second sad song from 斗牛·要不要. very nice. the whole ost actualli makes the show even better. HAHA. but damn sad la. hai. i only need one person to understand. but the one that understands how i'm feeling ain't the one that i want her to understand. ha. i guess a fren is always better than u. but u're the only one i want.
歌手：林宥嘉 歌曲：背影
三公分阳光 三公分空气
堵在眼前像一面玻璃
挡住了你表情
剩下只有脚印
一直向前走 走不完距离
一直向后 退不出回忆
很高兴有心事
帮我困住自己
你头发上淡淡青草香气
变成了风才能和我相遇
你的目光 蒸发成云
再下成雨我才能够靠近
感谢我不可以 住进你的眼睛
所以才能 拥抱你的背影
有再多的遗憾 用来牢牢记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以 拥抱你的背影
所以才能 变成你的背影
躲在安静角落 不用你回头看
不用珍惜
(躲在安静角落 如果你回头看
不用在意)
我怀里所有温暖的空气
变成风也不敢和你相遇
我的心事 蒸发成云
再下成雨却舍不得淋湿你
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
all of a sudden
all of a sudden, i dunno wad happened. a realisation? y do ppl only seriously tok to me when they need my help. when they want me to get something for them, when they got some prob with them and they noe i'm the only one who wun haf a prob with them. sacrificin myself for the happiness of others. wad's the point. ppl sad i go an1 wei4. but when i was sad, who was there for me. NO FUCKING PERSON! FUCK YOU! no, i'm jus pissed. i'm not a realli good person, i realli ain't a good guy. if i'm realli a good guy, ppl wun make use of me. ppl wun treat me as the almighty only when they have something they want from me. all those stuff for wad? i dun get it. did so many things that a simple thank you ain't enuff to cover up all those shit i've done in order to get u to jus say a THANK YOU? alrite, thanks. but that's not wad i realli needed. all i wanted was someone there. no one. and no one can ever feel how lonely i am. yea, wadeva. no matter how happy i might appear, well, i tell u the truth now, most of the time, say 75% of the time i wasn't. even if i was, when i look back at it, i wld juz think, shld i realli be happy abt all that? all these stuff, not even worth a single effort from me. but i still do, cuz i dun want anyone to be sad, except only for me? i care too much. that's the prob. care too much abt other ppl, ppl that no longer mattered in my life, yet i care. i'm juz that kinda person. 就算分手过或被拒绝过, 我还是希望妳们能够幸福快乐, 所以我不能不在乎妳们现在是否快乐. 已经付出的心是很难要回来的, 那份心意只是被时间与悲伤埋葬于心里深处. that's me, i jus can't dun care. but ain't that supposed to be liddat? when u like or love someone, ain't u juz supposed to wish for her happiness? even after they haf left u, wad u feel shld still be the same. want feel jealous? so be it. i dun think i'm wrong. doing all these jus show how these relationships mattered to me. but at the end of the day, you are the only one that realli matters, yet u're the one that doesn't even care. 3 words, enuff to say it all. I love u.
F O!
F O!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
鬥牛,要不要?
WAAhh! VERY NICE! 鬥牛.要不要! i think very nice. a little bit like why why love. but got a bit difference ba. this, alot more action. hahas. watch until like 3rd ep on youtube le. youtube only got up to 6th. hahas. the box come out i sure go buy. hahas. though the stunts they do very exaggerated but still nice. haha. BUT MOST LAME ONE IS! 一手双灌!!! very LAME! and i mean it! haha. i mean ya, got ppl can do it la. as in dunk with right hand, then after that while hanging, grab hold of the ball with the left hand and dunk with the left hand again! and that, is considered as 2 POINTS! woah! say i 井底之蛙 or wadeva, but this is the firz time i've seen such a thing. and they play bball dunnit to clear the ball de. got rebound, he wanna dunk. then kenna elbow. ball in mid air, suddenly got one guy from opposing team jump from behind dunk in. you call that a point meh? wierd la. taiwanese style? mebbe lo. haha. make me wanna play bball. and seriously very long nvr play le. =D
kk. F O!
kk. F O!
I am legend?
ZZZ. not a good movie. haha. ending quite lame. sorry to kyaw for not being able to get the tix. haiz. asked a fren help me go get the tix but she say she dun wanna go cine. so nvm lo. hmmm, taka to cine, ok la. quite far la. but if ppl ask me to i wun mind la. i guess diff ppl got diff degree of mafan. can't realli blame her too la. I NOT BLAMING ANYONE. just blaming myself for not being able to get tix for kyaw. but hey! i guess that was something right. kyaw dunnit spend some $9.50 on some so-so movie. i wld say 3.5 stars only.
xmas, not feeling that good. 3 guys, nothing to do, walk along orchard, squeezing thru the crowd of inconsiderate ppl that make me into an inconsiderate person. HA! but saw ppl i noe though. sunday nite saw pri sch fren charmaine who apparently didn't remember me so i didn't even bother to say hi. haha. then jus now saw yeling. haha. but was in a hurry to get back home so juz wave and she said hello then i zhao liao. i so dao. haha. nvm.
tml still needta book in check stores. waste of time. after that mebbe go get some stuff then go home le ba. i hate it when pub hols fall on tue. meaning chuangyi wun haf any publications for that week. CUZ IT'S PUBLIC HOLIDAYS AAANNNDDD PPL DUNNIT TO WORK!!! wadeva, why ppl dunnit to work i still needta go back camp! argh.
end of yr le. didn't feel much this yr. crappy yr i wld say. one more yr to ord. actualli less than a year. but this one yr is gonna feel so long. at least that's wad i think. hai. hang on ba. ORD le go look for job save up for some overseas trip. c whether ppl wanna go lo. ppl want go then GO LO!!! haha. F O!
xmas, not feeling that good. 3 guys, nothing to do, walk along orchard, squeezing thru the crowd of inconsiderate ppl that make me into an inconsiderate person. HA! but saw ppl i noe though. sunday nite saw pri sch fren charmaine who apparently didn't remember me so i didn't even bother to say hi. haha. then jus now saw yeling. haha. but was in a hurry to get back home so juz wave and she said hello then i zhao liao. i so dao. haha. nvm.
tml still needta book in check stores. waste of time. after that mebbe go get some stuff then go home le ba. i hate it when pub hols fall on tue. meaning chuangyi wun haf any publications for that week. CUZ IT'S PUBLIC HOLIDAYS AAANNNDDD PPL DUNNIT TO WORK!!! wadeva, why ppl dunnit to work i still needta go back camp! argh.
end of yr le. didn't feel much this yr. crappy yr i wld say. one more yr to ord. actualli less than a year. but this one yr is gonna feel so long. at least that's wad i think. hai. hang on ba. ORD le go look for job save up for some overseas trip. c whether ppl wanna go lo. ppl want go then GO LO!!! haha. F O!
Friday, December 07, 2007
ha
haven been going out recently. but this sat, hopefully evryone can make it! hopefully la. whole lot pang seh again i got nothing to say. most of the time they no time, but i think this wkend shld be ok ba. whole lot go eat and after that go roy's hse watch soccer. best. hahas.
very sian. like to play with words nowadays. tho not here but the previous post was obviously one. cuz it wasn't even meant to say anithing la. not even wad i realli feel. hahas. k la. that's it. F O!
very sian. like to play with words nowadays. tho not here but the previous post was obviously one. cuz it wasn't even meant to say anithing la. not even wad i realli feel. hahas. k la. that's it. F O!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
proof of existence
seems that being unable to run for the stand chart marathon really affected me alot. firz of all, i dun even noe why i was pulled out. perhaps the pc interview led to the decision of captain edward to pull me out. but hey! i juz mentioned that my knee sometimes hurt. well, for the training though, most of the time it seriously hurt and led to fall outs. but hey! wad were all those trainin for siah. not able to run, juz doesn't seem right. not fair? i dun even noe why i was pulled out. when i was pulled out. why i did all those training. no reason, not at all. i always thot this stand chart wld mean a hell lot to me. a chance to show myself that hey, i can do something. i can actually run 42km. well, if not run, at least walk, jog, run. but now, all that's gone! nxt year? wld i even haf the same drive i had when i decided not to pull out from the run when i had a chance to where captain edward asked us to write a 500 word essay if we wanna pull out. i doubt so. somemore, nxt yr, who noes wad's gonna happen to me. i'm startin to lose motivation in life. things have been going wrong, not the way i want i guess. trying to pull myself up. but hey! stop pushing me down! get it!? hell no! darn!
wad i've been tryin to do, seems to get me no results. the consequences, are juz dire. not the way i want it to be. you were all that i thot was meaningful in life, but hell no! i realised, you were but another person that's gonna juz leave a scar in me. it has not happened yet, but i guess it's gonna be soon. at least that's wad my experience's telling me. "trust no one but yourself". how true is that. and how true are you. YOU are but a passerby! i guess?
telling myself not to think too much, but wad the f use is that. no body gives a f damn abt wad u think. they juz carry on with their own world, carry on to do things that cld result in gd things for them. hell! wad the f do they think they're doing. and what the f am i doing, with the thot that hey! i'm doing this for you, so that u wld be happy! but guess wad? all these, at the expense of my own f happiness. then suddenly i realised, i might not be ur happiness. as least not the best for you. perhaps i do not deserve you. only the things i did made it seem like i deserve to haf u in my life. but hey! others can do that i guess? mebbe we're juz passerbys in each other's life.
I'M THINKING TOO MUCH! but i still wanna think.
i seriously dunno wad is goin on anymore. doin all these things, juz to see u dao-ing me for almost a week. hey! and guess wad? you said u were busy! alrite! fine! as if u're the only one who's BUSY!!! evryone's busy workin, and so BE IT! dammit. when i needed someone to tok to, u juz chose to slp! k fine! perhaps i shldn't be angry with u at all, u're not obliged to listen to me. you're you, i'm me. we were never we. GET IT!? and i guess it never will be! the finger was shown, the gates were open, the path was shown, the rings were thrown. we never were, and never will be, the ones that we thot we wld be.
eh? gettin poetic ain't i? kinda random. but whatever! i guess i'm juz pissed, depressed. press ctrl+z. undo, return back to square 1. i'm back where i was. whatever that describes, loneliness, anger, sadness. all that that feels dark, but not a single thing that shows me the light. i tend to forget what there is left to remember. and that is why, i chose to forget whatever that was happy. while this sadness is constant. even if i forget, it'll juz come back. we were once there, but all of these are juz memories now. memories of nobody.
argh! f it! juz hope that things will get better. and i guess i'll be workin on lyrics. seems that when i'm back to wad i was, the lyrics juz keep pourin in. guess that'll be wad it shall be for the nxt yr until i ord. till then, F O!
wad i've been tryin to do, seems to get me no results. the consequences, are juz dire. not the way i want it to be. you were all that i thot was meaningful in life, but hell no! i realised, you were but another person that's gonna juz leave a scar in me. it has not happened yet, but i guess it's gonna be soon. at least that's wad my experience's telling me. "trust no one but yourself". how true is that. and how true are you. YOU are but a passerby! i guess?
telling myself not to think too much, but wad the f use is that. no body gives a f damn abt wad u think. they juz carry on with their own world, carry on to do things that cld result in gd things for them. hell! wad the f do they think they're doing. and what the f am i doing, with the thot that hey! i'm doing this for you, so that u wld be happy! but guess wad? all these, at the expense of my own f happiness. then suddenly i realised, i might not be ur happiness. as least not the best for you. perhaps i do not deserve you. only the things i did made it seem like i deserve to haf u in my life. but hey! others can do that i guess? mebbe we're juz passerbys in each other's life.
I'M THINKING TOO MUCH! but i still wanna think.
i seriously dunno wad is goin on anymore. doin all these things, juz to see u dao-ing me for almost a week. hey! and guess wad? you said u were busy! alrite! fine! as if u're the only one who's BUSY!!! evryone's busy workin, and so BE IT! dammit. when i needed someone to tok to, u juz chose to slp! k fine! perhaps i shldn't be angry with u at all, u're not obliged to listen to me. you're you, i'm me. we were never we. GET IT!? and i guess it never will be! the finger was shown, the gates were open, the path was shown, the rings were thrown. we never were, and never will be, the ones that we thot we wld be.
eh? gettin poetic ain't i? kinda random. but whatever! i guess i'm juz pissed, depressed. press ctrl+z. undo, return back to square 1. i'm back where i was. whatever that describes, loneliness, anger, sadness. all that that feels dark, but not a single thing that shows me the light. i tend to forget what there is left to remember. and that is why, i chose to forget whatever that was happy. while this sadness is constant. even if i forget, it'll juz come back. we were once there, but all of these are juz memories now. memories of nobody.
argh! f it! juz hope that things will get better. and i guess i'll be workin on lyrics. seems that when i'm back to wad i was, the lyrics juz keep pourin in. guess that'll be wad it shall be for the nxt yr until i ord. till then, F O!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
impt things
i realised how impt certain things were, the way they were able to change my course of life. but it's too late.
aniwaes, i realised 3 songs in the new album that really reminds me of wad happened to me with 3 special ppl. one is 最长的电影, the other one is 彩虹, and last but not least, 我不配. as to who they remind me off, i shall not say. mebbe they'll understand, mebbe they'll not. but these 3 ppl were once impt to me. mebbe now, one of them still is. but i dunno how long that will last. or perhaps, all are still impt to me. i do not noe. state of confusion, back at square 1. that's all i can say. 多憔悴 而我心碎 妳受罪 妳的美 我不配. get it? nope, too bad. F O!
aniwaes, i realised 3 songs in the new album that really reminds me of wad happened to me with 3 special ppl. one is 最长的电影, the other one is 彩虹, and last but not least, 我不配. as to who they remind me off, i shall not say. mebbe they'll understand, mebbe they'll not. but these 3 ppl were once impt to me. mebbe now, one of them still is. but i dunno how long that will last. or perhaps, all are still impt to me. i do not noe. state of confusion, back at square 1. that's all i can say. 多憔悴 而我心碎 妳受罪 妳的美 我不配. get it? nope, too bad. F O!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
ASEAN SUMMIT
LOL! asean summit!!! zz. but i'm doing standby in camp. haiz, cannot go on site standby or go there see see. whatever lo, nvm. at least when i dun haf standby can go h0me for the whole afternoon, which is why i'm here blogging. zz.
standby still ok la, its either play xbox whole day or watch dvds whole day lo. watched a great bunch of movies already. lols. watched the korean comdedy "who slept with her" twice cuz we tot it was rather funny. and summore missed some parts when i watched the firz time. watched "curse of the golden flower". was like, erm, wad's the storyline? lols. the fighting scenes were good. the idea was there, but somehow it was lacking something, some substance, some storyline. aiya, alot of movies la. lol. tml go back watch, friday XBOX!!! then WKENDS!!! finally got some wkend to myself. stupid asean summit, and orderly duties burnt my wkends la! then nxt wk oso rather long wkend.
somehow, i dun think i'll ever find the courage to tell. see wad happens in the future lo. otherwise i mite not even take the next step. dunno la. see how lo. ha.
aniwaes, JAY'S new album is very, VERY, VERYVERY nice!!! lols. the whole album has been on my mp3 player repeating the whole day!!! lols. very very nice. 牛仔很忙, at firz listen, eh? abit strange leh. but listen longer, actualli quite nice. i mean the bg music la. 2nd song, 彩虹. great lyrics, nice music, tho it's from the secret sound track. mv oso nice! haha.
zz, i sian liaoz. dun feel like blogging le. ha. f o!
standby still ok la, its either play xbox whole day or watch dvds whole day lo. watched a great bunch of movies already. lols. watched the korean comdedy "who slept with her" twice cuz we tot it was rather funny. and summore missed some parts when i watched the firz time. watched "curse of the golden flower". was like, erm, wad's the storyline? lols. the fighting scenes were good. the idea was there, but somehow it was lacking something, some substance, some storyline. aiya, alot of movies la. lol. tml go back watch, friday XBOX!!! then WKENDS!!! finally got some wkend to myself. stupid asean summit, and orderly duties burnt my wkends la! then nxt wk oso rather long wkend.
somehow, i dun think i'll ever find the courage to tell. see wad happens in the future lo. otherwise i mite not even take the next step. dunno la. see how lo. ha.
aniwaes, JAY'S new album is very, VERY, VERYVERY nice!!! lols. the whole album has been on my mp3 player repeating the whole day!!! lols. very very nice. 牛仔很忙, at firz listen, eh? abit strange leh. but listen longer, actualli quite nice. i mean the bg music la. 2nd song, 彩虹. great lyrics, nice music, tho it's from the secret sound track. mv oso nice! haha.
zz, i sian liaoz. dun feel like blogging le. ha. f o!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
404 days to ord
zz. added a count down clock on my blog, at the director there. ha, thot it wld be fun, but in the end made me even more depressed. 404 days lehh!!! longer than a year. zzz, but nvm. at least gonna be a one yr soldier soon.
but sian, jay's album not out at sembawang music yet. preordered but they said nov 6 then come. but nvm, got a preview of the songs and the mvs. i think cai hong is realli nice, so i put it on the blog. then i oso realised, the songs, quite alot of the tunes are the ones he used in secret. and the soundtrack for secret is nice, so i can say this album is gonna be good. some songs still haven hear yet. hahas.
but sian, jay's album not out at sembawang music yet. preordered but they said nov 6 then come. but nvm, got a preview of the songs and the mvs. i think cai hong is realli nice, so i put it on the blog. then i oso realised, the songs, quite alot of the tunes are the ones he used in secret. and the soundtrack for secret is nice, so i can say this album is gonna be good. some songs still haven hear yet. hahas.
Monday, October 08, 2007
secret again
i watched secret a 2nd time. on dvd. my speaker spoilt, so had no choice but to watch on portable dvd player. so small, yet the movie is still nice. 2nd time le, many different feelings when u watch it again. paying attention to details that i didn't really notice when i watched it the firz time. those small little details that actualli hinted that xiao yu was not really from the present. that only jay cld c her. ha, duno y when firz time i watched it i nvr even tot abt it. but the ending part i still felt sad, when jay was playing secret to go back and see her. dunno, mebbe i was juz touched, by the fact that he cld actualli do something for the one he loves, at least something significant. which i can nvr do in real life.
my bday, hmmm, nothing significant as well. a day spent at home, tryin to get some rest. as borin as it has always been.
my bday, hmmm, nothing significant as well. a day spent at home, tryin to get some rest. as borin as it has always been.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
sad or happy
i noe i'll be hurt, but i still wanna hold on. so long u're happy, i'm fine with it. even tho i might not be the one happy, but at least i once tried for my own happiness.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
ff7 CC
omg, ff7 CC real nice. haven rly finish the game yet. guess i'm halfway thru, but my lvl is enuff to clear the rest of the game tho, if the forums are true. if ppl can beat at lvl 37 with normal materia, i guess my lvl 65 with hp +580% and str +40 wld be enuff to get me thru. but i wanna complete 100% at firz try. haha. and i saw the ending on u tube. wasn't as impressive as i tot it wld be tho. zack juz dies liddat? and a noob cloud juz staggers away with the buster sword. yes, at some point of time u'll feel like crying for zack, cuz afterall as u play thru the game, u'll get attached to zack cuz of his farni character. hmmm, but overall, not a real sad ending. and to those ppl out there who think that there'll be a ff7 remake or sequel to it. sry, i guess it ends here. the thing at the end, to be continued.. on final fantasy VII. it's juz telling you to go play the original game la. that the story is continued on final fantasy VII. not that there's gonna be a remake coming up on ps3. tho there are rumours abt endless crisis on ps3, but up till now, Tokyo Games Show still does not have any latest info on that rumoured ff7 title. seriously i hope it wun end here. that there wld be a remake that actualli links up cc and original ff7. cuz i still dun get it why cloud actualli thot of himself as zack, a firz class soldier. yes, it's the mako energy. but how the heck. and why is cloud so strong in ff7. lols. ok, i'm too into the game le. lol.
aiya, i oso dunno wad to do now. perhaps i tot too much. looking too deep into things. in the end i'm still back at square 1, that is to believe in myself, believe tt i'm the only one who can do this. the only one that can make her happy. and at least thinking liddat, i wun be tt stressed up. omg, pls dun look too much into certain things, dun think too much and evrything wld be juz fine, hopefully.
my goals are becoming much more simpler. perhaps u haf made me into wad i am now. u changed the way i look at life. to live life happy. i wanna be like u, to be happy. and i want u to stay happy. i dun wanna c u sad, i dun wanna c a single emo blog post on ur blog animore. all i want is to see that smile on ur blog, tt's good enuff for me. as long as u're happy. i dun expect u to c how much effort i've put in for u. i want u to find it out urself. if u're not able to c it, then nvm. but at least i hope that u feel that there's someone out there who's constantly trying to make u happy. i will not stop trying. n i promise i'll be there for u, always. even if u do not do the same to u, it's juz wad i wanna do for u.
Friday, September 21, 2007
omg
for a moment, dunno y, my heart juz stopped. felt hot, then suddenly cold again. a sudden surge of happiness, mixed with sadness, blasted with excitement. dunno, suddenly, juz felt so, so, dunno howta describe. surprised? when unexpected things happen, i juz get stunned. hmmm, but i dun wanna put my expectations high. the higher they get, the worse the disappointment wld be if there were to be one. like wad 童嘉蒂 said, 希望越大, 失望就越深, 所以我宁可不要抱有任何希望, 这样至少不会受伤.
well, with that said, though it included some of my own feelings in it. i mean, all of it weren't wad she said. some things added la. so, in conclusion, i guess i shld juz let things go naturally. juz treat it normally, not to haf any expectations, or to tell myself cannot make it. juz let it happen.
nothing much to say
i dunno wad to say, only these words cld describe my feelings then.
看到你, 我竟然忘了怎样呼吸, 甚至忘了怎样跟你说话, 忘了我想要说的一切.
i dunno wad to say, rly dunno. y up till now, still liddat. and only one person can make me feel this way, y? tell me why.
Monday, September 10, 2007
PASSED
i passed my drivin test! firz attempt!! haha. very shiok now, evryday half day. hopefully la. then gd news that my sir gave us off on 21st. haha, at least dunnit rush back to camp on thur nite. happy happy. nearly failed the test tho. cuz i go quarrel with the tester. but the tester gd guy. and i was saying in a jokingly manner too. so no prob la. HAHA!! shiok laaaaaaa. happy happy happy now!
Friday, September 07, 2007
wad happened?
hmm. wad's happening to me? a change of perception perhaps? now to me, i juz wanna live a simple life. that million dollars doesn't seem that impt to me anymore. yes, it's a great goal to look forward to, to work towards. but, i juz want a simple life. dunno y. i guess it has its pros and cons. wad i want now, is juz, to set up a small, simple shop. dunno y. ha. doesn't need to earn much money. juz enuff to support me and my future family. ice cream? not a bad idea. but dunno howta make. can sell anithing. juz wanna spend time with her. i dun want a busy life, i juz want her in my life. fill up the pages, wun u? i hope u will.
argh. doesn't matter. i juz wanna be simple.
argh. doesn't matter. i juz wanna be simple.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
perfect irony
wad irony. my instructor kip saying i very careless when i drive, that's y i fail hsp and parking. WTF la. i fail parkin cuz i too careful k? WADEVA! my carelessness in drivin has nothing to do with my failure in parkin. wad the heck la. kip comin down to chck, u call that careless? i call that TOO CAREFUL!!! CAFU!!! ZzZz
sometimes putting in 100% effort doesn't mean u'll get wadeva u want. puttin in too much effort doesn't help either. to me, u're impt, but to u, i might not be. wad i wish, is for us to use the word "we" instead of " u and i". to be part of each other's life. for us to fill each and evry chapter of our life. to share the same story for the rest of our life, till afterlife, if there is.
i can't stop thinking. thinking abt u.
sometimes putting in 100% effort doesn't mean u'll get wadeva u want. puttin in too much effort doesn't help either. to me, u're impt, but to u, i might not be. wad i wish, is for us to use the word "we" instead of " u and i". to be part of each other's life. for us to fill each and evry chapter of our life. to share the same story for the rest of our life, till afterlife, if there is.
i can't stop thinking. thinking abt u.
Friday, August 31, 2007
f up
very long since i've felt so f-up le. i tot my hsp can pass de. but dunno y, go in, straightaway mind block. but i noe it's not becuz i didn't stay back yest nite. even if i stayed back last nite, i wld be too tired to even absorb anithing from wad the theory instructor wld haf taught. then farkin hell. go drivin, make some mistake. instructor nag like dunno wad. say wad if i keep doing this, hsp retest still will fail. WTF. nvr been so farkin pissed for a long time le. realli made me wanna scold f words. tt's y this entry kinda vulgar.
wad u mean i didn't put in effort. okay, mebbe I DIDN'T alrite! f la. u dun expect me to put in effort after so many things haf happened in my life. doin things 100% and get no return. fug la. do so much for wad. i tried to put in effort. do good, u nvr say anithing. accidentally cock up u keep lecturing. CCB!! fug la. i needta slp.
wad u mean i didn't put in effort. okay, mebbe I DIDN'T alrite! f la. u dun expect me to put in effort after so many things haf happened in my life. doin things 100% and get no return. fug la. do so much for wad. i tried to put in effort. do good, u nvr say anithing. accidentally cock up u keep lecturing. CCB!! fug la. i needta slp.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
plain happy
ha. i guess i'm juz happy now. hmmm. mebbe not. juz that i'm not sad. i guess u can call that "happy". or mebbe i'm juz not feeling the sadness. can say, my feelings are neutral now. not sad, and mebbe a little bit towards happy. ha. and i wanna learn h0wta make cookies!!! lol. see how lo. ha. i think i shld lie low a little bit. dun be so concerned for a while. cuz i think i showed too much care. ha. let's c.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
lost
i seem to be lost. at a loss. even as of now, i do not noe or even not sure wad i'm typing. but i juz feel like putting my feelings down. i haf no idea wad's going on now. seems like ppl are keeping a big secret from me. not ppl inside camp, but rather ppl outside. no matter how much i msg, they juz dun seem to reply. i dun even noe wad i haf done to deserve this kinda daoness. i do not noe. and i wanna noe, cuz i simply care. but i can't, i simply can't (adapted from the simpsons).
i dun even noe wad i'm writin on my note book. lyrics, without any tune in my head. lyrics without a tune is not a song. juz like a body without the soul and heart is not a human. ok, mebbe that's a bad analogy. i dunno. i dunno wad i'm thinking. or rather, it's confusing me. i dunno wad's happening. someone tell me. i dunno, i simply dunno.
is it so hard, to get a return for a 100% effort put in? that's the diff between life and games. in games, especially rpg games, u put in 100% effort, u'll definitely get to see results. but in life, that's not the case. at least not always for me. in fact, not at all. i've nvr seen good results for my 100%. wad's the point. i'm tired already. constantly putting in 100% for evrything. pouring my heart out. i'm juz dying, slowly. my feelings, getting numb. i dun feel like tokkin anymore. i'm juz tired. my soul, it's kinda dry. nothing can heal it anymore. evrything is aching. my arms, my leg, my body, my soul. My heart. heal me. nothing can, i guess.
all i see is lameness. i appreciate the efforts ppl put in to try to make me feel better. but sry, i'm kinda numb to those advice. rather i find it not useful at all, cuz it's all the same. sry to those ppl. but ur advice are always like, "cheer up, things might not be as bad as u think". all these dumb things. no use, no use at all. cuz it nvr realli helped. but i still muz thank those who did try. but no effort can heal me anymore. but kinda farni of me. i actualli asked the one who firz broke my heart for advice. but nvm, i kinda got over her actualli. my heart now is juz full of the one who's juz ignoring me now. i, i, i, i dunno wad to say.
i like you. is it that simply so hard to come out of my mouth. or izzit wrong of me to wait for u. i wanted to wait, till u're free and ez, to think of relationship in a more relaxed way. not when u're stressed up. but now, i dunno wad to say. i realli, i'm lost. i'm realli lost.
i dun even noe wad i'm writin on my note book. lyrics, without any tune in my head. lyrics without a tune is not a song. juz like a body without the soul and heart is not a human. ok, mebbe that's a bad analogy. i dunno. i dunno wad i'm thinking. or rather, it's confusing me. i dunno wad's happening. someone tell me. i dunno, i simply dunno.
is it so hard, to get a return for a 100% effort put in? that's the diff between life and games. in games, especially rpg games, u put in 100% effort, u'll definitely get to see results. but in life, that's not the case. at least not always for me. in fact, not at all. i've nvr seen good results for my 100%. wad's the point. i'm tired already. constantly putting in 100% for evrything. pouring my heart out. i'm juz dying, slowly. my feelings, getting numb. i dun feel like tokkin anymore. i'm juz tired. my soul, it's kinda dry. nothing can heal it anymore. evrything is aching. my arms, my leg, my body, my soul. My heart. heal me. nothing can, i guess.
all i see is lameness. i appreciate the efforts ppl put in to try to make me feel better. but sry, i'm kinda numb to those advice. rather i find it not useful at all, cuz it's all the same. sry to those ppl. but ur advice are always like, "cheer up, things might not be as bad as u think". all these dumb things. no use, no use at all. cuz it nvr realli helped. but i still muz thank those who did try. but no effort can heal me anymore. but kinda farni of me. i actualli asked the one who firz broke my heart for advice. but nvm, i kinda got over her actualli. my heart now is juz full of the one who's juz ignoring me now. i, i, i, i dunno wad to say.
i like you. is it that simply so hard to come out of my mouth. or izzit wrong of me to wait for u. i wanted to wait, till u're free and ez, to think of relationship in a more relaxed way. not when u're stressed up. but now, i dunno wad to say. i realli, i'm lost. i'm realli lost.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
secret
woah! nice movie, tho the ending abit wierd. and indeed, got quite a number of loopholes. i wonder y, ain't it supposed to be only he can see her if she sees him firz. but durin the piano contest, y, when he was able to see him, even the sky cld oso see her and ask her, ain't he cute. hmmm, mebbe she didn't see him firz that day. haha. dunno la. want watch again. nice. but the ending is quite abrupt. and i dunno y, when i saw the things she wrote on the score, made me feel like crying. hmmm, then see the father run oso quite sad. EMO. dots. but it's also kinda wierd, how come he went back to the time when she was still alive. the twist actually made me thot that it was a ghost story, and kinda ridiculous. but in the end, woah! actualli kinda cool, kinda like a twist in a twist.
well, dunno y, but i juz dunno howta speak up. mouth inside got gold liddat. cannot open. some things, i oso dunno wad to say. hmmm, mebbe i was expected to say, ya, they're pretty, but u're not bad too. ha, that was wad i wanted to say, but can't. some things, juz can't be said. i dunno la, but was kinda happy? i realli dunno. i very tired today liaoz. ha, wanna slp le.
well, dunno y, but i juz dunno howta speak up. mouth inside got gold liddat. cannot open. some things, i oso dunno wad to say. hmmm, mebbe i was expected to say, ya, they're pretty, but u're not bad too. ha, that was wad i wanted to say, but can't. some things, juz can't be said. i dunno la, but was kinda happy? i realli dunno. i very tired today liaoz. ha, wanna slp le.
Friday, August 10, 2007
too ez?
it gets kinda worrying when things go too ez. cuz u dunno wad'll happen nxt. can help but get worried, but hopefully nothing goes wrong, cuz i guess, to me, this thing is realli impt.
yay. gonna watch secret on sun lo. hope it wld be nice, 4 star movie lo. but sian, after that muz book in. so so so tired le still muz book in. then do wad post ndp store recovery. kaoz la. after ndp le still got so many things to do.
siaN. hopin sun wld come soon but becuz of the book-in, juz makes me not look forward to sun. BUT i want watch movie!!!hahaha. cuz very long nvr watch this kinda movie abt love le.
yay. gonna watch secret on sun lo. hope it wld be nice, 4 star movie lo. but sian, after that muz book in. so so so tired le still muz book in. then do wad post ndp store recovery. kaoz la. after ndp le still got so many things to do.
siaN. hopin sun wld come soon but becuz of the book-in, juz makes me not look forward to sun. BUT i want watch movie!!!hahaha. cuz very long nvr watch this kinda movie abt love le.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
thx and wad
being dead doesn't mean i'm not around,
death does not bring about loneliness,
death is not due to weakness,
being dead doesn't mean people will start missing you,
being dead, just leaves you thinking.
nothing much. mebbe i'm juz emo. juz something i came about while thinking abt stupid stuff. but aniwaes, seriously, i dun c death as a method of escaping the present. being dead doesn't mean ppl will necessary start thinking of you, and regretting that they didn't treat u nicely. there might be a slight possibility, but soon after, ppl will juz return to their normal lives. and to them, the dead is juz the past. cuz to humans, only the future matters. i've forgotten about the past, but my future? izzit bright? i do not noe. but i noe that there are ppl out there trying to plunge my life back into darkness. but there are ppl who bring me light, showing me the right way.
i'm glad u came. seeing you kinda surprised me. that u're there when i needed someone to tok to. that u cared. that u came. that u chose to stay. that u're by my side now. i thank you. a fren in need is a fren indeed.
i've been reading books from anne rice abt vampires. but the story doesn't realli tok much abt vampires, but rather the life of these vampires before they became humans. includes some interesting history which i can't be bothered to check on, but i choose to list them under fiction till i can be bothered to verify. nonetheless, the books are still nice. language used, the words used, realli good.
ok, last but not least. i realli hope something good will turn out of this relationship, or rather, this thing that i realli hope i can be able to cling on forever. the signs are not exactly good, but i wld say it's not bad either. one day i'll juz say it. it's after this yr's a's or after their prelims. somethings muz be said, muz be done. or for now, at least, i guess whoever reads this, will not actualli guess the person i'm talkin abt. but who cares, i guess nobody reads this aniwaes. cuz there's not even a single tag on my "c" box. if c is for communication, obviously it's not servin it's purpose. same goes to it if it is for chatter. if it's for cheer, obviously, it's not doing it's job. so i dun realli see the purpose of the tag board. unless, YOU who is reading this now, for my sake, pls TAG!!! haha, i'm getting kinda emo here.
but i guess i'm not realli a person that can make someone happy, cuz i obviously dunno howta make ppl tell me their probs, so at least i can help them with it. i realli wanna help, but the situation doesn't allow me to. and i realli seriously hope they are happy.
death does not bring about loneliness,
death is not due to weakness,
being dead doesn't mean people will start missing you,
being dead, just leaves you thinking.
nothing much. mebbe i'm juz emo. juz something i came about while thinking abt stupid stuff. but aniwaes, seriously, i dun c death as a method of escaping the present. being dead doesn't mean ppl will necessary start thinking of you, and regretting that they didn't treat u nicely. there might be a slight possibility, but soon after, ppl will juz return to their normal lives. and to them, the dead is juz the past. cuz to humans, only the future matters. i've forgotten about the past, but my future? izzit bright? i do not noe. but i noe that there are ppl out there trying to plunge my life back into darkness. but there are ppl who bring me light, showing me the right way.
i'm glad u came. seeing you kinda surprised me. that u're there when i needed someone to tok to. that u cared. that u came. that u chose to stay. that u're by my side now. i thank you. a fren in need is a fren indeed.
i've been reading books from anne rice abt vampires. but the story doesn't realli tok much abt vampires, but rather the life of these vampires before they became humans. includes some interesting history which i can't be bothered to check on, but i choose to list them under fiction till i can be bothered to verify. nonetheless, the books are still nice. language used, the words used, realli good.
ok, last but not least. i realli hope something good will turn out of this relationship, or rather, this thing that i realli hope i can be able to cling on forever. the signs are not exactly good, but i wld say it's not bad either. one day i'll juz say it. it's after this yr's a's or after their prelims. somethings muz be said, muz be done. or for now, at least, i guess whoever reads this, will not actualli guess the person i'm talkin abt. but who cares, i guess nobody reads this aniwaes. cuz there's not even a single tag on my "c" box. if c is for communication, obviously it's not servin it's purpose. same goes to it if it is for chatter. if it's for cheer, obviously, it's not doing it's job. so i dun realli see the purpose of the tag board. unless, YOU who is reading this now, for my sake, pls TAG!!! haha, i'm getting kinda emo here.
but i guess i'm not realli a person that can make someone happy, cuz i obviously dunno howta make ppl tell me their probs, so at least i can help them with it. i realli wanna help, but the situation doesn't allow me to. and i realli seriously hope they are happy.
Friday, July 20, 2007
hahaha
haha. wrote 5 songs in 4 days. dunno y, but seems that i realli felt bored these few days. perhaps becuz there were less messages to reply. i dunno, but for wed and thur was realli feeling down. felt like givin up, but something juz told me to cling on. so i did. fri, at least got reply, but still nt very happy. but today ate alot, cuz went to, hmmm. kushin bo? dunno howta spell. but wadeva. juz ate alot lo. buffet ma, so juz take eat eat take. haha, but dun think i going again for any buffets in quite a while. i realised my ability to eat more than i pay has gone down. today payed 40 plus? but i guessed i only ate 30+ worth of food. HIAKX. but nvm.
hmmm, i hope i can feel happy real soon. but at least i noe the dao-ness has not realli set in yet, so i guess shld be rather, erm, happy abt it? at least not all hope is gone. argh, wadeva la. wait and c i told myself. and that was wad my new 5 songs were all about. i mean almost all la. all meant for me to wait and see. and all 5 songs had a kinda comment after writing the song, about wad i was realli thinking when i was writing it. kinda makes me remember the tune i had for those lyrics, so will put it down on the songs blog ba. so look out for it!!!haha
ahhh, tml ndp support. i'm so tired alr, after the 10km run today. stupid me, go chiong last 1km. cuz i overtook sgt tt, then since pc4 and s2 were infront, so i juz chiong lo. overtook them then was thinking, since overtook le, might as well go all the way back, dun slow down. argh. dumb me la. in the end so tired. and i think my timing sux, 55 mins. but i seriously hope i can finish ahm in 2 hrs. 3 days OFF!!! then can relax myself. hiakx. after that is ippt pass by september. hope i can make it. and hopefully our sbj regime doesn't fail me. at least now the chin-up regime is not as tough as b4. only do max. and argh! sgt neo, still say wad ippt circuit trainin he'll juz make us do ranger jump for the whole session cuz we only fail sbj. alrite lo. but my chin-up, hmmm, after the chin-up regime, my max dropped from 6 to 4 again. argh, is that a sign of degredation or izzit a hope of improvement. but nonetheless, i'll still try my best. the cbre badge is not there for nothing. and ya, marcus cheng is cbrd oct. haha, hope he commissioned le become my pc!!! XP then it'll be fun. haha. and jeep course is in sept. looking forward to it. =D
hmmm, i hope i can feel happy real soon. but at least i noe the dao-ness has not realli set in yet, so i guess shld be rather, erm, happy abt it? at least not all hope is gone. argh, wadeva la. wait and c i told myself. and that was wad my new 5 songs were all about. i mean almost all la. all meant for me to wait and see. and all 5 songs had a kinda comment after writing the song, about wad i was realli thinking when i was writing it. kinda makes me remember the tune i had for those lyrics, so will put it down on the songs blog ba. so look out for it!!!haha
ahhh, tml ndp support. i'm so tired alr, after the 10km run today. stupid me, go chiong last 1km. cuz i overtook sgt tt, then since pc4 and s2 were infront, so i juz chiong lo. overtook them then was thinking, since overtook le, might as well go all the way back, dun slow down. argh. dumb me la. in the end so tired. and i think my timing sux, 55 mins. but i seriously hope i can finish ahm in 2 hrs. 3 days OFF!!! then can relax myself. hiakx. after that is ippt pass by september. hope i can make it. and hopefully our sbj regime doesn't fail me. at least now the chin-up regime is not as tough as b4. only do max. and argh! sgt neo, still say wad ippt circuit trainin he'll juz make us do ranger jump for the whole session cuz we only fail sbj. alrite lo. but my chin-up, hmmm, after the chin-up regime, my max dropped from 6 to 4 again. argh, is that a sign of degredation or izzit a hope of improvement. but nonetheless, i'll still try my best. the cbre badge is not there for nothing. and ya, marcus cheng is cbrd oct. haha, hope he commissioned le become my pc!!! XP then it'll be fun. haha. and jeep course is in sept. looking forward to it. =D
Sunday, July 15, 2007
hai
o dear, i'm so tired now. after all the ndp and stuff that has been going thru this week, i'm already physically and mentally exhausted. some stuff, gone. some things, learnt. some things, i'll treasure even more. well, for that, i'll start all the way from wad happened on book out day. wadeva happened on 11th July, i'll add on later. but firz of all, i muz thank mr yeo, for his patience with us, and sry for we've not learnt to treasure him.
well, perhaps to make this entry not as sad as others i've seen, i shall start on a lighter note.
on fri, after a tiring ndp support and 10km run in the morning, which included carrying bread (2 trucks of them), ice (200 packets) and some yeos drinks and new water (when i say some, it's actually like hmmm 100+? 200+? dun realli noe, lost count). but aniwaes, after that, went to marina square walk walk abit then go west mall le. realli didn't feel like going cuz realli tired le. but since i promised jialin i'm going to lend her the vcd, so cannot pang seh ppl lo. go down there, she not ther yet, so juz walk arnd. saw lotsa stuff, cool, interesting? dunno, but suddenly feel like getting a ps3 cuz of the interesting games i saw. went to pop, saw this real nice book that was about cats. small, but quite thick and included lotsa pictures of cats. the thing that it is in cube form. the most amazing thing, it costs 17.90. alrite, then she came, so i gave, too tired, didn't say anithing, say bye, she goes (but one thing i noticed. jialin, u have quite alot of pimples wor, haha, too stressed?). simple. then i went arnd to library and some other places before going home. was real tired le, but still had one last place muz go b4 going home to slp. so i juz went home, put down bag, slack arnd for a while then gone out le.
alrite, a little bit rewind. on july 11, mr yeo, who was my conductor in sajc chinese orchestra, passed away.
ok, back to the earlier part. went down to lakeside, no one there yet. so bought a coffee and drink, my fav mocha. that was my hmmm, third for the day? alrite, then came ignatius. almost didn't recognise him, guess i pon too much co in j1 le. then i saw chengzhi. hmmm, this part i kinda confused, can't realli rmm who i saw firz. and i think i'm breakin this entry into too much detail, but i shall carry on. then saw sinyi. then came, i think marcus, a senior who i duno realli noe, cuz as i've said, pon too much j1. next came lucinda, and as blur as before, she was having a hard time trying to remember all our names. but that was realli funny and rather cute (side track liaoz). k then alot of other ppl came, like weelong, peyling, aaron, shiyan, bernice, etc. i only wrote down those names that i can remember, or rather i noe. this juz shows how much co i've missed in j1.
then went to the wake. the moment i stepped in, suddenly felt a sense of grief, dunno y. juz felt sad. then as the thing goes on, there was this part where someone sang a song written by mr yeo. the lyrics, dunno y, it's kinda sad, but its oso like someone who has seen thru life. i dunno, but at least that's what i think.
then went home, can't slp, mainly becuz of the coffee, and some other stuff i can't stop thinking about.
firz of all, i realised, which i have realised long ago, but now shall comment on it again. life is really full of sudden things, things can juz happen without u expecting it. wad happened to mr yeo was one of it. hearing kenneth saying that 3 wks ago he was still tokking to mr yeo on the phone, and mr yeo said he's better, but yet, 3 wks later, he's juz gone. it realli saddened me. things can juz happen liddat. no expectations of wad's gonna happen. poof, some things are juz gone like taht. treasure things, i muz, and i've learnt that long ago, but it's seriously hard to practice. cuz, i guess it's men's instinct, to take things for granted.
so i've decided, some things muz be said b4 it's too late, cuz u dunno wad's gonna happen nxt. but i dunno when i shld tell, izzit time yet? i dunno. i hope u can tell me. like wad someone has said, mebbe u're juz pretending, that u do not noe how i feel, but i realli dunno. but i dun wanna wait le. but i oso think that it's not time yet. in a dilema (if that's how u spell it)
ok, guess i'll juz stop here, tho i think still got alot of things haven say yet, but i'm too tired now. but i still can't slp, but i can't think as well!!!too much coffee.
well, perhaps to make this entry not as sad as others i've seen, i shall start on a lighter note.
on fri, after a tiring ndp support and 10km run in the morning, which included carrying bread (2 trucks of them), ice (200 packets) and some yeos drinks and new water (when i say some, it's actually like hmmm 100+? 200+? dun realli noe, lost count). but aniwaes, after that, went to marina square walk walk abit then go west mall le. realli didn't feel like going cuz realli tired le. but since i promised jialin i'm going to lend her the vcd, so cannot pang seh ppl lo. go down there, she not ther yet, so juz walk arnd. saw lotsa stuff, cool, interesting? dunno, but suddenly feel like getting a ps3 cuz of the interesting games i saw. went to pop, saw this real nice book that was about cats. small, but quite thick and included lotsa pictures of cats. the thing that it is in cube form. the most amazing thing, it costs 17.90. alrite, then she came, so i gave, too tired, didn't say anithing, say bye, she goes (but one thing i noticed. jialin, u have quite alot of pimples wor, haha, too stressed?). simple. then i went arnd to library and some other places before going home. was real tired le, but still had one last place muz go b4 going home to slp. so i juz went home, put down bag, slack arnd for a while then gone out le.
alrite, a little bit rewind. on july 11, mr yeo, who was my conductor in sajc chinese orchestra, passed away.
ok, back to the earlier part. went down to lakeside, no one there yet. so bought a coffee and drink, my fav mocha. that was my hmmm, third for the day? alrite, then came ignatius. almost didn't recognise him, guess i pon too much co in j1 le. then i saw chengzhi. hmmm, this part i kinda confused, can't realli rmm who i saw firz. and i think i'm breakin this entry into too much detail, but i shall carry on. then saw sinyi. then came, i think marcus, a senior who i duno realli noe, cuz as i've said, pon too much j1. next came lucinda, and as blur as before, she was having a hard time trying to remember all our names. but that was realli funny and rather cute (side track liaoz). k then alot of other ppl came, like weelong, peyling, aaron, shiyan, bernice, etc. i only wrote down those names that i can remember, or rather i noe. this juz shows how much co i've missed in j1.
then went to the wake. the moment i stepped in, suddenly felt a sense of grief, dunno y. juz felt sad. then as the thing goes on, there was this part where someone sang a song written by mr yeo. the lyrics, dunno y, it's kinda sad, but its oso like someone who has seen thru life. i dunno, but at least that's what i think.
then went home, can't slp, mainly becuz of the coffee, and some other stuff i can't stop thinking about.
firz of all, i realised, which i have realised long ago, but now shall comment on it again. life is really full of sudden things, things can juz happen without u expecting it. wad happened to mr yeo was one of it. hearing kenneth saying that 3 wks ago he was still tokking to mr yeo on the phone, and mr yeo said he's better, but yet, 3 wks later, he's juz gone. it realli saddened me. things can juz happen liddat. no expectations of wad's gonna happen. poof, some things are juz gone like taht. treasure things, i muz, and i've learnt that long ago, but it's seriously hard to practice. cuz, i guess it's men's instinct, to take things for granted.
so i've decided, some things muz be said b4 it's too late, cuz u dunno wad's gonna happen nxt. but i dunno when i shld tell, izzit time yet? i dunno. i hope u can tell me. like wad someone has said, mebbe u're juz pretending, that u do not noe how i feel, but i realli dunno. but i dun wanna wait le. but i oso think that it's not time yet. in a dilema (if that's how u spell it)
ok, guess i'll juz stop here, tho i think still got alot of things haven say yet, but i'm too tired now. but i still can't slp, but i can't think as well!!!too much coffee.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
new song by jay~
a song by jay for his latest movie, 不能說的秘密. quite a diff style frm his previous songs, but nonetheless, it's still nice. haha, but i'll put back tui4 hou4 soon. haha, cuz tui4 hou4 seems better, after listening to it like a million times, cuz of that stupid bug on my com the other day. haha.
the mv for this song oso quite nice. can go visit at youtube : http://youtube.com/watch?v=C6dO6hCunTA&mode=related&search
ha. bookin in today lo. sian sian, dunno why but i oso addicted to why why love liaoz. argh. i tot i wldn't like to watch drama le, but nvm, seems that this show is nice. thx to jialin. argh.
aniwaes, 不能說的秘密 is real nice. realli like it siah. can't wait for movie to come out. august i think, nvm. can wait. and the new song i'm writin is on hold currently. ran out of ideas. actualli shld say, too many tunes coming to my head for the same lyrics. hmm. hiakX. wait ba wait, i'll get it done soon, hopefully. wait for the best tune to come to my mind firz. haha. aniwaes, realised the song on my blog sounds a bit too, erm, digitalised?if that's how u spell it. but nvm, nice then can le. ha.
my love for sad songs is gonna kill me one day, too much sadness, but i still like them. but pls, to all out there, love sad songs only becuz u feel sad abt the song, not becuz it makes you happy (which i dunno how a sad song can make someone happy). sad songs, are meant to be sad. being happy abt it is juz an insult to the writer who meant for it to be sad. ok, i guess i sounded too offensive. but pls look at songs in the right way they were supposed to be looked at.
pls tell me i'm not wrong about this, that one day, we'll eventually find ourselves on the same path in each other's life.
the mv for this song oso quite nice. can go visit at youtube : http://youtube.com/watch?v=C6dO6hCunTA&mode=related&search
ha. bookin in today lo. sian sian, dunno why but i oso addicted to why why love liaoz. argh. i tot i wldn't like to watch drama le, but nvm, seems that this show is nice. thx to jialin. argh.
aniwaes, 不能說的秘密 is real nice. realli like it siah. can't wait for movie to come out. august i think, nvm. can wait. and the new song i'm writin is on hold currently. ran out of ideas. actualli shld say, too many tunes coming to my head for the same lyrics. hmm. hiakX. wait ba wait, i'll get it done soon, hopefully. wait for the best tune to come to my mind firz. haha. aniwaes, realised the song on my blog sounds a bit too, erm, digitalised?if that's how u spell it. but nvm, nice then can le. ha.
my love for sad songs is gonna kill me one day, too much sadness, but i still like them. but pls, to all out there, love sad songs only becuz u feel sad abt the song, not becuz it makes you happy (which i dunno how a sad song can make someone happy). sad songs, are meant to be sad. being happy abt it is juz an insult to the writer who meant for it to be sad. ok, i guess i sounded too offensive. but pls look at songs in the right way they were supposed to be looked at.
pls tell me i'm not wrong about this, that one day, we'll eventually find ourselves on the same path in each other's life.
the lyrics :
不能说的秘密 曲 : 周杰伦 词 : 方文山
冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见
最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜
你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变已错过的时间
你用你的指尖阻止我说再见
想像你在身边在完全失去之前
你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡
Monday, July 09, 2007
nt realli a happy day
off..ya..but so?i dun realli feel happy today..dunno y..play bball oso play 1 hr then go le..sian..altho managed to noe one guy who's quite gd at bball..but didn't play much..juz so sian..evrything juz didn't seem right today..shoot ball cannot go in, dribble cannot get pass, spin ball the ball can't even hit the board..wtf is wrong..no focus, no concentration..
i tot the msg cld haf made me happier for the whole day. but no. NO. no way. it didn't. i juz dun like this kinda feeling. y am i always doing the tokking while u listen. i guess that's y u're a gd listener. but wadeva. i oso dunno wad i'm doing. all this, for nothing? emptiness is filling me up. but at least got ppl still can tok to. like someone who likes to appear offline cuz she wanna watch videos on youtube, dun wanna mention names (k. it's jialin). someone who juz scold me fug when i tok to him, but i noe he's juz joking, dun wanna mention names (k. it's tzeheng). someone who juz likes to piss me off when i tok to him, dun wanna mention names(k.it's realli someone i do not wish to mention his name). someone who juz say a few words, then seems like she's busy for the rest of the days, dun wanna mention names(k. it's yanrong). while others, they're juz ppl who i casualli tok to. and i've juz decided to change my format of writing blogs. from here on, i'll try not to put ".." cuz it makes the the whole thing look like one chunk of wordy thing. it's quite hard to kick away this habit tho.
still remember this habit was picked up when i firz gt a hp that can sms. cuz of the limitations of 160 char, i'll tend to squeeze evrything, tryta summarize. from 3 dots become 2 dots. once i tot that 2 dots same as a dot followed by a space, but 2 dots easier to type. perhaps if i change the way i type on hp, ppl wun feel intimidated by the whole chunk of words ba. i'll try to change. ha.
and thx to jialin, i've decided to watch huan4 huan4 ai4. afterall, u gave me such a good link without lag in the video. and ya. the song tui4 hou4 is still playing at the back of my com even tho i'm not at my blog!!! this is actualli making me sick of this song, ha. but i guess i'll nvr hate jay's songs. afterall, i hafta admit tui4 hou4 is the best song in still fantasy. i mean the best slow song. best tune still goes to twilight's chapter seven for it's unique style. argh, the song kip playing, then make me think that it's actualli very nice. haha. zz, liewz. i hafta agree with jialin that this song is nice liaoz. ha.
if tmr is the end of the world, i'll hold you tight, and say wad i think and wad i feel. that's the only reason y i look forward to the end of the world, cuz only then, wld i definitely tell u. if not, how else would i find the courage to say, to say that i realli like u.
omg, i think i can write that into a song. ha. gogogo!!! gonna be a slpless nite.
i tot the msg cld haf made me happier for the whole day. but no. NO. no way. it didn't. i juz dun like this kinda feeling. y am i always doing the tokking while u listen. i guess that's y u're a gd listener. but wadeva. i oso dunno wad i'm doing. all this, for nothing? emptiness is filling me up. but at least got ppl still can tok to. like someone who likes to appear offline cuz she wanna watch videos on youtube, dun wanna mention names (k. it's jialin). someone who juz scold me fug when i tok to him, but i noe he's juz joking, dun wanna mention names (k. it's tzeheng). someone who juz likes to piss me off when i tok to him, dun wanna mention names(k.it's realli someone i do not wish to mention his name). someone who juz say a few words, then seems like she's busy for the rest of the days, dun wanna mention names(k. it's yanrong). while others, they're juz ppl who i casualli tok to. and i've juz decided to change my format of writing blogs. from here on, i'll try not to put ".." cuz it makes the the whole thing look like one chunk of wordy thing. it's quite hard to kick away this habit tho.
still remember this habit was picked up when i firz gt a hp that can sms. cuz of the limitations of 160 char, i'll tend to squeeze evrything, tryta summarize. from 3 dots become 2 dots. once i tot that 2 dots same as a dot followed by a space, but 2 dots easier to type. perhaps if i change the way i type on hp, ppl wun feel intimidated by the whole chunk of words ba. i'll try to change. ha.
and thx to jialin, i've decided to watch huan4 huan4 ai4. afterall, u gave me such a good link without lag in the video. and ya. the song tui4 hou4 is still playing at the back of my com even tho i'm not at my blog!!! this is actualli making me sick of this song, ha. but i guess i'll nvr hate jay's songs. afterall, i hafta admit tui4 hou4 is the best song in still fantasy. i mean the best slow song. best tune still goes to twilight's chapter seven for it's unique style. argh, the song kip playing, then make me think that it's actualli very nice. haha. zz, liewz. i hafta agree with jialin that this song is nice liaoz. ha.
if tmr is the end of the world, i'll hold you tight, and say wad i think and wad i feel. that's the only reason y i look forward to the end of the world, cuz only then, wld i definitely tell u. if not, how else would i find the courage to say, to say that i realli like u.
omg, i think i can write that into a song. ha. gogogo!!! gonna be a slpless nite.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
songs
ha..can't find the song that describes my feelings now..cuz no matter how i add the blog will have error..but this song wun haf error..haha..so add this lo..my fav song for jay's latest album (last yr)..haha..but think his album coming out soon..haiz..in ns so long, so dun even noe the latest news..haha
well..this is the song that describes my feelings now:
小丑鱼
我在你身边游来游去
我不敢出声看着他亲吻你
眼不能闭
看你的唇印还在那里你
隔着玻璃所以听不见
我在叹息
说不出口的秘密
永远活在小小的世界里
仅存一点稀薄的氧气
是否够我继续撑下去
这件脱不下来的外衣
还是你喜欢的橘
我不能确定
是否你曾经注意
我的眼泪流在透明的水里
★ lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海
等我转过身看你眼神
才知道自己想得太过天真
伤得太深 爱来的时候划破沉闷
我早该知道你终究不是我
该爱的人
黑暗中两眼无神
夜里不再为我开盏灯
始终不敢将爱说出口
当然没有资格去竞争
恋爱和失恋同时发生
怪自己枉费青春
我输得彻底
把脸深埋在水里面
却还要演好这一场戏
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海那片海
waiting for you
那片海眼看就要让我愈来愈远回不来
从此你的不愉快那么遥远谁听你埋怨
再说一遍说一遍 ya...
我在你身边给你一点点愉快就
会心甘情愿回到大海
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海那片海
waiting for you
haha..that's all..but dun ask me y i think it relates to me right now..i do not noe too..but i guess it juz happens to be a nice song..hmmm..mebbe it realli is wad i'm feeling right now..i do not noe..
aniwaes..written a new song..shld be uploading to my songs blog..so keep a lookout..haha..in case u do nt noe..it's at the links there..that says my songs!!!haha..oya..and i'm rewriting 三月六日..and i seriously hope this post comes out with the chinese words i typed..hopefully
well..this is the song that describes my feelings now:
小丑鱼
我在你身边游来游去
我不敢出声看着他亲吻你
眼不能闭
看你的唇印还在那里你
隔着玻璃所以听不见
我在叹息
说不出口的秘密
永远活在小小的世界里
仅存一点稀薄的氧气
是否够我继续撑下去
这件脱不下来的外衣
还是你喜欢的橘
我不能确定
是否你曾经注意
我的眼泪流在透明的水里
★ lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海
等我转过身看你眼神
才知道自己想得太过天真
伤得太深 爱来的时候划破沉闷
我早该知道你终究不是我
该爱的人
黑暗中两眼无神
夜里不再为我开盏灯
始终不敢将爱说出口
当然没有资格去竞争
恋爱和失恋同时发生
怪自己枉费青春
我输得彻底
把脸深埋在水里面
却还要演好这一场戏
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海那片海
waiting for you
那片海眼看就要让我愈来愈远回不来
从此你的不愉快那么遥远谁听你埋怨
再说一遍说一遍 ya...
我在你身边给你一点点愉快就
会心甘情愿回到大海
lady lady one more try
再试着了解我的爱
发不出声音的感慨
选择作朋友的无奈
lady lady one more try
提醒我何时该走开
只要你偶尔想起来
我就住在那片海那片海
waiting for you
haha..that's all..but dun ask me y i think it relates to me right now..i do not noe too..but i guess it juz happens to be a nice song..hmmm..mebbe it realli is wad i'm feeling right now..i do not noe..
aniwaes..written a new song..shld be uploading to my songs blog..so keep a lookout..haha..in case u do nt noe..it's at the links there..that says my songs!!!haha..oya..and i'm rewriting 三月六日..and i seriously hope this post comes out with the chinese words i typed..hopefully
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
5-star toilet
z..dammit la..pc wants 5-star toilet..**** to him..****s refers to some round thing..lol..shall try not to use too much vulgarities..but realli la..5-star..for gods sake..this is the army..army toilet expecting 5-star HOTEL standard..zzzz..in the firz place, the toilet wasn't even built like a 5-star hotel toilet..given it's standards now, it's alr considered the best in the army..we gave ourselves 6/10 for a 5-star hotel toilet..but it wld be 10/10 for a normal army toilet la..zzz..
and i feel cheated over the run..supposed to run 12km..run run run..till the supposed turning point, then i was like..eh?y haven turn yet..then kip running..then WTF..realli damn far then turn la..run back then the "gd" conducting officer juz say it was 13km juz now..ok fine..but at least he apologised..and i tot i failed to meet the 72min timing for 12km la..in the end i ran 13km in 73mins..zzzzz..****s to u..
juz looking forward to this wkend..cuz pretty long wkend to go..mon tue off..juz slp slack play game at home..but haiz..i'm like losing touch on my studies lo..=P..becoming more str based whether then intel based..XP
and i feel cheated over the run..supposed to run 12km..run run run..till the supposed turning point, then i was like..eh?y haven turn yet..then kip running..then WTF..realli damn far then turn la..run back then the "gd" conducting officer juz say it was 13km juz now..ok fine..but at least he apologised..and i tot i failed to meet the 72min timing for 12km la..in the end i ran 13km in 73mins..zzzzz..****s to u..
juz looking forward to this wkend..cuz pretty long wkend to go..mon tue off..juz slp slack play game at home..but haiz..i'm like losing touch on my studies lo..=P..becoming more str based whether then intel based..XP
Sunday, July 01, 2007
hmmm
dunno wad to do..sianz..wad's the nxt step?step forward, or take a step back and appreciate the situation b4 doing anithing farni..i need help..perhaps muz need help from haha..nvm..zzzzzz
Monday, June 25, 2007
am i dumb
am i juz being used, yet happy abt it..mebbe i noe it..juz that i dun wanna confront it, yet..doing all these, despite the fact that i noe the possibilities of failing..the high probability..i juz chose to be blind to those things..trying to escape from this world..but i noe, one day, i'll be back here again..
it's haunting me again, things that happened in the past..i dunno y, it's not ez to forget..ezier said than done..
and guess wad..ah xin from may day kissed selina in the wu yue tian mv! DAMMIT!!! @#$% but nvm..it's juz an mv..even hei ren kissed her b4..hahaha..
i'm juz confused, pls dun care abt me..i mean..care for me pls..haiz..
it's haunting me again, things that happened in the past..i dunno y, it's not ez to forget..ezier said than done..
and guess wad..ah xin from may day kissed selina in the wu yue tian mv! DAMMIT!!! @#$% but nvm..it's juz an mv..even hei ren kissed her b4..hahaha..
i'm juz confused, pls dun care abt me..i mean..care for me pls..haiz..
Sunday, June 24, 2007
be there
juz say i'm tired, dun feel like doing anithing..but seeing the money rolling in, but no time to spend..juz haiz..sian arh..
i dunno wad i'll do, but i try my best..even if hope seems so little..i dun care, cuz i juz wanna be there..
i dunno wad i'll do, but i try my best..even if hope seems so little..i dun care, cuz i juz wanna be there..
Thursday, June 21, 2007
tired
I WANNA SLP..but booking in le..hai..gd thing tml after ndp can book out..
i juz realised something..it's selina that reminds me of her, not the other way round..which means i'm actualli in love with her..haiya..how arh..can't stop thinking abt her..juz wanna be with her..haiz..tell her..TELL HER..i'm siao liaoz..crazy with her..
i juz realised something..it's selina that reminds me of her, not the other way round..which means i'm actualli in love with her..haiya..how arh..can't stop thinking abt her..juz wanna be with her..haiz..tell her..TELL HER..i'm siao liaoz..crazy with her..
Saturday, June 16, 2007
I'M PUTTInG IT ON!!!
omg..this mornin go down ndp to help out..but i was damn happy when wee sir said we can put on our cbrd badge regardless of whether u've pass ur ippt or not..so now, i'm a happy guy..
ndp was nice..the whole floating platform..realli cool..then the apaches fly pass..the parade..all seems so nice on the floatin platform..how i wish i can go down there to watch on the actual day..but dammit..i wld be givin out food at suntec on the day itself!!!ARGH
ndp was nice..the whole floating platform..realli cool..then the apaches fly pass..the parade..all seems so nice on the floatin platform..how i wish i can go down there to watch on the actual day..but dammit..i wld be givin out food at suntec on the day itself!!!ARGH
Friday, June 15, 2007
i'll wear u one day
wahaha..found this nice website..chck it out dudes..
http://www2.apan-info.net/mpat/documents/Singapore_CBRN_Defense_24Aug06_Chua.pdf
i hope i'll wear this badge one day..evryday i open my wallet and see it..i'll juz say "i'll wear u one day"..and i will
i'm juz tired..so i feel like slping..=P
http://www2.apan-info.net/mpat/documents/Singapore_CBRN_Defense_24Aug06_Chua.pdf
i hope i'll wear this badge one day..evryday i open my wallet and see it..i'll juz say "i'll wear u one day"..and i will
i'm juz tired..so i feel like slping..=P
Sunday, June 10, 2007
a man who knew no tiredness
been going arnd this couple of days..seen lotsa things, had lotsa fun..pop, but still a private..lol..but i guess pop was nice..the cft, my best so far..route march was okay, basically juz counting down the light posts left in front..mask run juz run all the way, walk up slope, chiong back camp..10 mins for 2km mask run..not bad ba..the beret is a very nice thing..like soft toy liddat..lol..cbr badge, i'm gonna wear u..juz wait..
i juz love the way u smile, the way u make me happy..if i can juz see u more often..hai..if only u knew..mebbe u noe, but we chose to hide it..we shall see where fate will bring us..
AND Selina from S.H.E is juz so nice..lol..it's juz a kinda feeling u get when u see her..haha..reminds me of..erm..lol
i juz love the way u smile, the way u make me happy..if i can juz see u more often..hai..if only u knew..mebbe u noe, but we chose to hide it..we shall see where fate will bring us..
AND Selina from S.H.E is juz so nice..lol..it's juz a kinda feeling u get when u see her..haha..reminds me of..erm..lol
interesting bk
found some nice books..hmmm..might juz change my perspectives towards certain things in life..but i shld go ask the opinions of some frenz too..haha
Saturday, June 09, 2007
pop again
yet another pop, but filled with pride..haiz..realli wanna put on the cbr badge, but now can only look at it..nvm, i'll put u on real soon..oso got beret le, that i can put on..haha..it's not the end, it's juz the beginning..
haiya, the more i msg her, the more i feel like..argh..izzit right this time?who noes, let's c..
haiya, the more i msg her, the more i feel like..argh..izzit right this time?who noes, let's c..
Sunday, June 03, 2007
protect
i juz noe..i wanna protect her with all i haf..i'll tell her that..soon..even if she doesn't noe now, i'll make her feel it..
it's wierd, how love comes, without u noeing it..and all of a sudden, u wanna be with that person forever..
it's wierd, how love comes, without u noeing it..and all of a sudden, u wanna be with that person forever..
Thursday, May 31, 2007
not that i do not care
i hope u dun think too much, but seriously, there's nothing i can do..the most i can do, and i haf done, was to stay by ur side..and to encourage u to move on..juz let it go..it is destined it has to leave this world..as long as it leaves a memory in u, it has served it's purpose, at least u noe it has left u with gd memories..
humans are juz liddat, they tend to forget wad gd things ppl haf done to them..wad they can rmm are juz the bad things..and once someone has done something bad to them, they juz treat the person as an evil guy, forgetting how much he has helped them in the past..i guess those words we said yest in bunk were juz outta a sudden rage..at least for me, i noe it is..and i hope no one was hurt by wad i've said..and i hope evryone wld juz look at sgt as a good person, not forgetting those gd things he has done for us..y remember the bad things when it leaves u with juz bad memories..
and i seriously dun appreciate those ppl who didn't get punished yet complained alot..ya..perhaps they do feel for us, i mean, that shld be a definite..but i dun get it why they are complaining more than those who were directly punished..juz forgive and forget..well, afterall, we were certainly in the wrong..yes, it might have been kinda extreme, but pls remember this is the army, there's nothing u can do abt it, the only way is to climb to the top and ammend those things that u r unhappy with..as ppl with such low ranks, the only thing we can do is to suck thumb..
ok..it all started out like this..in the afternoon, after lunch, after 1330, most of us were still slping, cuz our sgt said we can stay in bunk until further notice..but the thing is that, known to all of us, we're not allowed to slp after 1330, or at least, dun get caught..and well, at arnd 1440, sgt came in and saw us slping..GG..wadeva, we were prepared, or at least i was prepared..i wasn't slping when he came in tho..haha..but aniwaes, we fall in, and get punished..expected..and made to do some stupid things..some push-ups and worst of all, ranger jump..alot of ppl were angered by taht, and so, when we were let of into our bunks, most of us were unhappy and started complaining lo..that's all about it..
seriously, we were in the wrong..but punishments were extreme..haiz..dunno la
after book out was super boring..go home, get out, stayover, watch vcd, come home, play game..later on booking it..tt's about it..haiz..TML CFT LA..suck thumb..but after CFT, book out, so nvm la..juz hang on..haha..hope i dun fall out can le..maintain the platoon 6 standard of no one falling out from CFT..hahax..
i guess i'm juz tired, will call u again..
humans are juz liddat, they tend to forget wad gd things ppl haf done to them..wad they can rmm are juz the bad things..and once someone has done something bad to them, they juz treat the person as an evil guy, forgetting how much he has helped them in the past..i guess those words we said yest in bunk were juz outta a sudden rage..at least for me, i noe it is..and i hope no one was hurt by wad i've said..and i hope evryone wld juz look at sgt as a good person, not forgetting those gd things he has done for us..y remember the bad things when it leaves u with juz bad memories..
and i seriously dun appreciate those ppl who didn't get punished yet complained alot..ya..perhaps they do feel for us, i mean, that shld be a definite..but i dun get it why they are complaining more than those who were directly punished..juz forgive and forget..well, afterall, we were certainly in the wrong..yes, it might have been kinda extreme, but pls remember this is the army, there's nothing u can do abt it, the only way is to climb to the top and ammend those things that u r unhappy with..as ppl with such low ranks, the only thing we can do is to suck thumb..
ok..it all started out like this..in the afternoon, after lunch, after 1330, most of us were still slping, cuz our sgt said we can stay in bunk until further notice..but the thing is that, known to all of us, we're not allowed to slp after 1330, or at least, dun get caught..and well, at arnd 1440, sgt came in and saw us slping..GG..wadeva, we were prepared, or at least i was prepared..i wasn't slping when he came in tho..haha..but aniwaes, we fall in, and get punished..expected..and made to do some stupid things..some push-ups and worst of all, ranger jump..alot of ppl were angered by taht, and so, when we were let of into our bunks, most of us were unhappy and started complaining lo..that's all about it..
seriously, we were in the wrong..but punishments were extreme..haiz..dunno la
after book out was super boring..go home, get out, stayover, watch vcd, come home, play game..later on booking it..tt's about it..haiz..TML CFT LA..suck thumb..but after CFT, book out, so nvm la..juz hang on..haha..hope i dun fall out can le..maintain the platoon 6 standard of no one falling out from CFT..hahax..
i guess i'm juz tired, will call u again..
Saturday, May 26, 2007
porridge
HAIZ..STUCK AT HOME~sianz
yest quite sian..go back sajc..nothing much..typical mr low co prac..kip on repeating same old parts..i c le oso sian..haha..go back waste my time only..
nothing much nowadays la..juz quite boring..cook porridge lo..hahaha
yest quite sian..go back sajc..nothing much..typical mr low co prac..kip on repeating same old parts..i c le oso sian..haha..go back waste my time only..
nothing much nowadays la..juz quite boring..cook porridge lo..hahaha
Sunday, May 20, 2007
missing
something is definitely msing..the 2 mths, could it haf changed so much?or am i juz not used to it yet..somehow, the touch felt cold..no warmth..could hardly sense wad i used to..mebbe i'm juz not used to it..time will tell
Saturday, May 19, 2007
hmm
would i say i'm happy?perhaps..being back together, mebbe we'll be happy, but we'll see about that..
Sunday, May 13, 2007
bad sat
haix..yest was bad..mornin not feeling well le..but since movie tic alr bought..so might as well go for spidey3..it was nice la..after the movie, sushil called, and since i dun think i can't go for the drink cuz i wasn't feeling well, i told him that, and guessed wad, he said cheebai then hanged up le..ok lo..fine..
i dun like to pang seh, but seriously no choice..i go le oso wun drink, might as well dun go..
life is good, when u haf no worries..no wonder mine sux..
i dun like to pang seh, but seriously no choice..i go le oso wun drink, might as well dun go..
life is good, when u haf no worries..no wonder mine sux..
Friday, May 11, 2007
lol
my previous blogskin somehow got crashed after i tried to add something..i can't find the previous code..so went to blogskin and saw this..nice, so use lo..
haha..today had ippt trial test..think i kinda sucked..5 chin-ups only..my sbj oso sux..my running actualli improved by 1 sec..but no importance since i alr failed 2 items..but guess wad..my sit-up..hit 59 lo..34 in 30sec but after that seh liaoz..haha..but do so many oso no use..nxt time do 40 can le..hahaha..I WANNA GET SILVER!!!it's not impossible..it's all in the mind..=)
i've decided not to think anymore..think so much, no use..nothing's gonna chane, and i noe it..new life, new expectations =)
haha..today had ippt trial test..think i kinda sucked..5 chin-ups only..my sbj oso sux..my running actualli improved by 1 sec..but no importance since i alr failed 2 items..but guess wad..my sit-up..hit 59 lo..34 in 30sec but after that seh liaoz..haha..but do so many oso no use..nxt time do 40 can le..hahaha..I WANNA GET SILVER!!!it's not impossible..it's all in the mind..=)
i've decided not to think anymore..think so much, no use..nothing's gonna chane, and i noe it..new life, new expectations =)
Saturday, May 05, 2007
10km
i feel cheated la..somehow..the 10km felt only 1km more than the 8km last wk..mebbe the 8km wasn't realli 8km..but aniwaes..10km in 52mins..is that fast or slow..haiz..wonder how my 2.4 timing wld be like..simple calculation tells me that i wld need 12min28s to run 2.4..but think can be faster than that ba..i wanna run below 11 again..last time i ran below 11 was 1mth ago la..during blk leave..now so long nvr run 2.4 le..sianz..but i'm sure stamina go up le..
haiyakx..vry sian..when will ord come..zz
haiyakx..vry sian..when will ord come..zz
Sunday, April 22, 2007
changes
i've decided to make even more changes to my life..haha
exercise more..even when book out still go run a bit..dun slack at home.
dun use too much vulgarity..alrite..hopefully none at all..
eat less, cuz i realise evrytime i bookout..i eat alot and by the time book in..my wt bounce back up..end up do so many chin-ups training oso no use..cuz the str increase but the wt oso increase..end up, not enuff str to pull my own wt up..
oso..muz start saving money..for ps3 and games..altho the 1 time gd one 600 by june can help me with the ps3..and i'm not spending alot of money nowadays..but after course, sure got alot of chances to spend money de..so muz lax a bit..
lastly, muz hang out more with my frens..find chance to go out with them..dun be so lazy as to not to go out with frens cuz i juz wanna slp the whole day at home..
oya..i said i wanted to slp early on wkends, but can't seem to do so..the nite is juz too fun for me to slp..esp now got s.h.e on channel u on sat nights..awww..
zz..howta train SBJ..someone teach me!!!
exercise more..even when book out still go run a bit..dun slack at home.
dun use too much vulgarity..alrite..hopefully none at all..
eat less, cuz i realise evrytime i bookout..i eat alot and by the time book in..my wt bounce back up..end up do so many chin-ups training oso no use..cuz the str increase but the wt oso increase..end up, not enuff str to pull my own wt up..
oso..muz start saving money..for ps3 and games..altho the 1 time gd one 600 by june can help me with the ps3..and i'm not spending alot of money nowadays..but after course, sure got alot of chances to spend money de..so muz lax a bit..
lastly, muz hang out more with my frens..find chance to go out with them..dun be so lazy as to not to go out with frens cuz i juz wanna slp the whole day at home..
oya..i said i wanted to slp early on wkends, but can't seem to do so..the nite is juz too fun for me to slp..esp now got s.h.e on channel u on sat nights..awww..
zz..howta train SBJ..someone teach me!!!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
changes
i believe ns life has changed me..made me so busy that i dun think so much abt the past, except when i book out and when i slp..
changed me mentally..made me prepared for anithing, any punishment, the ability to take it and leave it..i'm glad
changed me physically..now i'm able to run 8km non-stop..kinda proud of myself..yest 8km run ran with shu han..haiz..found running buddy le..but in the end, he has to leave for EOD driver..awww..nvm..i'll cont to run myself..10km coming in 2 wks..but i'll juz run for it..now i juz love to run..=P
i'm juz a happy man now..happy to be alive, happy to be single..
i'll live life to the fullest..
changed me mentally..made me prepared for anithing, any punishment, the ability to take it and leave it..i'm glad
changed me physically..now i'm able to run 8km non-stop..kinda proud of myself..yest 8km run ran with shu han..haiz..found running buddy le..but in the end, he has to leave for EOD driver..awww..nvm..i'll cont to run myself..10km coming in 2 wks..but i'll juz run for it..now i juz love to run..=P
i'm juz a happy man now..happy to be alive, happy to be single..
i'll live life to the fullest..
Sunday, April 15, 2007
wad's with me?
hmm..somehow, i juz find it nice to look back at old blogposts..feel happy a little, for awhile, thinking abt the past..then suddenly sadness sets in, cuz u realise the happiness ain't there..but after another some while, u completely forget abt it..
i'm not sad..juz kinda void..an emptiness, which is buried deep in my heart..i'll not forget, but i'll move on..
new sights in life, looking forward, no past but future..
i'm not sad..juz kinda void..an emptiness, which is buried deep in my heart..i'll not forget, but i'll move on..
new sights in life, looking forward, no past but future..
life restarts
o..i think i've pressed the reset button..mebbe i'm starting to like life again?or izzit juz hibernation of my sadness..who noes..but now..let it be..but seriously..i still dun wanna book IN!!!argh..monday gonna be so shiong and so does wednesday..gg..hopefully can last thru it..and by then..4 WKS GONE LE..hahaha..juz get this over and done with then get my one time gd one $600 on 8thJune..hopefully..haha..then can buy PS3 le..hopefully by then, the price will drop a little..firz game to buy will be gundam musou and then sonic..haha..i'm childish..wadeva, but i like sonic..haha..my inner childhood is kinda takin over..
haf been starting to think more abt future, and having plans abt an online game, which i hope i can make by the time i come out of uni..the idea is there and the basic stuff are kinda decided le..juz get some partners and hopefully can start it off..muz get those who studied game design..haha..make more frens in ns..that's wad my sirs said..these 2 yrs, no matter how tough it is, u'll still haf ur frens by ur side..
let love come and go,
like a wind that blows my soul,
let it be,
let it be gone,
let it fly,
let it down.
lol?new song coming up?but i dun like writing eng songs le..like so many eng songs le..which i dun rly like them, that's y didn't post on blog..haha..can actualli compile 2 albums for all the songs i've written le..gd old memories, in the form of songs..hopefully when i grow old and look back at these songs i've written, i can rmm all abt my sadness and happiness..
what will come will come,
what isn't yours is not yours,
let it be gone,
let it be done,
what you wish,
may not be yours.
good game, good day, good night and i shall go slp..=P
haf been starting to think more abt future, and having plans abt an online game, which i hope i can make by the time i come out of uni..the idea is there and the basic stuff are kinda decided le..juz get some partners and hopefully can start it off..muz get those who studied game design..haha..make more frens in ns..that's wad my sirs said..these 2 yrs, no matter how tough it is, u'll still haf ur frens by ur side..
let love come and go,
like a wind that blows my soul,
let it be,
let it be gone,
let it fly,
let it down.
lol?new song coming up?but i dun like writing eng songs le..like so many eng songs le..which i dun rly like them, that's y didn't post on blog..haha..can actualli compile 2 albums for all the songs i've written le..gd old memories, in the form of songs..hopefully when i grow old and look back at these songs i've written, i can rmm all abt my sadness and happiness..
what will come will come,
what isn't yours is not yours,
let it be gone,
let it be done,
what you wish,
may not be yours.
good game, good day, good night and i shall go slp..=P
Friday, April 13, 2007
wahaha..3 wks gone
3 wks gone..but the songs are getting boring..perhaps we shld start new songs? shall nt tok much abt unit life..juz training lol..hahax
i'm kinda feeling bored..wanna slp liaoz..so shall blog tml..enjoy the new song..if it's sucessfully loaded up on this blog
haha
i'm kinda feeling bored..wanna slp liaoz..so shall blog tml..enjoy the new song..if it's sucessfully loaded up on this blog
haha
Sunday, April 08, 2007
o, tell me why
this is seriously another one of those nights i sit by the com, havin nothing to do and browsing thru tons of blog posts..
coming to conclusions, and alot of them..y isn't it me?it cld haf been me..i did my best, to stay, to make her stay..but the worst has happened..i tried my best..i did try to hold on, but it felt kinda slippery, and i was juz tired..too tired to hang on to that 0.001% chance of her coming back..now, i believe, this 0.001% has somehow dropped to 0.000000001% or even less..cuz i noe, there is someone better out there that she so wants to be with..and i wish her best, at the expense of my heart..somehow, my heart is still with her..but she has forgotten where she put it, and she refuses to return it to me..ridiculous, even after 3 yrs..i still can't find a right place for my heart..finding so many girls, trying to noe more ppl..and eventually, wad i get is void, plain emptiness..failure, sadness, grief..all filling me at once, overwhelming me..fallen, driven to the extent of giving up on evrything..this pain, no one can cure, no one can sense, no one can feel the same..this loneliness..loneliness of an 18 yr old, trying so hard to find a true love, yet he can't..
this is but a story, a sad one, one which i hoped the main character isn't me, but it happened to be dearest me..
i wish, to stay, to learn, to experience, to care, to share, to cry, to laugh, to love..
it was taken away, and not being given back..i am emo now, and i do not intend to return to my usual self, until the day breaks..i'll juz sit infront of this com, looking back at all those memories that left me alone..hui2 dao4 guo4 qu4, to the time where i dared to tell u i love u..
booking in, for more pushups..i hope it wun hit 1000..although this wk it's i myself who did 200+ more on fri to make it 1000..but i guess it's gonna be good for my body..and this 3 days i hope i haf fully rested, physically, but not mentally..but i'm prepared to accept the challenges ahead in my life, not in my past, but the present and the future..
i'll try my best to stop looking into the past and look forward..i promise myself..
coming to conclusions, and alot of them..y isn't it me?it cld haf been me..i did my best, to stay, to make her stay..but the worst has happened..i tried my best..i did try to hold on, but it felt kinda slippery, and i was juz tired..too tired to hang on to that 0.001% chance of her coming back..now, i believe, this 0.001% has somehow dropped to 0.000000001% or even less..cuz i noe, there is someone better out there that she so wants to be with..and i wish her best, at the expense of my heart..somehow, my heart is still with her..but she has forgotten where she put it, and she refuses to return it to me..ridiculous, even after 3 yrs..i still can't find a right place for my heart..finding so many girls, trying to noe more ppl..and eventually, wad i get is void, plain emptiness..failure, sadness, grief..all filling me at once, overwhelming me..fallen, driven to the extent of giving up on evrything..this pain, no one can cure, no one can sense, no one can feel the same..this loneliness..loneliness of an 18 yr old, trying so hard to find a true love, yet he can't..
this is but a story, a sad one, one which i hoped the main character isn't me, but it happened to be dearest me..
i wish, to stay, to learn, to experience, to care, to share, to cry, to laugh, to love..
it was taken away, and not being given back..i am emo now, and i do not intend to return to my usual self, until the day breaks..i'll juz sit infront of this com, looking back at all those memories that left me alone..hui2 dao4 guo4 qu4, to the time where i dared to tell u i love u..
booking in, for more pushups..i hope it wun hit 1000..although this wk it's i myself who did 200+ more on fri to make it 1000..but i guess it's gonna be good for my body..and this 3 days i hope i haf fully rested, physically, but not mentally..but i'm prepared to accept the challenges ahead in my life, not in my past, but the present and the future..
i'll try my best to stop looking into the past and look forward..i promise myself..
Sunday, April 01, 2007
hmm
愛上一個人的7個預兆
1.當你正在忙時,卻把手機開著,等著她/他的短信..你已經愛上她/他了
2.如果你喜歡和她/他兩個人單獨漫步..你已經愛上她/他了
3.當你和她/他在一起時,你會假裝不注意她/他,但是當她/他離開你的視線時,你會急著尋找她/他..你已經愛上她/他了
4.當她/他受傷或生病時,你會很關心她/他,替她/他著急..你已經愛上她/他了
5.當她/他和別人要好時,你會感到吃不知其味..你已經愛上她/他了
6.當你看到她/他那甜美的笑時,你的嘴角會揚起一絲得意的笑..你已經愛上她/他了
7.當你看到這篇文章時,心裏想到某個人,你已經愛上她/他了......
saw this somewhere on some china website..
somehow, all i can think abt is her, o wtf..cblj, i thot i wldn't think abt her le, but somehow, memories juz came pouring in..but i noe it, i juz can't forget..ok, it's juz memories, it's not the present..haiz..if this applies to me and her 3 yrs ago, we wld certainly fit in to al these 7 signs..but not now..i bet it applies to her and someone else right now..so wadeva
booking in tonite, ok..cheer up dudex..ur guys, the buddies u're gonna live with for the nxt 1yr6mths are in there..haha..do my best, get the badge, forget abt her and find a new her..stay happy, my fren..
perhaps, this is true love, cuz wad i want for her now is for her to be happy, hoping that she wld end up with the person she reali likes, and it's not me..
1.當你正在忙時,卻把手機開著,等著她/他的短信..你已經愛上她/他了
2.如果你喜歡和她/他兩個人單獨漫步..你已經愛上她/他了
3.當你和她/他在一起時,你會假裝不注意她/他,但是當她/他離開你的視線時,你會急著尋找她/他..你已經愛上她/他了
4.當她/他受傷或生病時,你會很關心她/他,替她/他著急..你已經愛上她/他了
5.當她/他和別人要好時,你會感到吃不知其味..你已經愛上她/他了
6.當你看到她/他那甜美的笑時,你的嘴角會揚起一絲得意的笑..你已經愛上她/他了
7.當你看到這篇文章時,心裏想到某個人,你已經愛上她/他了......
saw this somewhere on some china website..
somehow, all i can think abt is her, o wtf..cblj, i thot i wldn't think abt her le, but somehow, memories juz came pouring in..but i noe it, i juz can't forget..ok, it's juz memories, it's not the present..haiz..if this applies to me and her 3 yrs ago, we wld certainly fit in to al these 7 signs..but not now..i bet it applies to her and someone else right now..so wadeva
booking in tonite, ok..cheer up dudex..ur guys, the buddies u're gonna live with for the nxt 1yr6mths are in there..haha..do my best, get the badge, forget abt her and find a new her..stay happy, my fren..
perhaps, this is true love, cuz wad i want for her now is for her to be happy, hoping that she wld end up with the person she reali likes, and it's not me..
a lonely night
i've nvr felt so alone b4..or mebbe i did, but somehow, the loneliness juz feels me tonite..i juz dun feel like slping at all..mebbe things didn't happened the way i wanted it to be, but i noe it's too late, yet i juz can't help but feel lonely..
am i that helpless?when it comes to love, i juz get easily shot down, falling non-stop..somehow i was on the cliff again..dropping, dropping, falling and falling..picked up again, i thot so, but somehow the rope was cut, and i continue to fall..
alrite, enuff of the emo..
life in 39SCE is so far so good..bravo coy, the more shiong coy in 39SCE as compared to alpha coy, according to our oc..alrite la, i dun mind..the commanders are so far nice to us..or mebbe cuz it's the firz wk?i wonder wad'll happen when we book in tml..things will change, and we shall plunge into hell, or mebbe not?who noes, but we'll c..the chin-up regime is definitely more shiong than that in mohawk..my senior still told me the training not as tough as that in mohawk, but i guess mohawk wasn't shiong enuff..haha..nvm..ippt silver in 9 more wks..can i make it?who noes, but i will try my best in order to put on the badge..elite of the engineers..lol..
somehow, i guess the one she's tokking in her blog is him, the one who balls so well..a gd fren of mine, whom i didn't see for many yrs to go..distance has drawn us apart, somehow i juz dunno howta kip my frens close to me..lack of social skills?perhaps..or mebbe i'm juz too lazy to go out and hang out with my frens..am i?ok, i guess i am..but tt's juz me, anti-social me..tt's the real me, nt the one that's tokking crap all day..when i'm alone, it's me..when i'm talking crap, it's not..i'm juz a lone ranger..and tt's the way i like it to be..i noe it's not gd for me, yet i'm comfortable with it..in my own world, as myself..ok, fine..i seriously hope he wun let her down, cuz it seems that, she dunno whether she shld tell him or not..mebbe i can encourage her a bit..who noes..
am i that helpless?when it comes to love, i juz get easily shot down, falling non-stop..somehow i was on the cliff again..dropping, dropping, falling and falling..picked up again, i thot so, but somehow the rope was cut, and i continue to fall..
alrite, enuff of the emo..
life in 39SCE is so far so good..bravo coy, the more shiong coy in 39SCE as compared to alpha coy, according to our oc..alrite la, i dun mind..the commanders are so far nice to us..or mebbe cuz it's the firz wk?i wonder wad'll happen when we book in tml..things will change, and we shall plunge into hell, or mebbe not?who noes, but we'll c..the chin-up regime is definitely more shiong than that in mohawk..my senior still told me the training not as tough as that in mohawk, but i guess mohawk wasn't shiong enuff..haha..nvm..ippt silver in 9 more wks..can i make it?who noes, but i will try my best in order to put on the badge..elite of the engineers..lol..
somehow, i guess the one she's tokking in her blog is him, the one who balls so well..a gd fren of mine, whom i didn't see for many yrs to go..distance has drawn us apart, somehow i juz dunno howta kip my frens close to me..lack of social skills?perhaps..or mebbe i'm juz too lazy to go out and hang out with my frens..am i?ok, i guess i am..but tt's juz me, anti-social me..tt's the real me, nt the one that's tokking crap all day..when i'm alone, it's me..when i'm talking crap, it's not..i'm juz a lone ranger..and tt's the way i like it to be..i noe it's not gd for me, yet i'm comfortable with it..in my own world, as myself..ok, fine..i seriously hope he wun let her down, cuz it seems that, she dunno whether she shld tell him or not..mebbe i can encourage her a bit..who noes..
Monday, March 19, 2007
the difference
been looking at alot of other ppl's blogs lately, and somehow, u can see when the person who is blogging is happy. it's shown in the blog, the way he/she types, the way he/she looks at life. shld i be glad, or shld i not. glad that she has found the way she wanted to live, or not glad that i can't even be part of her life. i'm not sad, juz not happy.
give up, i've done that. but i'm still trying hard to forget, and i guess that's the hardest part of this. put an end to this 3 yr loneliness, at least, forget about her, forget that u even once loved her, which i personally think i still do. u noe it when it's still there. ppl might tell u no it's not, but u're not me, so u wun noe how true i think this is.
dun like a sad song, cuz u noe u're happy when u're listening to it. ridiculous, how can u be happy when u listen to a song that's supposed to be sad. u're juz plainly insulting the song. like it, becuz it brings about a same sense of unhappiness, a sense of loss in u, when u hear the song. do not insult a sad song. coral sea is a sad song, if u think it's a happy song, u can jolly well go touch up on ur own feelings, cuz it's a little bit messed up.
random thoughts?nah, juz some things that i've thot about for a very very long time. and if she's realli together with him, i only got one song for them, wang2 ba1 dan4..to think that i tot u were a good fren and told u all abt me and my feelings for her. i feel cheated for 3 yrs, even if it didn't started 3 yrs ago.
say, i can't accept it, wadeva, so wad..i'm a sore loser, mebbe?but i'm getting over it, and seriously, i hope this is the last time i blog abt her le..
going to change blogskin, get out of this angel look, cuz wad i want is a devil. angel wings, nah, i look forward to devil wings.
give up, i've done that. but i'm still trying hard to forget, and i guess that's the hardest part of this. put an end to this 3 yr loneliness, at least, forget about her, forget that u even once loved her, which i personally think i still do. u noe it when it's still there. ppl might tell u no it's not, but u're not me, so u wun noe how true i think this is.
dun like a sad song, cuz u noe u're happy when u're listening to it. ridiculous, how can u be happy when u listen to a song that's supposed to be sad. u're juz plainly insulting the song. like it, becuz it brings about a same sense of unhappiness, a sense of loss in u, when u hear the song. do not insult a sad song. coral sea is a sad song, if u think it's a happy song, u can jolly well go touch up on ur own feelings, cuz it's a little bit messed up.
random thoughts?nah, juz some things that i've thot about for a very very long time. and if she's realli together with him, i only got one song for them, wang2 ba1 dan4..to think that i tot u were a good fren and told u all abt me and my feelings for her. i feel cheated for 3 yrs, even if it didn't started 3 yrs ago.
say, i can't accept it, wadeva, so wad..i'm a sore loser, mebbe?but i'm getting over it, and seriously, i hope this is the last time i blog abt her le..
going to change blogskin, get out of this angel look, cuz wad i want is a devil. angel wings, nah, i look forward to devil wings.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
POP
Pass out from bmt le, and many ppl are going in now. good luck to them. nothing much to talk about pop..the happiness of pop has somehow died down, cuz this block leave is somehow filled with boredom..
somethings are better left unknown. and i finally know why. i shldn't even have bothered to go look at her blog, to find things that i dun wanna see and know. some things are gone, but the pain lingers. it's too late to turn back and i noe it myself, 3 yrs, too much have happened..she's no longer the same person, but i'm still here. time to move on..i muz learn and indeed, it'll be hard, but i have to perservere, even without her.
and i've also ran out of ideas for songs, somehow..for dunno how many months, i've not written any songs..mebbe this block leave i'll come up with a few more..and i've never really started on the rap i wanted to write..songs, i'll make it my life.
somethings are better left unknown. and i finally know why. i shldn't even have bothered to go look at her blog, to find things that i dun wanna see and know. some things are gone, but the pain lingers. it's too late to turn back and i noe it myself, 3 yrs, too much have happened..she's no longer the same person, but i'm still here. time to move on..i muz learn and indeed, it'll be hard, but i have to perservere, even without her.
and i've also ran out of ideas for songs, somehow..for dunno how many months, i've not written any songs..mebbe this block leave i'll come up with a few more..and i've never really started on the rap i wanted to write..songs, i'll make it my life.
Friday, March 02, 2007
oo
finally can blog le..am i happy now?no
seriously..wad can i be happy about..my abb?below my expectations..seriously..haiz..
but haiz..the main pt is still 6thMarch..coming soon..again..the third yr without her..shld i make a move..or shld i juz gif up this yr again..i realli dunno..yes, i love her..but i'm juz scared of her not tokking to me animore..
seriously..wad can i be happy about..my abb?below my expectations..seriously..haiz..
but haiz..the main pt is still 6thMarch..coming soon..again..the third yr without her..shld i make a move..or shld i juz gif up this yr again..i realli dunno..yes, i love her..but i'm juz scared of her not tokking to me animore..
Saturday, January 27, 2007
I'm a mohawk warrior
long time nvr post..muz haf been wondering y i haf not been blogging?lol..if u're updated..i've enlisted
ns life is bz..yet fun..new frens, new life, new perspectives..
having done with the brainy side of my life..now it's the physical side..
almost completed bmt le..passed live range..field camp..all tt's left is sit test, ippt, soc..
life is fun..in mohawk..sergeants are nice..the sirs are nice..the sergeant major is nice..the oc if farni..wad more can i ask for..best welfare is good training..lol
i'm proud to be a mohawk warrior=D
ns life is bz..yet fun..new frens, new life, new perspectives..
having done with the brainy side of my life..now it's the physical side..
almost completed bmt le..passed live range..field camp..all tt's left is sit test, ippt, soc..
life is fun..in mohawk..sergeants are nice..the sirs are nice..the sergeant major is nice..the oc if farni..wad more can i ask for..best welfare is good training..lol
i'm proud to be a mohawk warrior=D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)