Every right to hate, you apologized too late.
All the pain i loathe, you do not deserve my love.
Rot together with earth, and witness hatred's birth.
For you will hear bells, that lead your soul to hell.
Awaken to your destiny, destiny of hatred.
We were born to hate, we cried the moment we lived.
shall continue...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
So..
And so, 2nd week of nus. Getting used to it bit by bit. So far, its all been sec sch stuff durin maths and physics, and surprisingly engineering lectures. Boring me out. But i guess just have to take it in slowly, there's always acceleration before you can up one gear.
Lately, been hooked on to DMC, not devil may cry, it was a nice game and all..ya, but the DMC i'm referring to is Detroit Metal City. Satanic and vulgar stuff aside, it really is a funny manga, and somehow reflects the society as a whole. My thought after reading the manga was, there's a krauser in every good person, and at the same time, there's a good side to every krauser. Basically, what i'm saying is, humans as a whole, are two sided people. On the surface, they might be nice guys, innocent, but deep down inside, there's always a side of him/her that is evil, that scolds people, that feels unhappy about life. Then, there are evil people, born to do evil, like to do evil, but deep down inside, there's surely someone they care for, be it their parents, friends, loved ones. To every evil in one's heart, there's bound to be a good side to it deep down inside, to balance it out. There's no absolute evil, nor absolute goodness, that is what humans are, if not, we are not humans.
While on my way back home today, I was thinking, why does everything in life makes it easier to do evil, than to do good. When things happen, normally if you let it happen by itself, it'll make your actions seem evil, and in order to be good, you have to force yourself to do it. Seems that being evil is the easy way out. But, i would rather force myself to do good.
who do i love? what do i want? i'm confused, totally. No matter how hard i try, the one that talks to me more seems like an almost impossible task, i mean, it seems like its better to be friends, than to go back to what we were. The feelings are mutual, no matter how much we may still long for each other's company, we've already learnt that if we got together, it would only bring pain, or rather, disagreements. As much as i still like you, i think its best for us to remain what we are, friends, with me caring for you, wanting to protect you, but knowing that one day, the guy standing next to you in the church as your groom wouldn't be me. I'm still wishing that it would be me, but its just not possible i guess. I can only wish you the best for the next 6 months while you're not here. You'll be missed, by many, but not as much as being missed by me. Damn, why do i still like you this much?
The other one, the one who only likes to answer questions i ask, i do not know my feelings. I do not know what kind of future i want for us. Its ok to remain as friends, but the unknown future just makes you want to try to grasp it. I guess it can't be helped that i want to be more than just friends with you.
Who do i like? Who do i love? I guess its pretty obvious, but everything, its just too hard. Its all about courage, to tell her i love her the second time, or to start something special and new with someone whom i'm interested in. These answers, i can't answer, for i am not all-knowing. I can only wish, that whatever happens, that I could be happy about the result, and that you and you can be happy, even if i'm not the guy by your side.
Lately, been hooked on to DMC, not devil may cry, it was a nice game and all..ya, but the DMC i'm referring to is Detroit Metal City. Satanic and vulgar stuff aside, it really is a funny manga, and somehow reflects the society as a whole. My thought after reading the manga was, there's a krauser in every good person, and at the same time, there's a good side to every krauser. Basically, what i'm saying is, humans as a whole, are two sided people. On the surface, they might be nice guys, innocent, but deep down inside, there's always a side of him/her that is evil, that scolds people, that feels unhappy about life. Then, there are evil people, born to do evil, like to do evil, but deep down inside, there's surely someone they care for, be it their parents, friends, loved ones. To every evil in one's heart, there's bound to be a good side to it deep down inside, to balance it out. There's no absolute evil, nor absolute goodness, that is what humans are, if not, we are not humans.
While on my way back home today, I was thinking, why does everything in life makes it easier to do evil, than to do good. When things happen, normally if you let it happen by itself, it'll make your actions seem evil, and in order to be good, you have to force yourself to do it. Seems that being evil is the easy way out. But, i would rather force myself to do good.
who do i love? what do i want? i'm confused, totally. No matter how hard i try, the one that talks to me more seems like an almost impossible task, i mean, it seems like its better to be friends, than to go back to what we were. The feelings are mutual, no matter how much we may still long for each other's company, we've already learnt that if we got together, it would only bring pain, or rather, disagreements. As much as i still like you, i think its best for us to remain what we are, friends, with me caring for you, wanting to protect you, but knowing that one day, the guy standing next to you in the church as your groom wouldn't be me. I'm still wishing that it would be me, but its just not possible i guess. I can only wish you the best for the next 6 months while you're not here. You'll be missed, by many, but not as much as being missed by me. Damn, why do i still like you this much?
The other one, the one who only likes to answer questions i ask, i do not know my feelings. I do not know what kind of future i want for us. Its ok to remain as friends, but the unknown future just makes you want to try to grasp it. I guess it can't be helped that i want to be more than just friends with you.
Who do i like? Who do i love? I guess its pretty obvious, but everything, its just too hard. Its all about courage, to tell her i love her the second time, or to start something special and new with someone whom i'm interested in. These answers, i can't answer, for i am not all-knowing. I can only wish, that whatever happens, that I could be happy about the result, and that you and you can be happy, even if i'm not the guy by your side.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
new song?
while thinking about that song of hatred that i wanted to write, i came up with these few verses, or rather a hatred poem. But knowing me, it'll probably end up as lyrics for the song. here goes :
Every right to hate, you apologized too late.
All the pain i loathe, you do not derserve my love.
Rot together with earth, and witness hatred's birth.
For you will hear bells, that lead your soul to hell.
getting satanic eh? I dunno, but now, i just wanna concentrate on my studies, whereas my hatred towards you, its just part of my life. =D
Every right to hate, you apologized too late.
All the pain i loathe, you do not derserve my love.
Rot together with earth, and witness hatred's birth.
For you will hear bells, that lead your soul to hell.
getting satanic eh? I dunno, but now, i just wanna concentrate on my studies, whereas my hatred towards you, its just part of my life. =D
Sunday, August 09, 2009
wth
NOT AGAIN!? maybe its just a random thing, maybe the fondness is just because there's some common interests. Do i like her? I dunno, but i would rather not? ARGH!? WHY!?
Suddenly school gonna start! LOL! But so many things i wanna do, with so little time left. Anyways, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
Suddenly school gonna start! LOL! But so many things i wanna do, with so little time left. Anyways, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
naive, again.
It's amazing how people can turn naive when they have a single bit of hope injected into their life. I know I shouldn't have trusted anyone, not a single bit. I can't stand your shit anymore, you don't have any remorse at all. What do you mean by when you said i nvr asked the qsn b4? What do you expect? I'm pissed. I told you the truth, all the things that you should have known. I knew i was hating you, and I still do now, afterall, why should I not hate someone who does not realise the mistake lies in her own actions in the past. If you did not make a mistake in the first place, that is making me love you for 2.5 years, why the hell did I need to lie to you? Why did I even freakin care for you? Why did I even think that I had a part to do with you not being together with anyone in the past 7 years? Like someone told me, it's just you and your inability to let go of the past that made you like that. You can't forgive yourself, it has to do with you and what you think. Nothing to do with me at all. Why did I even care? Why did I not just hate you on forever? Why did I even feel for you again? Why did I even wished for your happiness? Why did I even wanted to make a promise that I would try my best to make you happy? Why did I even think that you would bother to reply? Why did I even tell you everything? WHY THE HELL DO I HATE YOU?
The answers to all these, is pretty simple. Your words are like the curses of a witch, able to make someone enchanted, able to make someone pity you. You made me think about the past, you made me think that I had a part to do with whatever sad things are happening to you. Man, I was naive, very naive. I will never ever trust you again. Never. I will not trust so easily again. I was hurt again, and I don't want to be, anymore. Go live your own life. If you can't forgive me, I don't see why I have to. The pain you did to me was much more than whatever I have done. If you never liked me, that lie means nothing at all. In fact, it just goes to show you never liked/loved who I was. You decided to like me simply because we had that one similarity, which was a lie I had no choice but to continue with. There was nothing between us, except a simple lie.
I shall not trust again, never. Not the likes of you.
The answers to all these, is pretty simple. Your words are like the curses of a witch, able to make someone enchanted, able to make someone pity you. You made me think about the past, you made me think that I had a part to do with whatever sad things are happening to you. Man, I was naive, very naive. I will never ever trust you again. Never. I will not trust so easily again. I was hurt again, and I don't want to be, anymore. Go live your own life. If you can't forgive me, I don't see why I have to. The pain you did to me was much more than whatever I have done. If you never liked me, that lie means nothing at all. In fact, it just goes to show you never liked/loved who I was. You decided to like me simply because we had that one similarity, which was a lie I had no choice but to continue with. There was nothing between us, except a simple lie.
I shall not trust again, never. Not the likes of you.
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