haiz

k..too many sad songs..too many..even songs that are supposed to be happy..sad songs are meant to be sad..but y even happy songs are sad..that's y the song i composed..ppl hear..they'll say it sounds happy..but in fact..i feel sad..when i came up with the tune..somehow..no matter how happy the song sounds like..i'll still be sad..haiz..


stop asking me wad happened on 6thMarch..it's juz something that happened 2 yrs ago..

life?

evryone does things in their life with a reason..only they themselves understand wad they are doing and y it is good for them..can't expect evryone to understand ur actions..


that is the truth abt life..

lalala

k..i'm settled with the tune for san1 yue4 liu4 ri4..


now is juz to type it out in chinese..so i can post it somewhere..haha..apparently blogger can't post chinese words..cuz last time i tried putting shan hu hai lyrics..it didn't appear..


ya..as i was saying..shan hu hai..yea..today chee mun and sheena went to balcony to sing the song together..to (and obviously) la1 piao4..lol..wahaha..k..sheena was off-form i guess..since ms. soh said she was having sore-throat..and chee mun was good..and it's like..wtf..well..he muz be off-form the firz time round..that time when he got kicked out..mebbe he was nervous?but goddammit..he was good at the balcony..wtf..or mebbe relative to sheena??=X..


and tokking abt campus superstar..zhiwei was supposed to have tics..argh..then after that..morning he told me only got 1..then gloria said got 3..so i am supposed to get 4 ya..for me pat lm and marv..but guess wad..during physics..zw said no tics..omigod..nvm..still got 3..at most we pang seh marv since he pang seh us the other day..then after gp..haha..gloria no tics lo..LOL..cuz she wannna go..omigod..nvm..go home lo..haha..


and i've realised feb is a dammit short month..argh..it makes 6thMarch relatively closer..ARHHH..how..haha..die la..lol..so far i've only prepared a song..and nothing else..argh..and can i pick up the courage to actualli even send her an email..zzzzzzzzz..


and why am i always injuring myself when i play matsuri..argh..2 yrs ago i was oso playing matsuri..and injured my fingers..she was there for me then..but will she be here for me this yr as well?haiz..

hiakX

haiz..i dunno how long i can last..can i actualli wait till 6th March or wld i tell her b4 that..wad wld her reaction be..and cld i realli stand her telling me NO one more time?if she does..i juz..haiz..i..realli dunno wad to do..

haiz

it's subconsciousness that makes me do such things..listening to the same song over again and again..not getting sick of it..singing it even when i'm not listening to it..wad is happening..haiz..is my subconsciousness telling me that i haven forgotten her yet..well..it's not as if i want to..i am forced..forced to say yes to the qsn that went "can we just be frenz?"..wadeva happened 2 yrs back..it's still haunting me..cuz i still have feelings for her..


i've realised i'm missing alot of things..in the past..we can tok for like any wild topic in the world online..but now..i try to tok to her..wrecking my brains to think abt how to tok to her..and ya..sometimes she wld reply alot..but most of the time..it's juz one or two words answer..tell me..how am i supposed to live on like this..to tok to one person u've loved so much b4 and still loving yet she does not even care abt how u feel..ignoring u..i can't blame her for ignoring me..afterall..i wldn't be surprised if she still think it's my fault for the break-up 2 yrs back..of all i did..wadeva i did..that made her think i 2-timer..wondering which part of me made her tot i wld be a 2-timer..


looking at the conversation box now..putting my nick in such a way taht maybe she'll get a hint or something..but nah..she doesn't care and doesn't even seem to care..i doubt an email on 6thmarch wldn't be of any help either..no matter how hard i explained..they say..if she wld have forgiven me..it wld have been 2 yrs back..and not now..since i've alr explained it to her 2 yrs back..


haiz..but i juz think..i shld juz tell her how i feel abt her..even after 2 yrs..that i still have feelings for her..yea..we may have drifted..we may have changed.but i believe the part in u that i've loved so much is still inside u..and the part of me that made u like me still exists in me as well..i believe..yes..ppl change..but some things juz don't..yea..u can say i can't accept the fact..but is it truly that i can't accept the fact?no..i've accepted the fact..but i juz dun want our relationship to end juz becuz of this..becuz of a misunderstanding 2 yrs back..i..haiz..


hiakX..no matter how much i say..i still dun haf confidence..in winning u back..cuz i noe it's almost impossible..and probably a rare case..which implies that it might juz follow a poisson distribution or perhaps a geometric distrubution with probability of 0.001..


i am sure abt my feelings..but will u accept my heart again?or mebbe i have no more heart..cuz u took it 2 yrs back and threw it away..

erm..

yep..as always..and expected..no miracles..lonely valentine..


well..if there wasn't any gift exchange i wldn't have gotten anithing..haha..chocolate..but too bad i hate choc..on a lonely valentine's day..so..too bad..but muz say thankew to whoeva gave the present ba..but..seriously..i did not appreciate it..so sorry..


ya..tot wld be going home wif gerald tham after sch today..cuz basically..lm and wp both shld have gone home le..but when i went down to lvl2..then from "upper caffe" saw mong wp and marv..then went down..on the way down accidentally bumped into a gal..so sorry..haha..and ya..then mong say he wanna go botanical gardens..then wp and i tell him go himself..but in the end the 3 of us went to causeway point whereas marv went lib mug..


on the bus..tokked..alot of ren2 shen1 dao4 li3 mentioned..and one of my fave popped out..only when u noe wad true happiness is..then u noe wad is true sadness cuz u dun haf the true happiness..becuz u had it, that's y u will feel bad not having it animore..whereas when u didn't even have something b4, u wun feel as bad..u wldn't noe how it realli feels..then suddenly i went quiet..thinking abt v day 2 yrs back..how i spent taht afternoon..happily at least..giving ppl presents..then at nite..went down seriously and got cheered up a little by sh after 12..that was the firz time sh and i seriously tokked to each other..cuz b4 that i was preoccupied by this gal..but thanx to sh who was there for me..when i was down..


arh..f..when i start to think abt vday 2 yrs back..i'll link all the way til 12thApril..argh..shit..feeling damn fucking sad again


lonely valentine..

zzz

diaoX..tml v'day le..gonna spend it at home..lol..slp..haha..unless marv wp and pat they all wanna go out..but c firz ba..haha


today went causeway pt c c..then saw s&k bag..the one that mong marv and caron bought..and wp and i decided to buy it..then mebbe abbas oso want..but haven buy yet..not enuff $$$..lol..$16..cheap yea..lol


ha..valentine..the other one..lol
-->

lol

been blog hopping later..saw alot of ppl down becuz of o's results..bad o's results doesn't mean anithing..bad posting is the main point..haha..from wad mok and i had been thinking..mebbe seven pointers can't even get into nj..given the fact that there are ip ppl..haha..


aim low..and u'll be damn happy when u get high..haha


sadness allows you to know the happiness you have had so far but at the same time, makes you realise what you have been missing in life.


haha..i've realised i lose weight mainly due to shit..not becuz i'm full of shit..but i wld like..for days dun shit..then suddenly..woah..all come out..haha..now less than 60 liaoZ..hee..lol..but stomach damn pain..too many sit-ups juz kill..LOL

haiz

i've asked myself the same qsn again..if given a chance..wld i go the same path again?


well..up till sec4 most prob will still stay on the same path..yea..sad things on the path..but i've learnt from it..i'll still choose u..but i wld haf told u evrything..i wld haf done my best to let the relationship be so much more than juz a month..i will not hurt u..but yea..no one can change wad he had done..so..i'll juz stay with it..mebbe u'll appear in my life again..mebbe u'll not..mebbe u'll be together wif me again..mebbe u'll not..it's ur choice..i can't do anithing..a NO 2 yrs ago mite still be a NO 2 yrs later..i will be sad..but it's ur choice..mebbe it's the best choice for u..to say NO to me again..i can't guarantee i wun hurt u again in the future..but i'll do my best not to..but wld u even gimme a chance to do my best?i do not noe..


k..enuff of sentimental things..long time nvr tok abt recent happenings le..lol


today arh..co arh..o..k lo..haha..mdm hwee got us food..argh..weight gain!?lol..not realli tho..cuz played bball after that..and weight still staying constant..haha..gonna do dumbbells tonite..haha..can't slp..and yea..becuz of the above paragraph ya..


tokking abt bball..after bball i went play mahjong with willie and yi chao..haha..wah..damn lucky sia..juz kept winning..LOL..won 6.90 from yi chao and 0.50 from willie..BIG WINNER!!!LOL..


and ya..my life's boring..so nothing much to say..it's boring cuz u're not to light up my life..and ya..i changing my pw back to the one u set for me..so if u still rmm..mebbe u can go back to my email and c how much u mean to me..yup..those 2 yrs ago de emails i deleted le..cuz i tot i cld forget u..but apparently i haven..

2nd song

yepx.completed muh second song..the lyrics..and title finalised..san1 yue4 liu4 ri4..

haha..but still thinking of whether i shld add in the rap..cuz now i have two tunes for it..if i choose the fast one..then i wld add the rap..if not..of cuz no rap la..but..as promised..it wld only be out on 6thMarch..haha..debut..LOL

haiz

i've realised..it's 8thfeb..approximately 2 yrs since we firz met..it was cultural nite ya..haiz..


2nd nite..the actual date was 7thfeb..not 8thfeb..knew each other at backstage..u listened to me and eugene sing song on the bus..u said it was nice..we started saying hi and bye repeatedly at co room..cuz evrytime i said bye to u..and u said bye to me..u wld disappear awhile and appear again..and woah..hi again..haiz..


then ya..became ur papa..u comforting me on v day becuz of wad happened to me..ty for that..


haiz..i miss ya..wanna c u again..wanna be with u again..haiz

freakin sad

wah..siah lat..shan hu hai mv is so super sad la..haiz..i watch till last part..it's like..wah..damn sad..if it's realli fang wen shan's story..then he's a real sad guy manz..he did so many things for the gal..sobs..


the rest of the mvs oso quite sad lah..haiz

haiz

valetine's coming in approximately 1 wk's time..haiz..am i happy?mebbe..cuz i noe wad is true sadness..and i'm not to the extent of truly sad yet..so i guess i'm happy..but the other way round is that i'm sad..cuz i noe wad true happiness is..but wad i have now is not that..so mebbe i'm sad..k..optimistic and pessimistic view..and i'm more to the latter one..


aiya..not gonna write the valentine song alr..haha..one wk siah..haha..


tokkin abt valentine's day..stil remember when we were in rv..we wld go west mall one wk b4 to buy presents..haha..like help zhou peng write card..all those stuff..that time..we were a happy bunch..but that's the wk b4 valentine..valentine's day always end up a lonely and sad day for me..2004 was sad..but it made me closer to 6thMarch..that nite i told her so many things..still rmm her telling me to be happy..smilez4eva..but ever since she came back frm her sec3 adventure camp..i guess it became smileznomore..haiz..


heckx..shall not tok abt sad things le..k..this valentine's gonna be lonely again..and i'm sure of it..no miracles or wadsoeva..i dun care abt wad others think abt me..no point..when the one i truly loved misunderstands me..wad others think and misunderstandings of me matters no more to me..i tried to explain to her 2 yrs back..but somehow i failed..and i've actualli waited 2 yrs and realised that..i can't forget her..stupid me..after 2 yrs..i feel like explaining to her again..but wld it be of any use..wld she come back to me?i do not noe..haiz..


no point..some told me..mebbe it is..


u wun noe till u try..most told me..but i'm a pessimistic person..this is an optimistic sentence..


haiz..wad can i do?

WTF

wah!!!4th tune for this song!?kaoz..LOL..i started writing for the verse..and when i started thinking of the tune for the verse and howta link to chorus..i came up with another tune..ZZZ..


one thing..jay's huo yuan jia..the more i listen..the more i like..yes..at firz i listen on 93.3 on the world wide release..it sounded like lan se feng bao..but the more i listen..it gets better..and it is totally different..i like the co backgrnd music..so nice..hee..


k..shall not write down the verse on my blog yet..cuz haven complete the whole song..but the release date for san1 yue4 liu4 ri4..wld of cuz be 6thMarch2006..haha..who noes wad wld happen on that day..but aniwaes..think it wld be my third song..cuz now working on another chinese song..hahax..most prob out by vdae..LOL..but dun think it's gonna be abt love..it's juz another song abt life as a whole..it mite turn out to be like fuck-up..LOL

MATHEMATICS!!!???

ROFL..

k..i've gotten the 3rd tune for san1yue4liu4ri4..so duh rite..haha..while trying to remember both the firz 2 tunes..which apparently i've failed..i came up with the 3rd tune of mid tempo..LOL..3 tunes..3 tempos..haha..but so far the best is mid tempo so most prob will stick to it..haha..one month to complete it..LOL..

k..took this personality test..mathematics..-_-'''

You scored as Mathematics. You should be a Math major! Like Pythagoras, you are analytical, rational, and when are always ready to tackle the problem head-on! Mathematics 83% Philosophy 75% Engineering 75% Journalism 67% Art 50% Dance 42% Sociology 42% English 42% Psychology 42% Chemistry 33% Anthropology 33% Linguistics 33% Theater 33% Biology 33% sorry but the link cannot work..so go to quizfarm.com and search for what is your perfect major..

2nd song

k..here's a preview of the nxt upcoming song i'm gonna write..the name of the song is..san1 yue4 liu4 ri4..it's a chinese song..basically..it is 6thMarch la..haha..haven complete it yet..but here's part of the chorus..


san1 yue4 liu4 ri4 wo3 men2 xiang1 ai4 de4 na4 yi4 tian1
si4 yue4 shi2 er4 wo3 men2 fen1 shou3 na4 yi4 tian1
guo4 le4 liang3 nian2 wo3 hai2 shi4 xiang3 zhe4 ni3 de4 lian3
shi4 bu2 shi4 wo3 zhen1 de4 yi3 jing1 ai4 shang4 ni3



k..that's the front part of the chorus..ha..got meaning onex..now is 2006 rite?so guo4 le4 liang3 nian2 means the 6thMarch is 2004 lo..hahax..but i think i so farni..i've actualli tot of 2 tunes for this part of the chorus..one slow one fast..when it's supposed to be quite a sad song i cld actualli think of a fast tempo for it..ha..but i c the lyrics..haiz..sad siah..but i can't seem to think of the tune for the verses and all the others..and ya..if u're wondering why izzit in han yu pin yin..well..i can't type chinese characters on this com..so too bad..haha..bad habit of mine..think of tune and lyrics at the same time..then will forget the tune i had for the lyrics..then in the end will think of another tune..then remember that tune le..then the older tune pop back..haha..so have 2 tunes lo..the fuck-up i oso have two tunes but the tune i decided to use was of cuz better la..and ya..plans on having a rap or climax part for fuck-up has been shelved since i'm working on the second song now..haha..chinese song..bez is i can get it done by 6thMarch la..but from now till 6thMarch alot of things going on..like..needta study for block test..tests in between..2nd intake coming in..which means mite needta do alot of planning for co things..and ya..but stil will try to make it by 6thMarch..so that mebbe..tho i think the chance is 0.001% but it's better than not trying..afterall..jeremy said turn the digits back i'll get 100.0%..haha..lamoe..but haiz..dunno la..2 yrs le..haiz..


and ya..talking abt jeremy..he made me return home late today la..all thanx to him announcing me as sl today..then in the end needta go for ex-co meeting..ARHHH..i had my bag nicely packed and rdy to go le lo..then wah..at firz he say no announcements le..then i happy..cuz me being sl is still not official..then DAMMIT..he turned arnd tok to mdm hwee for awhile then i noe something's bad gonna happen le..and it happened!!!ARHHHHHHHHH!!!siah latx..then i reached home at 8 plus lo..so late..haha..so i decided not to do econs essay outline..since it's that simple to do..as in doesn't require much brain cells..juz refer to notes..crap to lyndon chua..done..HAHA..lol..k..TV time..haha..the police show on channel u..YEAY!!!hhaa..