my story

tsk..looking back on my life..realised it's a failure..


from the start till now..i still think i've done nothing wrong to make my life go this way..it didn't fail becuz of wad i did..it failed becuz of wad others did to it..


p4..tot i cld be a prefect..thanks to the form tcher who promised to make me..that was the firz time my trust got betrayed..i didn't become one..promises broken..and i began to hate sch..even tchers can lie to students eh?sickening..


nvm..i got on with it..and went to rv..evrything went on well in sec1..havin fun with frens..juz that havin prob coping with studies..cuz new topics ma..sec2..where it all began..the pain..who would have guessed..i was juz liking someone..it's normal of a human to think that way..well..was lucky..got together..for like 9 months..evrything went on smoothly..till 3 days b4 vday in sec3..she said she want to be frens only..needing more time to study..needing more time for her leadership position..she feels stressed..so i said ok..and she said..we can still be together after we're done with studying..k..i believed..and we even promised each other we'll get to hc together..and so..we continued..even as frens only..but the treatment i gave to her..was still more than frenz..and she was fine with it..so it carried on..till sec4 vday..she told me she dun like the way things are..and actualli told me she didn't say anithing abt being together with me animore..wad can i say..heartbroken..yea..broken..the 3 yrs..all broken..broken promises..broken heart..wadeva..f off..i told the world..f off world..


of cuz..it didn't realli appear on my face..my sadness..acted as if i was fine..when the pain is still there..then came the light in my darkness..her smile..she always looked happy..and nvr once seemed sad to me..yea..u're rite..it's 6thMarch..she brightened up my day on cultural nite day2..she was so happy that nite..i oso dunno y..hyper gal..and i became enthu as well..laughing and tokking..as we took the bus back to sch..still remembered eugene sitting nxt to me..while she was on the opposite side..as in..u noe..eugene sitting inside..me outside..then to the left of me..it's her..with her cello..then eugene and i sang boyfriend..lol..so farni..but to think that she said it was nice..yea..was happy abt it la..then exchanged phone numbers on the bus oso..then went back to sch..while putting back the instru..she was waiting for another fren..then she kept on saying bye to me..haha..so fun..and i bye-ed back..and there we go..evrytime i pass by co room.she wld be standing there still waiting..then keep on bye-ing..cute yea..realli brightened up my nite..then realli bye le..but stil msged her while going home..realli..the way she tok..realli..will make me happy..and so..we became pa and nv-er lo..and so..evrytime after co..wld play bball together..of cuz got others la..fun..happy..and so..after one month..6thMarch..i told her..and yea..she accepted..that was the happiest day i wld say..of my life..cuz the way she accepted..so sweet..lol..i wun say it her..keep swt things to myself..=b..


evrything went on well..till one day..she asked me the same qsn the previous one asked me as well..that she wanted to concentrate on her studies firz..so mebbe juz be more than frens firz..after that..still can be together..and i thot..mebbe she wun be like last one..so i said ok..at least..she still behaved like more than frenz for a week or 2..but on 12thApril..she asked this qsn to me.."can we juz be frens"..wad can i say..can i say no?i realli dunno wad to say..so i said yes..but y..she didn't give a good explaination tho..till now..i still dun understand y..and so..i still think i've done nothing wrong..


and so..i heckx le..carried on with studies..with ppl i liked in between..but still..studies firz..and now..wad is this..even b4 i've told her..i alr sad le..if those b4 told me that it wasn't love..then i suppose love shld be selfish instead of being wei3 da4..this time round..i dun think i can tell her that i wldn't mind her being with others..as long as she's happy..no i can't..yea..if she's happy..i wld be happy for her..yet sad for myself..but i juz dunno wad to do..shld love be selfish?i juz dun wanna feel sad animore..that's y i keep procrastinating..not wanting to tell her..finding excuses for myself not to tell her..cuz i dun wanna be sad..i noe..it's 50:50..means there's an equal chance of being happy or sad..if it's happy..i wldn't mind..but i seriously dunno wad i wld do..if it's sad again..wad wld i do?mebbe i'll mug till i become siao4..and get some freaking great results for a's yet being sad of my life..


broken promises can make a life fail..