its never easy

I never said it would be easy. I never said I was 100% confident. But whatever that's up there, wouldn't even let it fall in that little bit of area that I call chance. Its like tossing a coin, but you already know its going to land on tails.

I'm not going to give up though. I'm past that. I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to do my best to let you see the good side of me, so that from friends, we can become more than friends. So that one day, you'll tell me, "yes". And that's the word I want to hear from you the next time I ask you the same question again. Never give up, that's my new motto.

After what happened tonight, or rather in the evening, I went for a run at night, around 10pm, past the usual timing I run, but nonetheless, it helped a lot. I suddenly remembered why I loved running, not because of how it is able to keep me fit (though that will forever hold true), it lets me forget about things, it lets me forget about the shackles on my life, and remember that life is still full of freedom. As long as we take the chance, nothing is impossible, as long as you don't give up before you reach the finishing point. Many a times, in my life, I've given up before I've reached the finishing line, but its because of this process of giving up, I've learnt so much from it, and I find myself being able to run longer distances, do different things, doing things the way I want them to, having the courage to tell her how I felt for her. So many things, as a person, I've grown. I used to like this song called "It ends tonight". I still like it a lot, especially just now, when it kept me running for the full 10km while putting it on loop. But it holds a whole new different meaning to me now. It used to be a song where after I hear it, I'll go, "yeah, that's it, it ends tonight". But now, its different. The feeling I get is, yes, it ends tonight, but tomorrow is a whole new chapter of life for me to write on, and it depends on how I would write the chapter. I'll keep writing, I'll never give up.

I've never felt this comfortable with a person before. I've had moments where I thought some people are special in my life, but none of them could reach this level of feelings I have for you right now. It won't change, I hope it never will, but I hope your feelings will, that you would one day no longer see me as just a friend, but as someone special in your life too. You're special to me, that's how I feel, and I'll never give up, weiling. (: But just like you said, we'll see how it goes.