are u a fren

k..after wad happened juz now..i can be even more sure of what i have stated the other day..i have no true frenz..and not even buddies..yes..i mite have said something or 've done something that pissed u off..but wad is that..u nv tell me..i dun even noe whether it's directly or indirectly..and u dun even gimme a chance to explain myself..but i guess there is no point in doing so..cuz in the firz place..u're already thinking that i'm absolutely wrong..wld true frenz do that?ya..mebbe they'll jump straight to conclusions..stating that u're wrong..but never not stating a reason why as he/she is pissed off with u or think that u're absolutely wrong..and to the extent that even a sorry is no cure..yes..sorry mite be no cure..but a true fren wldn't keep it to himself..wldn't say sorry no cure and not give a reason as to y sorry is no cure..and juz keep on saying "NO" and shit stuff..and i wld like to say..u're not the only one in the whole world who is pissed off..it's not like wad u think..it's not happening only to u..have u ever thot that it mite be happening to others juz that becuz that other person thinks that u're a fren so he dun wanna trouble a fren or wad..evryone has his/her woes..not only u..u tell me go reflect..yes..i've reflected..that's y till now i'm still not aslp..but reflection is over boy..and my conclusion is i've nv done anithing today that wld have cause any harm to our frenship..or mebbe it's not even a frenship..can i call that a frenship?

yes..i've said in a previous post that i can do anithing..even to the extent of betraying a fren..but u think i wld actualli do that???betraying a fren?even though i doubt our frenship..i still call u a fren in front of u..i treat u as what i think one wld treat a fren..but i dunno if these ppl i call "frens" will treat me like i treat them..that's y i doubt frenship..is it the way i treat ppl as frenz that is wrong or wad..mebbe i'll nv noe..

all i can say is sorry and nothing but sorry..even though i still can't think of wad i've done wrong..but i still wanna say sorry..cuz i dun wish to lose wad i think..is a "frenship"..or is it juz acquaintances that i am calling them frenz..i realli dunno..

and to the one i've talked to abt this frenship stuff and family stuff juz abt an hour ago and who thinks that i'm thinking too much..i can tell u now that i'm not thinking too much..cuz my frenships are doubtful..mebbe u can tell me wad truly are frens..

my day was okay..but juz becuz of ur bad day..u've made my day bad too..but i've no comments abt it or anithing..if it's realli becuz of something i've done that made ur day bad..then i guess it's only rite for my day to be bad too..am i rite? "fren"?or "acquaintances"?

u can't blame me for doubting frenship and say it's my fault that i'm doubting frenships..but it was so-called "frenz" who made me doubt frenships..once bitten twice shy..perhaps the "trust-no-one" me is back..but at least this time i guess i still can trust my family for once..and perhaps the one who have talked to me abt frenship stuff and family stuff..at least i had sensed some truthfullness and trustworthiness in his/her words..mebbe that is wad frenz are?to be able to let u sense truthfullness in her words..

but i juz can't understand y the one i've thot to be my "fren" juz can't believe in me..but wadeva..if u dun believe in me..juz let it be..if u still wanna call me a "fren" so be it..i'm fine with it..but i doubt we cld still be "frens" like we were..cuz u alr have doubts in me..

and to the one i've tokked to abt frenship and family stuff..ya..i think my vocab used in wad i've told u juz now mite be a little bit wrong..cuz i tokked abt not having buddies or true frenz..mebbe i shld juz tell u some other day ba..

once again..sorry again..but i realli can't think of wad wrong i've done..

a truth

good guys are bullied..
bad guys gets their gals..

working on lyrics for a song to show how sad guys are..

support the ff7 remake

hopefully square wld remake ff7..like i've said in a previous post on ff7 ac..if they cld remake ff7 as a ps3 version..it wld be bez..and better if they can link the firz story to ff7 ac..let's hope that we can see ff7 on ps3 in the future..bez game i've ever played..ff rox..ff7 rox most..so pls click on the link in my links..for the online petition..cuz ff7 is realli is a good game and we muz support it..even if u nv played it or watched the movie b4..u still shld support it cuz i'm sure more will be delighted abt the remade version of ff7 if it truly comes out..

and ya..today is a damn stupid day..slacked till cannot slack animore..haha..go up to hr to carry table..but wait wait wait for so long..then wait for lift to come up oso very long..so wasted like half an hour juz to carry tables and chairs..and ya.went to accounts to return the visa mc and amex slips..lol..can't believe they actualli forgot to put these things into their slip bags..but seems that only if we're there wld there be no problems..haha..but mebbe the senior staff weren't there yest nite?dun realli noe..haha..but wadeva..i'll get my 48 dollars per day aniwae..lol

do i stand a chance?

shld i juz tell her that i'm willing to subsidise her?or shld i wait and observe the situation..wadeva..i've got a feeling i'm gonna flop this time round again..tho i'm more serious than other times..i'm still not confident..i've nv felt so serious b4..willing to do anithing juz to be together with her..even if it means to betray my frenz..i guess my seriousness is scary..but i guess i will not resort to betraying my frenz juz to be together with her..zhong4 se4 qing1 you3???dun realli care now..i flop in my life..loner..no true frenz..juz now lonely lonely walk home..thinking abt alot of stuff..realised that ppl who i call buddies or frenz are not truly ppl i noe..i do not noe them well..mebbe i dun make myself active when we hang out together..that's y there's a lack of communication..i'm juz telling myself to take it one step as a time..slowly..if this is wad i'm born to be..as a loner..i'll juz live with it..p.sch to now..have i realli had a true fren?i guess not..but one thing i noe..is that i put all i have into liking someone..perhaps that's y i ignore my frenz..and perhaps that's y i'm getting more hurt and hurt in the heart each time i like someone..but it's juz me..plain me as to put my whole heart into a relationship..

and i didn't eat my dinner all thanx to someone..but nvm..and ya..i wasted 8 dollars on chicken little..dotx..the other 8 dollars leh..i dunno la..it's not up to me to decide whether it's wasted..haha..

great time spent together with boss..but as i've said earlier on..this is not a true frenship..do i realli treat them as frenz..mebbe?i dunno..but how do i explain the fact that i actualli asked them to without me to buy the tic firz while i wait..if i treat them as frenz..wld i do that?i dunno..

if frenz are like this..k lo..i have frenz..but true frenz who understand how i feel..nah..perhaps becuz i nv express my true self infront of frenz..perhaps becuz i only show my true self infront of the gal that i like..perhaps i was nv given a chance to express myself in front of my frenz..too many qsns that puzzle me in my life..haiz..

but rite now..i guess i shall juz put all my mind on the prob i'm facing now till after holidays..

and..pls..dun gimme false hopes..i can't stand false hopes animore..

i realli dun want myself to like someone again..but it's so inevitable..it juz comes and i can't stop it..ya..i've completely forgotten abt the previous onex..that makes me free to like aniwan..i guess..but..i thot i shld have a period of rest for myself before going into another relationship or mebbe even a one-way one..but..i guess there is no more period of rest..mebbe i shld juz tell her..mebbe..but i'm really confused..wadeva..getting so freakin tired..

and ya..boss today last day..haha..had dinner with him..as farni as ever..and her aunty..firz sight..i thot she was a chinese..juz like when i firz saw zul..but no..she, like zul..is a malay.omigod..realli like chinese la..haha..think oso got chinese blood in her..lol..

revitalised but going down again..

completely disappointed..so bye to u..

k..today was damn freaking stupid day..when kennon gave that evil laughter..i knew he was thinking of something bad..and ya..it was bad..at firz he called me, ye ling, wan jun and alan out from the counters..o..k..i thot he was going to ask us carry things or move the wagons away..and then..he said.."i want u all to..erm..wait arh.."..then he gave that evil laughter..omigod..something bad is gonna happen manz..then he told alan and wan jun go pack things..ok lo..mebbe at most ask ye ling and i go carry boxes out or wad..then i was thinking..ask gal go carry boxes out meh..cannot be ma..then came the bad news.."u two arh..go take one elmo and one cookie monster..then go arnd promoting it.."..omigod..then so..we juz took out an elmo and a cookie monster then walked abt in b2 promoting them..and it was LAME..so freakin paiseh la..kaoz..but i muz admit..cookie monster is very nice to hug..SO BUY ONE..haha..and ya..i felt like another ah gong..haha..at firz didn't dare to promote to the customer..so it was mostly ye ling doing the tokking..then after that..we went to get some marker and paper then wrote the price and all those crappy stuff..and ye ling suggested i carry the 2 plush and the paper..while she do the tokking..o..k lo..fine with it..dun like to promote stuff aniwae..haha..then we went again..but still..nearly evryone we saw said : "i have one at home already"..and we were like thinking..erm..evryone so rich siah..got one at home..or they wld say : "too big la..u c my child still so small.."..and i always wanted to say..nvm ma..big onex can hug till u old ma..haha..but didn't say that la..haha..and ya..we aimlessly walked abt the square..and returned with wad we think is 2 sold..as we presumed that the customers were going to buy them..haha..then ye ling was sent back to third floor again lo..and ya..y again leh..haha..cuz morning ye ling was supposed to go to third floor for work ma..then she stayed at b2 for a while to help out..while trying to persuade daniel (the supervisor) to let her stay at b2..and ya..daniel initially wanted to let her stay la..but when he knew that she didn't have a cashier id..which is essential to be a cashier..he called her go up..but she insisted on staying at b2..so after some time..angie can't stand it liaoz..so send her up lo..haha..at least there was some silence at b2 for a while..but after lunch she came back la...cuz she begged xiao siang i supposed..and that was when we were called forth to promote the elmo and cookie monster..haha

and the more i hear abt derrick from daniel yao (the temp staff, not the supervisor)..the more i dislike derrick la..freakin boaster..wanna noe more..refer to daniel's blog..which i dun have the link now yet..haha..ya..derrick is gonna be stuck at delivery for eva i bet..unless hr approves of his transfer to a department..which i believe wld be unsuccessful la..haha..

xing long today last day.sadz..so many ppl going..like wei chang.. kah hui..zul..haiz..dunno why they muz go..zul so funny..haiz..no one there to joke again..haha..sian lo

new skill learnt today..delivery..taught by daniel (the supervisor) when he was teaching the other daniel..

lol

i'm so dead tired..but tml off..so most prob i'm gonna chiong ps2 whole nite..haha..cuz drank mocha..so shld be able to last..sicarlli my ps2 can't last..haha..but my ps2 hasn't been failing me so far..haha..

and we have some new scandals at taka..but not good to say here la..shldn't spread rumours so far when they're not true at all..haha..

and guess wad..i learnt howta do cash return liaoz..still got credit return and credit voucher to learn..long way ahead..hopefully can learn all..haha