wadeva

wadeva..nothing is meaningful in life..when u realise..u have no where to go..not wanting to stay outside..not wanting to go home..no where to go..wad's wrong..meaningless..


carry on with this?i dunno..i dun gif a farking damn to my life animore..let it fail on..since it was made to fail..i dun c successes in my life..dun gif me the farking crap and say..hey..u have good grades ma..one thing that i was nvr happy in my life was my grades..this society..where grades juz matter so much to evryone..especially ur parents..and wad are my grades like..like shit i wld say..so wad if i'm a ten-pointer..and sounding better..a 6-pointer..but so?to me it's still shit..i dun like it..is this wad i get when i do my best?or perhaps i didn't do my best?but who cares..no one cares whether u've done ur best or wad..wad matters most is ur grades..as long as u have good farking grades..u can get wadeva u want..u can play no matter how long u wanna play..no one cares..so long as u have good grades..u can get any stupid farking job and no one cares whether u're good or evil by nature..so long as u have good cert..but wtf..like i gif a damn..


i'm juz a farking stoopid boy..who's pessimistic abt the future..esp my future..a life where there's no hope..hopeless..one day evryone will juz realise how i feel..or perhaps..not evryone..those that are lucky wun feel it..this is wad u get..when u from hopeful..drop to disappointment..dropped to hopeless..that is..in chinese han yu pin yin..xi1 wang4 dao4 shi1 wang4 dao4 jue2 wang4..


when u've lost something that u deemed impt in ur life..even if it's not realli that impt in ur life..u'll nvr noe whether it is..cuz u've alr lost it..and u have nothing to judge it's importance..wad if it's the most impt thing in ur life..yet..it's gone..no one noes..so mite as well think pessimistic..be sad..so that u wun be disappointed..no hopes..no disappointment..


well..not that i dun wanna be hopeful..ppl told be to look at the bright side..hey..is there a torch light or something?there is no "bright" side on this path that i'm taking..this path of darkness..perhaps there's light somewhere?juz that it's far away..but heckx..who wants to think abt the future..future will nvr come if u die now..so wad's the future..it's nothing..


life is but a spiral of events


a man's lifetime is 50 years. looking past it, everything is just but a dream. -Nobunaga Oda-


well..dunno whether that's realli wad he meant in english..but i juz directly translated it to english..lol..


life is a dream..but dreams are not real..so life is not real?


tell me..wad to do..i keep on drming abt u..when wld it stop..this is more than a stupid crush or infactuation le..it's more than like..closer to love than to like..but it's juz a one-sided love..to a point of no return..once i say it out..i guess we can't even be frenz..given the situation in which we are in now..all thanks to u..dao-ing me for 4 wks (till monday..if u still dao me..)..for no particular reason..i dunno y..but u juz decided to not tok to me?well..at least..u said a yep..but wad was that man?3 wks didn't tok and on msn u juz gave me a yep..k fine..if u're realli that bz..juz say so..i juz dun understand..y i am so devoted to a thing that i dun c any hope in..i noe my efforts wldn't pay off..but i'm still doing alot of things for u..behind u..caring for u without u noticing..u'll nvr noe..u'll nvr understand..


happiness is but a contrast of sadness..yet..when evrything feels sad..there is no happiness..-fallen reason-