This whole past week has been hell of a week. On one end, I can't seem to figure out why a friendship that was going so well could change over just 3(?) days. On the other hand, this step-away from her for the past 2 days have made me realise how dependent on her I was, in terms of looking for someone to talk to. Perhaps cuz she was around for 3 out of 7 days a week, that's why it felt that its only perfectly normal to talk to her when I needed someone to talk to. Maybe it wasn't my fault at all, but its only me to feel this way. That no matter what, I'm somehow the one at fault. Maybe that's why I kept apologizing. But I guess it doesn't really matter right now. I've lost a friend that I thought would be there for me for life. I guess I was wrong.
No one can always be there for you for life. 但是天总会黑，人总要离别，谁也不能永远陪谁.
I guess, no matter how close you feel you are to someone, there's always a need for some space in between, before one of the two breaks down, and stuff like these happen. Lesson learnt, but lost a good friend in the process. Its a pity things will never be the same again. I'll miss the random banters, the random conversations, the random cravings for korean food and everything that was fun. Thank you, and sorry. I know you may not read this, but Michelle Lim, I'm truly sorry.
Also, I realised how long I've been missing out on my "me" time. There has been rather little time for me to think for myself. It has been all about hanging out with friends, friends, friends and friends this whole while. So what do I want? I want to run. Run off the stress, run off whatever that hurts in life. But the thing that really hurts me, is the fact that I'm actually told not to run. I still wanna give it a push though. Try for this year's marathon, it may well be my last, but if I don't try, I'll never know how far my legs can bring me. Its sad that the things I love to do all involve the legs, and my legs are the most injured part of my body. Knee cartilage injury, hairline cracks on both shins, ankle that easily sprains. But I still want to kick on and run on. That's what I really want.
On a side note, the whole missing Europe thing is reaching such a bad point, that I'm actually feeling the need to get off facebook, get off 9gag, get off everything that is online, just so that I wouldn't miss Europe that bad. Ah, the good times. But, seriously. Stop thinking.
Recess week, time for some serious work to be done.
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