what if

now the question comes back again..was stunned when this fren of mine whom i nvr tokked to for a long time asked me these qsns..

what if, u can live any second/minute/hour/day/week/month/yr of ur life again, countless times, as long as u want it?

or ur whole life?

well, i was basically stunned..i knew the answers, but i didn't tell her..since she oso dunno alot of things abt my life, so i guess there was no point answering her..

well, so i answering it here..lols..so here it goes..i'll start from second..

the second..hmmm..i guess it's the moment i looked at her in the eyes, it's the kind of moment when u can sense the love u haf for each other..but that was rather long ago..hmmm..still can rmm even after 4 yrs ba..

well, for the minute..it's the minute, when she agreed to be together with me..though it was only for a month, i noe i was happy..that minute, i guess, was the best minute in my life..

the hour, of cuz it's the hour when i confessed to her and she took like an hour to reply..we knew the answer already..jus that she was stuck at her grandma's hse..and somehow the internet connection sux and in the end had to settle it thru sms..and that, was really sweet..can see how nervous she was although it was jus a msg..the moment when she msged and said..wad u think leh?the moment i confessed to her, was rather funny actually..cuz we alr knew wad was in each other's minds..but i guess we rushed it abit too fast..end up, we rushed into the relationship without really knowing that much abt each other..without me sure abt the feelings i have for her..only to realise in the end when we were about to break up, that i love her, more than i loved the first..it was then that i realised..i dun love the firz anymore, the only one i loved during that period of time, was just her, and my mom, dad, and siblings..but she jus had to misunderstand me b4 i cld actually tell her how much i love her..all was too late..hmmm..guess i wandered a bit too far from the "hour"

well, movin on, the day..of cuz it's 6thMarch2004..the only date in my life other than my bday, her bday, my family members' bday that wld matter so much to me in my life that up to this date i still can't forget abt it..that i even wrote a song abt it.. can go www.fallenreasonsongs.blogspot.com if u wanna look at the lyrics..lols..that day, when the hour, the minute is all in the same day..i jus wanna live it all over again..

the month..hmmm..i'll be greedy abit and make it 2 months..and it'll start from 7thFeb to 7thApr2004..why?firz of all..it includes the day, hour, minute and second..secondly, 7thFeb..when i firz knew she existed..yes, i've seen her alot of times..but didn't really took notice of her..that day..i knew how fun a person she was..alot of things happened that night..became her papa..lols..msged her alot..lols..jus happy..cuz that time..my relationship with the firz was already going down the hill..i shld haf known, but i chose to ignore it..until 14thFeb when evrything i thot wld happen really did happen..basically all bad stuff..all was going fine except for the fact that i didn't c my firz the whole day, didn't talk to her the whole day..and it was valentine's day..at 11pm that night, when i tot i cld slp..an email came from her..i was happy, afterall, didn't talk the whole day..and guess wad, it wasn't realli an email that cld make me happy..it made me cry..and the firz person i told, was my second..within that 7 days..i told her so much that evrything that happened between me and my firz for the past 3 yrs..she knew it all..and she was there to talk to me..and thruout the month, all the way until that day..it was basically picking myself up, healing my wounds by talking to her..then i realised she can make me happy and that the feelings were mutual, not jus one sided..so i told her on that day..that one month of dating that followed..very few things happened but was still happy..until she broke up ba..

well, for the yr, there was nvr a single yr that i was happy thruout..so i guess i'll jus make it 2004, cuz basically..it was the yr alot of happy things happened..but oso the saddest things in my life oso happened this yr..but was meaningful for me..and that yr..after the breakup, it was jus endless regrets and sadness..

as for the lifetime..i wld rather not live it again..but if i can change one thing, i will nvr let u leave me..nvr, ever..cuz after 4 yrs..i still love u..

i'm not emo, jus that the qsns made me think alot..and made me decide to write all this down on the blog..