The balance of care

Slowly but surely, I'm learning how to handle this balance of caring for someone.

When caring makes it hurt so much cuz of how unappreciated you feel, you just have to let it go a bit. And its hurts less to care, go on, and do what you need to do.

Its like kiting, something that I find it so hard to learn, be it in real life kiting, or DotA2 kiting, or relationships. You'll just have to find a right balance, so that you won't let go. Let lose, but don't let go. Keep your hands on the reins, but never control. Okay, kiting is a bad example. But yeah. I've still got much to learn.

At least it doesn't hurt that much now when I feel unappreciated. I'm kinda getting used to the fact that I'm only being approached when help is needed, only being talked to when I'm needed to do something. It makes me feel fucked up all over. Like, I'm being screwed just cuz I decided to be nice no matter what. Well, a life of being made use of, I guess its my own fault I'm too used to it. And I never know when to pull myself out of these kind of things till I get really really hurt by the people that I care about.

Once again, I've found myself falling back into the same hole I climbed out from after end of last sem.