Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4

Yan sent me this, how true, and how wise these words are. The difficulties in life only make us stronger, for if we can persevere, then we shall get pass these difficulties as stronger men, for then, would we have known how to deal with such difficulties if the do arise once more.

Yeah, so was in malaysia for the past 3 days, laughter and tears, that's how I would summarise the trip. Laughter for it was a joyous occasion, the marriage of my sister. Tears for the sadness that came about when I saw how old and weak my grandma has become. For 3 years, I've not went back to penang, to visit my relatives. And well, people do change fast, and 3 years have been indeed a long time for things to happen. People grow old, people grow weak, hearts may grow stronger, but at last, it is something that we must learn to let go at times. For no one can be there forever, and eventually everyone has to return to their resting place. It is at times like this that I couldn't forgive myself for not being able to let my grandparents see me grow up. Being jealous of how people could live with their grandparents.

ah well, i'm tired, shall blog more about the emo stuff when I dun feel that tired.

And yeah, it has been long since I had lunch with her, and i'm glad we're still friends, after all that has happened. And I'm happy too, that you've learnt to let go, for there was nothing to hold on to in the first place.

After that, went to meet up with yi yan to pick up my rock band from her house. Cui, got lost, when I was trying to get to parkway parade from ecp. Ended up at bedok reservoir road. hahaha, cui. Then picked her up at parkway parade, parents not home yet, so we decided to go to library. AND~ we found ourselves in changi area. HAHA. cui, someone was so confident when i asked her if she was sure. "I'm sure that its this way" attitude. hahaha. Cui, then yea, so made our way back to jurong east, slowly, haha. Then yeah, borrowed some books, 2 more tolkien books to read! =D and jane eyre by charlotte bronte thanks to yan's recommendations. hahaha. So after that went back to her place to wait for her mom to come back.

and yeah, now i'm back home, reading "Children of hurin" by tolkien! =D super nice. hahah. ok, shall continue reading then..

I have so much to say, but so little time to blog. =.=, shall blog more when i come back from penang. To cut the long story short, thank you yiyan for letting us enjoy a wonderful countdown cum steamboat @ your place. Really enjoyed it, and you're a very safe driver, hahaha, no worries! =D just drive like you always do and everything will be fine. Just, rest more k? hahaha. @qitong, glad you liked the surprises. hahaha, must take care of the z monster k? =))

Although the whole year was full of up and downs, it ended on a high, and i'm glad and happy. One of the best countdowns I ever had. =)) although not really a countdown. hahaha. okies, and YAN! let's sing more nxt time. hahaha. ur singing rocks! XD, really, u sing very well..hahaha

There was one thing though, that I'm still unable to let go of the chocolate thingy, but i'll try my best, really.

Thank you everyone who had helped made 2009 an enjoyable year for me, and I hope you all can continue to bless me with your kindness and happiness, for I feel fortunate to have friends such as you all. And a wonderful family too. May 2010 be a great year ahead for all of us too. Thank you! Goodbye! cya all on 4th JAN!!! =)

YNWA

I'm glad i stayed up to watch this match. A torres goal in injury time, that's all that was needed. TORRES! XD

sorry to yiyan, lol, i'm not setting a good example by staying up until 545 heh? =P

我想我已懂得，爱情不是一个人就能够吟唱出的幸福旋律

working in progress...

AC2

Completed AC2 today. Cui, dunno wad to say. The ending was just, very unexpected, with desmond saying wtf at the end of the game. Just epic ending, in the failure way. I'm expecting a third though. hahaha

Had a wierd dream after that, super wierd. Shall just summarise into after-thoughts. Who do I really want to save? I can't say for sure, only thing i find wierd is. Why am I hesitating? Is it because I still have feelings for her? Or is it because I've done the one thing that I always told myself not to do?

I have no idea what is going on with me now. Such confusion. I thought I had it all sorted out. But at the end of the day, my roots got hold of me, preventing myself from flying away. Will I actually fall in love? I really don't think so. The only one thought that stops me from doing all that? I will never fall for anyone again, cuz it only brings pain and sadness. Unless I am sure that the feelings are mutual, I will not fall for anyone again. Never, cuz I want to stop the pain, to stop hurting myself.

What is it that I want, I do not know. Only thing I can say is, I just dunno howta be selfish, therefore, I always end up alone. But, its fine, isn't it?

Many a times

Many a times, I've been left thinking, what have I been fighting for? I've fought for all the things that I thought was right, fought for my own justice, fought for things I've believed in. However, many a times, I've been let down by all those things I've fought so hard for, makes you wonder, what have you been doing all these while. Then, I came to a conclusion, for I did not set my priorities right. Fighting for things that were not worth fighting for, things that resulted in me thinking, why did I work so hard to fail? Then there are those things that make you wonder, why didn't I work hard for that to make it better, so that I wouldn't feel this bad now.

No use regretting, the only way is to move forward. Many a times, I've taken things for granted, things that have been gifted upon me by whatever supreme being there is up there. My abilities, my talents, wonderful friends around me. I've let all these down, never once did I learn to appreciate the many things I have in life. Its only now, that I wish, that its not too late yet, to make full use of the many things I have in life, to make my life better, to make the world a better place.

I have always been one to think that our destiny is in our own hands. But on too many occasions, I have wondered, is that really true? The many coincidences in life, the many repeated failures, makes you wonder, there might just be the hands of fate pulling the strings behind the scenes, and I'm just a puppet in this sad show of mine to entertain everyone else except for me. But its also because of this realisation, that I saw how I have not used all those things gifted to me to make situations better.

Its not too late, for I believe, that I'm born to do something, born to make a difference, and for that, I'll fight on, for the things I believe in, but at the same time, to prioritise the things I fight for. No longer will I fight for things that do not hold a value at all. It would just be a waste of time. For I know what I want, therefore, I will never be confused.

Wish List

The following was my cny wishlist. hahaha, shall reflect back on wadeva that i wanted and to think of wad i want to achieve in 2010.


2009 wishlist(copied from previous post):
1) Guitar Hero: World Tour / ROCK BAND 2!!!(whichever is cheaper that is.)
2) Prince of Persia? (if i finish dmc4 cuz i'm still too engrossed in pes 2009)
3) Laptop (vaio/macbook/fujitsu/BLAH - anything that's cheap and good!!!hahaha)
4) A finisher tee from sundown marathon (if not waste the 60 bucks for signing up)
5) A poster of liverpool winning the league in 2009
6) air tickets to anfield to watch any home match? (anyone can sponsor? haha, this is seriously a wish!)
7) PES 2010 when it comes out at the end of the year, cuz 2009 still has its flaws.
8) a girlfriend who's a liverpool fan? LOL

(1) Still haven't gotten one yet, but should be getting guitar hero
(2) Now is all about AC2. hahaha
(3) HP!!!
(4) YEAH!
(5) =(
(6) No one sponsor yet
(7) GOT IT!
(8) hai..

ok, so i haven even got half of it done yet, and 2009's coming to an end already. obviously 5,6 and 8's not gonna happen this year. Might not even happen at all. But life's all about working towards your goals, so, I won't stop. Nothing can stop me, I'll keep walking, even if its a loner path, i'm sure it'll cross someone's path one day. I'll hold her hands, and tell her how much I love her, and I'll never let her hands go. O wells, if only one such person comes by. hahaha.

So, what have I been doing these past few days? Moving house! so tiring, cleaning up, packing up, unpacking. CUI! so tired. hahaha, but can't wait to start living there.

And the main reason for blogging? cuz yiyan was telling me about reflections and stuff, and hmmm, o wells, did some reflections for myself too.

First of all, am I really as nice a person as I think I am? I'm not sure, I always try to be nice, but sometimes, when certain stuff take over, emo-ness for example, I just don't feel like talking anymore. Keyword here, "try". So as a matter of fact, I'm not really that nice heh?

Next, I don't really open up myself to others, no one really noes wad i'm thinking, cuz I dun really like to tell. Anti-social behaviour? Probably. I'm fine with it though, loner behaviour, but I guess, to maintain frenships, I really have to open up, to let others noe wad I'm thinking. Something I've been trying so hard to do, something that I think I can see a slight glimpse of improvement.

hmmm, shall reflect more on new year day, hahaha, a bit tired now.

reason is tired, like, super tired, emotionally & physically.