hmmm

Was contemplating whether I should even blog this post considering that its already so late. But with the pattern of sleeping late these few days, I guess its not gonna change much if I sleep late tonight either.

Haven't been training recently, so doubt I would be able to make it for standchart. Totally disappointed in myself, for not having the discipline to go out there for my runs. Not mature enough to tell myself, "hey, its alright to emo, but you still need to sleep by 11 if you wish to run the next day." But no, I didn't. I continued to play games past 1am, when I get back to my room, I'm probably going to take out a book and read.

I just have no freaking idea what's wrong with me these days. So easy to get angsty. Many times, I just wished I had pointed the finger at the credit card promoter. I know, you're just doing your job, but its not the first time already. If i'm not interested then I'm not interested. Do I look like i'm rich to you? How many times must I use the "my favourite song" trick before you can just get the hell out of my way.

And anyway, really, I'm beginning to dread going for work. Although its really just 1 and a half weeks left, but everyday at work, the hours seem to get longer and the time seems to pass even slower. I thought I had already done my part with the GUI and stuff, and I've been helping out alot with the Wallaby logistics. But why the hell do I even have more stuff coming in for me to do? If only the NTU IA student came, I wouldn't haven been having such troubles. I would happily enjoy my last 2 weeks of work at STK instead of trying to get 4 days off for these 2 weeks. I really need the break, not from work, but from STK.

I realised, I'm the kind of guy who only does work that I'm really interested in. I was freaking excited about designing the GUI, so that was why I had so much fun in the first 2 months trying to design a proper one. But once that was finished, it all died down. The flame in me, I couldn't feel it anymore. The new stuff to do, integrating the laser detection or even the adding of the camera to the GUI, seriously, I have no interest in all these whatsoever. First of all, the laser detection, having to wire it up myself, having to read through a manual, and HAVING TO TRY TO GET IT TO WORK WHEN I CAN'T EVEN INSTALL A PROPER SOFTWARE FOR IT! Ya, but really, I don't like doing the laser. Neither do I like doing the camera thing. If I really put my heart into it, I could probably finish up the camera thing within 1 day. But really, no. I can't stand it anymore. I had fun doing the data log sorting program cuz of how it reminded me of cs1101c where u read in a text file and only copy lines that don't have alphabets. That, I enjoyed. But that, I did way too fast. Started on it at around 2pm, published the app at 2.30pm. Too fast? Probably, but that's my efficiency when it comes to things I like to do. Even for the GUI, if I really had to, I could have done it within 3 days. If you ask me whether I enjoyed my internship, when it comes to working, probably not. I'm just an intern, but I'm expected to do the stuff that a perm stuff is supposed to do? There's no one to supervise my work, no one there to help me out when I don't understand certain stuff when it comes to programming. What the heck, and I was pretty happy when I finished up the GUI on my own. But then, my supervisor had to pile up even more work on me!? I really can't stand it anymore. Really. I'm just so glad that this will all be over soon, in like 2 weeks. I don't mind going back to STK to work in the future, as a perm staff, but never as an intern again.