this or that, just thinking that nothing will go wrong. Being able to be oneself. Guess that's what i've always been searching for in my life. A place where I can be myself. I do miss secondary school days alot. It was when I felt I had everything. The degree of freedom back then was just right. Not too rigid, we still had some control over our life but there were people monitoring out progress so that we wun go wrong. Well, those were the days.
I always felt it wasn't right growing up. It seemed as though the older i grow, the number of ppl i can actually talk to about my stuff just dwindle down slowly. Back then, if I ever needed someone to talk to, i'll just go on msn. The first few ppl on my contact list would definitely be ppl that I could talk to. Now, I open up my msn, I don't even feel like talking. When you try so hard to talk to ppl, but they really dun care. Cuz someone like me just doesn't matter to anyone. I'm just, another person to everyone. In life, there are people who will be special to other people, people who you want to keep in life, for life. Well, for me, it seems as though i'm not any of these to anyone. To ppl, i'm just the kind of person that doesn't matter. I'm only there for as long as i'm useful. Once there's no use of me for anything, they kick me aside like as if its alright to hurt my feelings, as if its a given that I'll get back up and carry on walking. Yeah, I did get back up and carried on walking for alot of times already. But i'm just getting tired. Being able to get back up doesn't mean it does not hurt anymore. The pain always stays.
But no one cared.
No one is listening.
Everyone's busy with their own life, who would care about you? When it seems that i'm the only person who's concerned about other ppl's feelings when it comes to asking ppl out, when it comes to giving ppl what they wanted. For many a times I could have just said fuck it, I don't give a shit about how u'll feel if i dun ask you. But no, I actually gave a shit, so I actually asked you, only to realise that some things dun matter to you at all. For this, i'm actually speaking of a particular person, not naming names, but if she reads this, she'll probably know who she is. But yeah, whatever. So why did I care about how you would feel, when you didn't spare a thought for why I even bothered to ask you in the first place. Cuz i'm afraid you would feel left out? But nah, it didn't really matter to you.
Is it really a must to say out what we feel? good things or bad? If u can see it, you'll see it. If you can't you'll never see. So why shld I be the one saying the things to beautify the world, when if you already know hos good as a person you are, there is no need for complements. With that said, yes, i'm talking about another person now. When you really care, and ppl think you don't, that feeling actually sucks. So yeah, whatever. Why do I even care.
Sometimes, you just keep wondering about why certain things happen in life. Its okay if you know what went wrong. But if you didn't know what went wrong, then how do you deal with it? I still have no idea what the problem is. When we meet up, it actually feels normal, but deep down, I just know there's something wrong. What happened during the sem, I really want to know. But if you dun even want to talk, how do we even communicate?
Alot of things I can just let go, but I didn't. Cuz i always spare a thought for everyone else. But who actually gave a shit about me? Who actually cared. Those ppl, who said that they care, they're not here anymore. Any promise to be always there for me, there's only one thing that will stay always, and that is, they'll "always" be broken.... Always.
Friday, May 06, 2011
Last days of my holidays
Woohoo~ FINALLY~ this sem is over!!! finally can play every------
i wish i could complete that sentence, but sadly, with the end of the last paper, it signalled the start of a one week break before intern starts. And sadly, I haven't found the time to do the things I would have liked to.
Started off the first day of this short hols by going for a short run followed by gym, kinda strained my chest and shoulder muscles, so can't really feel them now. Barely able to type with my left arm. haha. After that went to watch thor. Call me a geek, i liked how the movies are all linking up to the Avengers movie. Saves alot of time and trouble for Avengers to explain wad's going on for the different characters, and probably not a need to tell us who the freak Loki is. hahaha. Natalie Portman is dope though. hahaha. Always enjoyed the movies with her in it. She seems to bring the characters alive? Though Jane Foster wasn't supposed to be this enthu when it comes to her love with Thor. O well.
Before that, I watched Barca vs Real, kinda expected result, and yeah, kinda boring too. haha, so nothing much to say about it.
Then started drawing some stuff also, random stuff.
Then went to USS today. The roller coaster rides were DAMN NICE~ haha, battlestar galatica is serious imba-ness. If anything, its the only ride that would make me wanna go back to RWS. but 50 bucks? hmmm, thanks but no thanks. haha.
Eh, anyways, some stuff, I've decided not to give a shit. I guess its better to leave it this way. Never expected anything, never will. This is all about giving life another go, allowing it to move on the way it should be. With that said, I'm surprised by how neutral I feel towards these kinda things now. Seems that such things wouldn't affect me as much as it used to. Guess it was just time that I needed, time to realise that hey, its not really that important. With or without, at least I had it once. So that's all to it. Don't wanna care about it anymore, and probably wun talk about it anymore. Maybe it'll allow me to become a less emo person? what is required wld come naturally. If it shuns you, its probably not what you need.
Then it comes back to the question of Needs vs Wants. And yeah, it has always been a want, it was never a need. How many single ppl out there, how many happy single ppl there are in this world. Why must I make myself the sad single guy when I can stay happy, away from all the troubles of a relationship, away from all the commitment required. Life's better when you have time all to yourself, without a need to accommodate someone else in your life.
Wanted to comment on the GE, but decided not to. Not as if my vote would affect much. Simply put, if there was a better choice, obviously I would take it. But when its a choice of choosing the lesser of two evils, it is obvious wad I would do, no?
i wish i could complete that sentence, but sadly, with the end of the last paper, it signalled the start of a one week break before intern starts. And sadly, I haven't found the time to do the things I would have liked to.
Started off the first day of this short hols by going for a short run followed by gym, kinda strained my chest and shoulder muscles, so can't really feel them now. Barely able to type with my left arm. haha. After that went to watch thor. Call me a geek, i liked how the movies are all linking up to the Avengers movie. Saves alot of time and trouble for Avengers to explain wad's going on for the different characters, and probably not a need to tell us who the freak Loki is. hahaha. Natalie Portman is dope though. hahaha. Always enjoyed the movies with her in it. She seems to bring the characters alive? Though Jane Foster wasn't supposed to be this enthu when it comes to her love with Thor. O well.
Before that, I watched Barca vs Real, kinda expected result, and yeah, kinda boring too. haha, so nothing much to say about it.
Then started drawing some stuff also, random stuff.
Then went to USS today. The roller coaster rides were DAMN NICE~ haha, battlestar galatica is serious imba-ness. If anything, its the only ride that would make me wanna go back to RWS. but 50 bucks? hmmm, thanks but no thanks. haha.
Eh, anyways, some stuff, I've decided not to give a shit. I guess its better to leave it this way. Never expected anything, never will. This is all about giving life another go, allowing it to move on the way it should be. With that said, I'm surprised by how neutral I feel towards these kinda things now. Seems that such things wouldn't affect me as much as it used to. Guess it was just time that I needed, time to realise that hey, its not really that important. With or without, at least I had it once. So that's all to it. Don't wanna care about it anymore, and probably wun talk about it anymore. Maybe it'll allow me to become a less emo person? what is required wld come naturally. If it shuns you, its probably not what you need.
Then it comes back to the question of Needs vs Wants. And yeah, it has always been a want, it was never a need. How many single ppl out there, how many happy single ppl there are in this world. Why must I make myself the sad single guy when I can stay happy, away from all the troubles of a relationship, away from all the commitment required. Life's better when you have time all to yourself, without a need to accommodate someone else in your life.
Wanted to comment on the GE, but decided not to. Not as if my vote would affect much. Simply put, if there was a better choice, obviously I would take it. But when its a choice of choosing the lesser of two evils, it is obvious wad I would do, no?
Monday, April 04, 2011
So...
What did I do the whole weekend? Nothing much really, just settled down and found some time to study and do some work, something that I've not been doing the whole sem. The whole sem, I've found myself spending too much time on the stupid circuit board, only for it to fail me time and time again, never got it started, never will, can't seem to find the problem. So that's it and that's that, not gonna do anything about it, just gonna concentrate on the other mods since exams are really getting nearer. No time to waste.
So basically, found myself in a situation where I just sat down and listened to webcasts and do tutorials. Quite rare. Also, perhaps all these came with the bloody decision to not give a bloody fuck about her anymore. You were precious, you still are, but I'm not going to tell you anymore. No point. To me, these feelings towards you never got over to you. You never knew how important you were to me. You'll never know. So really, I don't wanna care anymore. You are just another friend now, and I won't pay special attention to you anymore. You're not even a close friend to me anymore. Somehow, this distance between us has made this happen, for us to be further and further apart. 4 months, it was all it took to make us become what we are now. So fast, but, who are you? The friendship between us 4 months ago felt like it happened 10 years ago, precious memories, no more.
So basically, found myself in a situation where I just sat down and listened to webcasts and do tutorials. Quite rare. Also, perhaps all these came with the bloody decision to not give a bloody fuck about her anymore. You were precious, you still are, but I'm not going to tell you anymore. No point. To me, these feelings towards you never got over to you. You never knew how important you were to me. You'll never know. So really, I don't wanna care anymore. You are just another friend now, and I won't pay special attention to you anymore. You're not even a close friend to me anymore. Somehow, this distance between us has made this happen, for us to be further and further apart. 4 months, it was all it took to make us become what we are now. So fast, but, who are you? The friendship between us 4 months ago felt like it happened 10 years ago, precious memories, no more.
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