stuck

"if only"..that's my fave phrase..


i noe i can't turn back time..i noe i shld move on..but i can't..


i'm stuck in the past..seeing the past, feeling the past..yet..i noe it's all gone and i'm living in the present..


my naiveness?mebbe..or perhaps i'm juz unable to accept the fact tat u left..if i can..i wldn't cry..i'm juz feeling weak..


perhaps i've done something wrong..by letting go by someone who loved me..i always thot it's always better to let someone love me more than i love her..afterall, i've been thru so many times that i loved her more than she loved me..so y did i give up?perhaps, i'm juz better when i love someone more than she loves me..i juz can't accept the fact that i can't give her wad she gave me..so i gave up..


when i started writing the song, "living on, moving on, without you"..i was able to write it out..as in..ideas come to my mind..cuz at that time, i realli wanted to move on without L..but then came erhemx..i was too happy to actualli write that song..so i stopped writing..cuz ideas didn't come..it's a sad song eh?then it became a roller coaster ride..tears were shed..by her..and after a while, when evrything seemed juz fine..somehow that stupid chat log appeared..and i read it..fark it..so i gave up..and decided to live in the past..and of cuz, how can i be able to write that song animore..so haiz..dammit..too bad..


i..argh..i dunno..