and you begin to wonder

Why you continue treating some people so good when the things they do to you just don't make it seem like they deserve your kindness at all.

How about putting yourself in my shoes, and see where I'm coming from? =/ It doesn't feel good being taken for granted, not at all. If this friendship has become such that we can only talk to each other when we need each other's help, I seriously don't see a point in it at all. It has become so bad that I sometimes ask myself, "can I even call you a friend?"

I only see myself hurting myself more and more by trying to maintain this friendship. It takes two hands to clap, and I only see that I'm the one doing everything. I've kinda decided to stop caring anymore, since it seems like all I do only irritates you, and the only time when I don't irritate you is when you need my help. So enough is enough, I'll still help out if I'm asked of, but other that that, I'm just not going to care anymore.

Friendships are pretty much similar to relationships in this aspect. If one party stops giving, and the other party gives too much, the latter would always be the one to get hurt. So, too bad, I'm the one who cared more, when it didn't really matter to my "friend". Perhaps, its time to be more selfish and care about myself more?

If all you wanted was for me to stop talking to you, then perfect, cause I don't feel like talking to you anymore. You're not the only one irritated here.

Priorities

Wanted to do so much today, but ended up playing the whole day away, or rather nua-ing. Its probably not an emotional thing, cuz I dun really feel anything right now, just numb. Initially, I planned to wake up early to get started on my bulk-up regime again, but well, I woke up at 12pm, just before lunch. Well, nvm, fk that regime for today, I wanted to spend the whole afternoon before RT to finish up on my ACC tut (checked), and to get a bit started on my FYP. But then, frens called me up for dota, heh, played the whole afternoon away. Wanted to get ready for RT already, then guess what, another group of ppl asked me to play. So I decided to skip the RT and just waive the last session of IPPT away, hopefully I would be able to.

Well, that's alright then, I basically spent the whole afternoon playing dota, completely ignoring the fact that I wanted to do work, and wanted to buy my running shoes after the RT session. So night came, I wanted to start on FYP after dinner, but then again, DOTA. =/

It seems that getting off facebook didn't really help at all, the time I save from FB, i just spend it on gaming. You can never convert play time to work time, but you can always convert work time to play time.

Time to seriously get started. I'm so behind time on my FYP that CA2's gonna be so bad. Not to forget that I still have BI orals coming up, and the lack of practice cuz I haven't been speaking much in Indo since I only see mich for 3 times a week and we hardly talk on wa/sms, all that ain't helping. But owell, time management is the issue here, and I should really kick dota out of my life like how I managed to kick fb out.

But then again, I'm watching dota2 tournaments every night. =/

Discipline, why do you continue to elude me?

HEY!

ooh, 600th post. Maybe a time to look back on the past?

"Ain't nobody got time for that" -insert black woman meme-

Well, I guess I've looked back on the past much enough to stop looking at it and move forward? Things that have been holding me back in the past, I've somehow managed to cast them aside in the short 9 months since the start of SEP. I'm said it time and again, I'm glad I've changed into this person I am now. Although the last 2 months or so almost made me turn back into the idiot I was, I'm glad I managed to stop it in time. Certain aspects of me that I don't like are still with me, but then again, its what makes me who I am in the first place. The fact that I get taken advantage of easily by people also comes to show how easy I am to say yes to others. In a way, its damaging for myself, but I guess so far, the damage has been rather limited?

Well well, saying goodbye to the old me. I shall dedicate this song to that "me".

It ends tonight by The All American Rejects.

"when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight"

I'm walking on a path where I'm my own torchlight, where I'll make it shine no matter where I walk. Instead of letting people be that goal for me, I shall be the goal of other people's lives. More "me", less "you", cuz I realised, you didn't see me as important as I saw you to me.

why bother

Its not my problem anyways. It has never been a problem that started because of me. If I had stay firm and kept to my stand, I would not have allowed myself to be swayed so much by someone's emotions. In a way, I would call that my fault, but the situation was never about me.

So, why bother? I'll just keep to my stand. I'm happy the way I am, and why should I allow someone to come in and break the way I live my life. Especially if that someone will probably not stay in my life for long. Friends come and go, I have long been able to accept the fact and move on. So why be different now? Is she that important to me that I wouldn't want her to leave my life?

Important, as a friend. Anything more than that, I've asked myself, and the answer is its not up to me to decide. What I know is that, I'll just stick to my stand as mentioned above. If it happens that there's feelings from her side, then we'll see how it goes again. The best would of course be that there's nothing at all.

If there's anything that really bothers me is that, if I'm just seen as a friend, then why would anyone react like that. Setting a difference between real-life and WA/sms, is there really a need for that? Shouldn't friends be able to talk no matter what, that if one party really needs somebody to talk to, the friend would be there? If anything, its the difference that makes me gaowei. And its the fact that I'm choosing to not confront about it that makes me even more gaowei. I've always been one that would want to put conflicts on the table and talk things out, so why the situation now? Maybe I just don't wanna be tied down by anything right now, I don't wanna have more things to worry about?

Yes, I'm running away from the problem, but I've already tried my best to solve it, but to no avail. Life goes on anyway. =/

the need

to dig down, and ask what I truly feel.

But do I have the time for it? Or do we have the time for each other?

I don't even have the time to truly think about how I feel right now.

I'm just so tired, so just let me rest?

100%

I realised how I like to hold myself back when there are major events coming up in life. For example, like tml, there's a 10km run, so I just find myself holding back today during IPPT. Except for sit-ups, which I usually just do 40, I just gave almost only 50% for each of the station including 2.4km. Finishing the 2.4km and not feeling tired after it even though i jogged and finished within 12.30, well, that's obviously not 100%.

Isn't it the same in life? Even though I always tell myself to give a 100% if I know I can do something, I usually hold back and give just a little bit, like 80%. So is it that I failed cuz I told myself that I would fail beforehand, or is it that failure was always there, and I was right to hold back? I have no idea.

For once, I would like to give a 100%, but I'm just so perpetually tired this sem, I don't know if I would be able to manage. So, I'm really sorry if I appear to be not interested at times, but in actual fact, I'm paying pretty alot of attention to whatever that people are saying to me.

So, would 100% be enough? =/

Well well, let's take things one step at a time, and first up, nike run 2012.

what a super long day

Phew, this day felt like forever. Went out to buy the stuff for the cooking in the morning, and ended up having to go to sch and all cuz of some delays and stuff, and perhaps miscommunication and bad planning on my part. Then during the cooking, realised that I forgot to buy coconut milk. =/ Luckily still managed to buy some in the end, and didn't cause much of a delay. The Indonesian day, overall was okay, some parts were funny and all, but somehow, halfway through, I just felt really really tired. Maybe its cuz of the lack of sleep, or maybe its cuz of running in the rain, and kenna the rain even though i was holding the umbrella (well, that kinda happens whenever I share an umbrella anyway, haha). But yeah, felt so tired after that. So when mich said her fren wanted to meet up and drink, I was half contemplating to go home and take a rest first before heading out for supper. But owell, in the end just went along. Well well, at least its kinda fun to just talk random stuff, and to think back about SEP for awhile. Haven't really thought of SEP that much ever since I got off fb anyways. Yes, I still miss Europe but not as strong as the feeling I get whenever I see my SEP photos on fb. Then again, I digressed.

So after that, was on our way to upper thomson and shun bian send mich home, but ended up stranded off to the orchard cuz both of us missed the exit. In a way, I was in the wrong cuz I wasn't in the correct lane to filter out. Well well, I guess, I need to really drive more then? Really have no idea of the roads in areas other than the west.

Then, the supper, well, cuz I was late, so by the time I got there, they've already ordered the food and were almost finished. =/ So had to dabao home lo. Come to think of it, for the whole of the day, the only proper meal I ate was my supper. =.=

And I realised I kinda slimmed down over the past few weeks. Maybe its cuz of skipping lunch and sometimes dinner, coupled with going for RT almost every other day. I have no idea how I got so lazy once school started that I abandoned my exercise regime I had before school started. Then again, I doubt I have so much time right now to start on that regime again. =/ When there's FYP, projects and all staring down at you, all the deadlines. =/ There's not even the time for things that matter, for people that matter. Time, such an important thing, but I still fail to grasp it properly. Perhaps like what mich said today, I have a poor perception of time afterall. =/

so...

I managed to pull through it myself. Finishing everything at 5am. Well, not exactly everything, still have that presentation to worry about. But from the way I see it, or rather, the lack of sleep cuz of the coffee, I highly doubt I would be able to present much tomorrow anyways. Probably will just sit down there and listen to what the others have to say. Its sad that I'm spending less time on my core, just because its not as interesting as my UEMs. Yes, human-computer interaction is indeed interesting. Provides me with ways to go about designing stuff, be it for FYP, for the razer app competition or future app designs. But the way the lecturer goes about teaching the module and the way the tutorial is handled is just, in plain words, too boring. Well, I digressed.

The main point here is, I realised that, at the end of the day, I still have to rely on myself. People who I thought would be there for me when I needed someone to talk to, well, they just aren't there. Even if they're awake, they would probably just ignore my rants. Not surprised. Afterall, people only really talk to me when they need my help. I don't blame them, really, I don't. Its human nature to approach people only when they need help. Only a select few, like myself, are stupid., or rather, naive enough to approach people just to ask if they need help. Perfect example of the phrase 烂好人. I'm really not complaining, its just the way things turn out to be, no matter who it is, or what it is. After all these years, I've learnt to just keep doing what I like to do and ignore how people see it. I mean, at the end of the day, I would rather do good and end up being hated, than do bad and end up being hated. For the first scenario, I have no idea how people do that, to hate me for doing good things for them. Maybe what I perceive as good things ain't as good as I think it is? Or perhaps people just think that I have ulterior motives.

I've had enough of this. If that's the way things are going to be, then so be it. I'm not going to try to mend whatever holes there are in this friendship.

I really can't understand. It seems that, just because I said I will never "...", then things turned out like that. Its almost as if a different answer was expected. Its almost as if I'm not the one who developed feelings, but rather the other way round. At this point of time, it doesn't really matter anymore.

I guess, the way I look at relationships is this: If the other party has feelings for me, I would seriously ask myself, do I have feelings for her? If yes, and its obvious that the other party has feelings for me too, I would say ya, I have feelings for her. But if there's no feelings whatsoever, or its the "maybe" kind of thing, then I wouldn't even go into thinking if I have feelings for her, cuz I know it would only lead to awkwardness and stuff, and I probably can't look at the person the same way anymore. At the very least, I wouldn't say anything, or rather, I would just say "nope, I don't", without even seriously thinking about it.

Argh, whatever, I'm just waiting for the coffee to wear off now. =/

I'm a bloody idiot

So fucking careless, I can't stand myself. Been doing the accounting tutorial the whole bloody night. Don't ask me why I'm only doing it the day before the tutorial itself, I had my hands full the whole freaking weekend and I was bloody sick since after bball on Friday already. Didn't help that the Sat RT basically took up the whole day cuz of it being in the middle of nowhere in the afternoon. Totally screwed up my timing. Sunday was even worse, nike run race pack collection plus concert after that. So I was only left with today to finish up on acc, and my project presentation tomorrow. And why the fuck am I blogging when I still haven't finished anything yet? Cuz I'm so fed up with myself I need to talk to someone, but no one gives a damn.

I'm a fking idiot.

The stress is just, getting to me. Like finally.

Usually I used stress as a form of getting over my sadness, but when you have nothing to be sad about, stress is just, urgh, SO freaking unnecessary.

And why the fuck am I ranting on a blog, which no one would bloody respond to? Seriously. I want someone to scold me, for not managing my time properly. I want someone to tell me to just suck it in and press on. But I'm just telling all these to myself. =/ Yes, I'm breaking down, at a wrong time in the bloody semester.

And its a fking long time I used so much blood and fucks in my blog post. Seriously, this is fucking bloody. =/

CO

Went for nusco concert today. Somehow, everytime I see Mr Lum, it would bring a smile to my face. Maybe cuz its how I get to recall those co days when I see mr lum. Those stern comments he gives us during co practices that made us such an awesome CO back then. RVCO2004, Gold (with honours). Those were the days, that we sweat (from carrying the instruments), bled (from beating the drums too hard), cried (well, the girls).

But somehow, you don't feel that about NUSCO, nor mr lum's rvco nowadays. The last concert I went before nusco concert was the rvco one at the new campus. Somehow, you just feel that the co is not able to achieve the standards of mr lum. Or rather, perhaps his expectations have dropped over the years? There's no standard of perfection when you listen to an orchestra that he conducts anymore.

I still remember why I joined RVCO. It wasn't because my sister was from the percussion before I joined. It wasn't because I thought percussion was cool. It was because of the SYF I saw, the 1999 SYF which my sis participated in. For that year, they actually had a video tape that they sold for all the SYF performances. It was in that tape, that I saw how awesome Mr Lum's conducting was. I wasn't mesmerized by how individuals performed, but by how the orchestra seemed to be in sync. And that trademark ending pose that Mr Lum used to have, which out of my four years in RVCO, he only used it once while conducting us. It was simply amazing. And the reason I wanted to experience CO under a conductor like him. Although in the end, it turned out to be Mr Low taking over RVCO, but the 4 years were probably the best CO years of my life. And the best performance? Year 4 cultural night, that solo piece I had, the one that I practiced every day after school, so much so that whenever I started playing, people knew it was me in the co room. And of cuz having her dropping by just to watch me practice, b4 we broke up that is. Then that sweet night on the concert day itself, that moment that I fell in love with my second. Well, I digress. But the performance was simply awesome. The Long Teng in year 2 for the first rvco concert was pretty awesome too, the strength of rv perc was shown there. The many hours of practices we had.

Till this day, this song still reminds me of the glory days. Was finding the song, but saw this one that made me LOL. How fail can the perc be when they need the conductor to bring them thru the first part. I still remember I was the one who led the perc all thru the front part.

I'm kinda tempted to join NUSCO, just to play some drums again. But, somehow, some stuff are just holding me back. Firstly, FYP, the pure amount of work that I'll get myself involved in would just be too much for me to handle. Secondly, that Razer app development competition would take up another bulk of my time. Thirdly, EE4702 would probably kill me with its project next sem. Coupled with the fact that I intend to return to TKD training at the end of this sem, I don't see myself having time for CO practices. But well well, we'll see how things go. If I can manage my time properly, who knows.

and then I realised the things I love

It suddenly dawned on me. The things I loved. This "me" time I've been spending with myself has taught me alot more about myself.

I like running, but then I realised, I love that short burst of speed rather than the long distance running. That's what I tried to prove today at RT. Given the chance for interval training, I just burst off at every round, and coming back well less than 1m30s for each round. Fastest being 1m10s. And I actually felt good. (: and I'm surprised that my recovery time, after all these years of not training, is still as good as it was back in those NS days. 2 mins, and I'm off and running again. So yeah, I guess in the sports aspect, I've found my true love(?). Not long dist, but sprints. Marathons still have a special place in my heart, its the measure of one's endurance and the heart to train. But having that short burst of speed gives me much more thrill and satisfaction.

And that's why, following up on yesterday's "i want to be more sporty", I've decided to play more sports that involve that short burst of speed. Basketball (thankfully I've never stopped loving bball), badminton, soccer, and any other sport that I would pick up in the future. And hopefully, this love for speed would be useful for my tkd when I get back in the future.

I hope all these ain't just a spur of the moment thingy by me, and I hope that I would have the discipline to keep to any training I subject to myself from now on.

Discipline, I desperately need it.

Oh, and about the RT, its like wth. We were told to pair up with someone. Then 1 will run one lap while the other one will do one static exercise until the buddy comes back. So I paired up with this random dude. I think my one lap was like less than a minute (not a full 400m lap), whereas his was like 2+ mins? So it was basically me doing 1 min runs followed by 2+ mins of static exercises. I dun hate doing these exercises but its just that, u spend so much effort to complete ur lab just so that he does not need to do that much static, but the other party doesn't feel the same, doesn't do the same. So yeah, that's it. whatever. =/

And, I love having friends around me. I love spending time with people that care, and with people that I care for. I don't know if it will cross the bother of friendship, but one thing I know for sure is, if no one falls in love with me, I would not fall in love with her. Simple as that. Liking a person is one thing, falling in love is another. As of now, I'm not in love, and I'm not unhappy about it.

why limit ourselves?

Why am I still letting my past have a hold on my future? Why am I letting the fact that my legs were injured so badly in the past affect how I choose to live my life?

I should just continue to be sporty. Yes, I've decided on that. Never felt so good in a long time, running with my all while playing bball. Probably cuz its been a long time since I last played full court so I didn't know how to control my speed and just chiong-ed. At the very least I didn't feel anything wrong with my legs after all the running. I actually felt good about it.

So yeah, I've decided. I shall be more sporty! more sports, more running! and to join back tkd at the end of this term! And oh yeah, install chin-up bar at home!!

Why limit ourselves, with our past?

I want to be more selfish

than I already am? or should I say I'm not selfish enough?

There's really a whole lot of things that I want, but just cuz I wanna make everyone happy, to make certain people happy, to make someone happy, I choose to do certain things which put myself in a disadvantageous situation. Why bother? When people are not willing to do as much as what you do for them? Well well, in the first place, it is not whether you will get returns for effort you've put in. One prime example? Being so careless despite putting in so much effort. =/ Okay, that's a bad example. I'm just reckless, but yeah, you get what I mean. Sometimes, it does not pay to do good, but does that mean we should stop doing good? I'm still in the belief that one day, someone will understand the good things I do for them, and decide to reciprocate the kindness. Then when that day comes, that someone would probably be the one. But well, right now, there's no one. Maybe if we're more honest with each other, and make our feelings known, there would be less confusion. But well well, I just choose to hide my true feelings. That's not really a bad thing though. Especially in this situation.

If only we could read each others' minds. =/

How I met your mother

Aww yeah! my favourite show is back, and I've got 3 episodes of it to catch up on. All before my last mid-term paper on thursday. Guess I'm just gonna procrastinate it till last minute studying on wed night.

Haha, loved the first episode. Still as funny as ever, albeit marshall and lily were just a tad lame in this one. What caught my mind the most was the ending part where Klaus explained the two German words, Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz and Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand.

So what do these two words mean? Well, the first means the one, while the second one means the thing that is almost the thing that you want, but not quite. 

And nope, sadly, Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz has not appeared in my life. Well, even if she did, I would probably have missed it cuz I've not been thinking of that, for a long long time. Well, as for beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand, its been hits and misses here and there.

Maybe its cuz of this mentality, that I don't even bother thinking whether there's feelings whatsoever. The mentality of not wanting to be in a relationship, the mentality of not wanting to lose a friend, the mentality of "so-what". Slowly over time, it has become a mentality of not caring what happens. And now, I don't even know what I want anymore with regards to relationships. Well, well, that was confusing, and it even confuses me too.

But I really can't be bothered now. =/ Life's just giving me too much things to handle. Maybe that's why I chose the easy way, to wait for somebody to fall in love with me rather than me going after someone. Heh, if that's the case, I can see myself talking to my adopted kids, telling them "How I never met your mother".

There was this weird dream the other day where I dreamt of myself being tgt with someone, and I actually know that person. But as the situation is now, it is better that I don't even think about it. =/

The dilemma, of not wanting to be in a relationship vs needing someone there to talk to when you need it. Hmmm, well well. I guess it overlaps? The needing someone to talk to, somehow, it will make the other party feel like I want to get into a relationship, but what all I wanted was someone to talk to. 

I hope life had an easy way out, but there's never an easy way out. All the choices are tough, and the way I am now, I'm just leaving the problems to the future me. =/

生日快乐

我对自己说

one of my favourite wen lan's songs. haha. Well, yeah, happy birthday to myself. Love how I'm off fb, wun have the need to reply to every single birthday wishes. If ppl bothered to rmb, then they'll rmb. If they don't, not like it really matters to me anyways. Its just another day.

And just like any other day, the likelihood of bad things happening remains the same. And guess what, I pulled another muscle. Hurh. Luckily its not one of my leg muscle, but this time round, its the whole shoulder area to the biceps. Very very unlucky. Mounted the chin-up bar, decided to do a jump start while in the over-graft position, then heard my muscle go "kraakkk". Wtf, i immediately jumped down from the bar, and that's it, i knew it was pulled. Its still movable, but wun be able to do pushups/chinups for awhile.

Well well, its not as if its the first time. Everytime I peak my fitness for my arms, I tend to pull them some way or another, and it goes on a downward spiral cuz of lack of training. Perhaps that's why I can never pass my IPPT, always getting injured =/ Should I down PES? But I dun want ppl to have the mentality that I chao geng. I could have down PES with all the injuries I've had in the past, but well, all the years, I thought that I would be fine if I just pull through. But this is only the third year into my NSMEN life, and I'm like that already. Can't really imagine what would my fitness level be like in 7 years. =/

Well, other than that, nothing much happened today. Basically just nua-ed at home. Not even a single bit motivated to do work when I have so much due next week. Well well.

One bad thing leads, well, to another

Its been a long time I've let myself out so easily. Its been a long time that I've overthink things to such an extent. But what the heck. Just cuz of one freaking bad presentation, and now, i'm in a super sian mood.

Somebody get me out of this shit please. Just spiraling down this pit of emo-ness.

I usually use the parallel universe thingy to cheer myself up, but doesn't seem to be working this time round. Its a double-edged sword afterall. Well, the parallel universe thing goes like this:

For every decision that you make in your life, every point when you can make a choice, the universe splits, and there's an infinite number of universes out there based on all those decisions that different people make. So theoretically, there's an infinite number of universes where you are worse off than what you are feeling now in this universe, so what's the point of being emo? Sounds perfect right, but then the double edge sword comes in. There's also an infinite number of universes out there where those "you"s over there are having a better life. And you think to yourself, what the heck?

Looking back at all those decisions I've made in my life. Owell, there might be that "me" who didn't fall into the drain and broke my leg in sec sch that left me with a fk up shin for the rest of my life. That "me" would probably be running happily, and probably a national tkd player if everything went well. Then there's the "me" who was able to manage time properly, that I wouldn't neglect neither my gf nor my parents, and find it hard to keep one party happy. That me would probably have a gf of 8 years by now and looking to get married and stuff. Then there's the "me" who, owell, there's so much "me"s out there.

Sucks to be me now, this, argh, I hate this.

I just want to wake up happy tml again. =/

OBAMA, why u so cool!

Hahaha, his rebuttal against Romney was simply up there. I mean, it doesn't matter if he sucked against Romney in the debate yesterday, but it was just pure funny how he rebutted today. Poor big bird and elmo! XD

Owell, anw, back to today. Probably ended off the week with the worst possible scenario. Whole morning till afternoon was still okay. Managed to prep for my presentation while waiting for mich at the bus stop. The cooking session was okay. Didn't really like the bubur though. =/ but mian qiang had to eat 2 bowls =.= and too bad we ended up doing the bubur, not like it really matters. Its not whether its nice anw, its about how easy it is to make ba. At least out of the 3, it looks the easiest.

Then came the nightmare. Have no freaking idea why I just suddenly had this stupid mindblock while presenting for my CS mod. I just stared at the slide on the screen on the opposite side, and my mind just went blank. All the preparation that I've done previously just gone down the drain like that. Yes, I admit I probably didn't put in enough time to prep for the presentation. But, was really too held up with studying for midterms that I didn't really have time for this. =/ But still, the first time in my uni life that a mindblock affected me so badly. I just literally read off from the slides after that. Ugh, damn cui. Totally spoiled my day, a day that otherwise would feel rather okay for me.

Totally no mood to do anything now. Just sitting infront of my com, watching dota 2 streams while singing away.

Oh, and Chris Rene's new album, well, I kinda like the music, but the lyrics. Eh, so-so. I mean, so much sexual stuff, i was like, meh. The best song is probably young homie for its lyrics and music, but the rest are just like, cui lyrics. haiz. Was expecting more, but owell.

Rawr, back to self-k. ):

Should I have gone for SEP?

Owell, lets answer that question up there. YES! I'm so damn glad that I went for SEP. Only bad thing about it? I'm missing it every once in awhile. Ok, actually I start missing Europe everything I see something about Europe, be it on TV or on the Internet, or even seeing friends I've travelled around Europe with.

Then comes the dilemma, should I go back to Europe for grad trip with my EE friends, or should I explore other parts of the world by myself? It wouldn't be a grad trip if you don't travel with the friends you have studied the four years with right? But then again, we didn't really spend the past 3.5 years including this sem together. First year maybe, but second year, the group split, third year, well, was so busy with tkd and other stuff that I hardly spent time with them, then I went for SEP. And now, this sem, I don't even have any common mods with them. ): but I really wanna travel with them. But Europe again.. hmmm, well well.

Watched this tour show of Belinda travelling around Europe. Argh. ARGh. ARRRHHHHH. rawr.

Anyway, this week draws to an end. Started off pretty badly, with a rather f up FYP presentation cuz I realised how my nice-ness was once again made use of. Stolen ideas, owell. Its too late. Just have to press on I guess. Glad that everything turned for the better as the week gone by. The change in attitude was probably a factor, but glad that everything is back to normal. Tuesday & Wednesday were just awesome stay-at-home days. Managed to concentrate fully in the day to finish up revision for ACC and some revision for BI. Then went for IPPT, and surprisingly, after 1 month of not doing any upper-arm exercises, my pull-ups changed from 1 to 7. Okay, maybe cuz usually when I did, I didn't bother going up anymore after 1, but somehow on the bar ytd, hearing the electronic system counting for me, you just feel that extra bit of motivation. But then again, as always, I can never pass SBJ. Owell. This morning was even better, seeing laoda and yc early in the morning b4 the test and just talk cock for awhile made me rather relaxed. Having mich there to discuss about the test before and after somehow makes the test a less daunting task, something that has been missing for quite some time cuz of the mods I've been taking alone for the past 1 year. Glad that I'm so confident about the test that I think the least I would get is 90%, that's some confidence coming from someone who usually only puts 100% in the finals.

Compared to the week before recess week, I wld say it has gone a 180 degrees. But as another week ends, I'm getting closer to deadline day for CA2. My reluctance to start on java programming isn't really helping. I have no idea why I don't want to move on to java. Probably cuz of how I'm more interested in developing for windows phone, which is c#, and that I'm afraid that moving on to Java would make me forget about C#. Well well, C#, I have to say bye to you for a while then. My love-affair with programming languages. ):

Bday

Birthday coming, but owell, has never been one to celebrate birthdays.

I like the birthday resolutions though. And to think of stuff to get for myself, so owell, here it goes.

1) New running shoes, hopefully getting a new pair would make me want to run more!
2) Brown belt for TKD, hopefully getting that belt would make me go to trainings on saturdays.
3) New basketball, that basketball I got from my 21st has become a hairy bastard.
4) New ear phones, the one I having now, the ear loop is breaking off already. ):

Woah, that's surprisingly all I want for this year =.=

Oh, I need more discipline too. =/