我不配

I did a lot, I tried...a lot. So much so that, I've come to realise, what I've been doing, and no matter what I can do, it'll never be enough for you. Simply put, its becuz of what you see up there as the title. 我不配.

Or rather, the both of us 不配? There's always that something missing when I tried to click. We seem to be only able to talk when you're in a good mood? Only when you want to talk, that you will really talk to me?

Other than that, whenever I needed someone to talk to, I tot, hey, maybe I could talk to you since you had talked to me about your problems before. But no, you were just, another person on my msn contact list that wouldn't bother to listen to me when I talk to you. You're either busy watching your dramas/blog hopping, that you can't even bother to take a little bit of your time out to listen to what I've got to say.

And to think that back then, when you had problems, when you needed my help, I would just take my time out to help you, even when it was the exam period and I really should have been studying. But yeah, I guess that's just me. It didn't need to be you, if it was anyone else, I would have probably did the same if whatever it is is within my powers. And I guess that's why I failed to make you feel that you're a special someone to me since I treat everyone the same, and in particular, I treat a certain friend better than I do to you. But am I really to blame, when its you who made me feel that you didn't really need me, you had plenty of choices, I'm just another one who was willing to listen.

Then comes the age-old saying of mine, "stop being a nice guy". If anyone has bothered to read my posts consistently, they would realise that this is something I always say.

Am I not nice enough to you? Perhaps you never felt the way I felt. Or that you simply never tried to understand who I was, and to you, I was just someone who would be there if you needed me, but someone whom you'll never come to rescue when I fall into this bottomless pit called, "in love with you".