dammit

dammit..wad the hell is this....u wanna go where go aniwhere u want..i dun gif a fark..but dun do this kinda thing..dammit..i juz feel like scolding fark..o..i scolded it above..


i dun realli gif a damn alr..it's me to scold vulgarities..juz me to do these kinda of things..so fark it..i'm realli farked off by u for now..dammit


no matter wad i do..i guess it doesn't realli make any diff now..so y do i gif a fark..no i dun gif a fark..I SHALL NOT GIF A FARK..


i dun c wad i can do..only gif up..that's the only way i can find light..cuz i noe there's someone at the other end waiting..and i shldn't let her down..


this is wad happens when u noe u've got something to fall back on..u can think of giving up very easily..but wtf..will i realli do it?that's another qsn..


at least try b4 giving up..that's wad i told myself..but things are contradicting..sometimes i wld juz think of giving up..but i wld think of wad if i regret in future..but wld i?wadeva..


and i dun wanna go back to last time yet..not yet..in case u think i'm treating u as a substitute..whihc i dun want to..

u juz dun wanna tok to me eh?wadeva..i'm kinda used to it alr..somehow..i knew this wld happen..that u wld choose not to reply me..but wad's this hole in my heart..this emptiness..this feeling of wanting to cry out loud..shout ur name..argh..wad's this..keep on drinking water..trying to fill up this hole..but it's still empty..wad's wrong with u..wad's wrong with me?


time to gif up?


yes..shld be ba..no hopes at all..i realli can't stand it animore..6wks le la..who can stand it i ask u..well..perhaps others can stand it..but for me..i realli can't..6wks is realli too overboard le..i oso dunno wad i've done to make u do this to me..i nvr understand y gals do certain things..and i'm not bothered to find out..it's beyond my comprehension..thinking abt it will juz waste my time..when i can actualli spend my time on studies..i realli wanna study..so..


gif up ba..NO?


argh..wad's wrong..y can't i gif up..argh..dammit..f u yuan ing

o..wad!?

hmmmz..wad's wrong manz..how come i decided to alight at nj..i oso dunno..juz go c how things are going on ba..


3 more days..will i tell her?haiz..

wtF!!!

KAOZ!!!some ppl only noe howta cry..am i being too harsh or wad huh?argh..i kenna dao for one month plus u oso din c me cry..i only tok to u less u cry..kaoz..wad u thinking la..i care 4 u..but not like b4..we are not like b4 animore..mebbe we can be like b4..but now..sorry..no..perhaps if we can return to the past, u wun be that sad..i guess u have regretted doing wad u've done.but this is all part and parcel in our life..we live to regret..but that's where we learn..hmmmz..i can tell that to others but not myself..


but aniwaes..if u think u wun regret holding on to me..then so be it..i hope i can gif u the happiness u want..but who wld gimme the happiness i need..mebbe if i gif u the happiness u want..then i wld be happy oso..but..i noe it wld be happier if i can get the love of a gal i truly like..i juz treat u as a sister..not someone i like..thanx for all u've done for me in the past..but ppl needta grow up..stop crying..be strong..i'm ur kor..not ur dear..


argh..wadeva..dunno wad i'm doing..liking someone so much to an extent that i dun care abt others le..haiz..i guess i'm too harsh to her ya..haiz..arghh..wad to do?can there be 2 me(s)?lol..then i can gif her the happiness she wants and find my own happiness as well..i noe..we were happy b4..but u think we wld be as happy as b4 if we get back together?it wld take a long time to get back to where we were..so i dun wanna try..given the fact that u can actualli break anitime again..so sorry..but u're juz making me more confused now..let this matter cool down firz pls?we shld tok things out in a peaceful manner..dun always call and start crying..


hmmm..today..aiya..dunno la..i wldn't say it's a good day..dunno y..juz dun feel happy..but not sad at all!lol..wad is this..confusion..haiz..pika pika???LOL

i juz can't stand things liddat

argh..one thing i can't stand abt u is that u do things differently from wad u say..u were the one that said, "perhaps i shld tok to u less now, so that my feelings for u wld fade away." but guess wad..once again..u didn't do wad u say..i tot u realli wanna tok to me less le..so today didn't receive any msg from u i oso dun feel wierd..even if u didn't say that, i wldn't feel wierd tho..but u juz called again and told me sorry that u didn't tok to me the whole day cuz u didn't bring ur phone!?argh..kaoz la..pls..if u realli wanna let the feelings fade away..do so..dun ill-treat urself..i noe it's hard..but it's right for u to do so..if u realli wanna wait for me..it wld be a long wait..and i dun want u to do so..and i'm going into ns nxt yr le la..with ur over-dependent character, u think u can survive 2 yrs without me?i suppose it wun last..if u realli wanna wait for me..by then, u muz show me ur determination..i mite hurt u u noe..and i dun wanna do that..dun u think we juz remain as bro-sis frenship better than becoming a couple?i oso dun want to lose this frenship..so y not let it stay as frenz..good for u..good for me..wld u rather lose a fren+relationship or juz lose a relationship..the choice is urs..juz let go pls..if ur heart realli hurts..juz choose to let go..dun become like me..cuz i can't let go..that's y i became so pessimistic abt life..i dun want u to lead a sad life like me..i want u to be happy..


but i noe u still wun read this..i guess i have to tell u personally..and u wld most prob cry again..but..argh..y waste ur tears on me..am i realli that worthy of ur love?


and i dun get a shit of wad's exactly happening now..this dao-ing continues..i realli can't stand it..one side..one gal is dao-ing me like hell..the other side..another gal is tokking to me so much..argh..WAD THE SHIT IS THIS!?


argh..bt2 coming..set high goals for myself..but are they achievable?that depends on how much hard work i put in..hope i wun end up sitting in front of the com and playing games..tsk

y?

i asked her..y are u treating me so good?


she replied..cuz i like doing that..


wad's going thru her mind manz..i realli dun understand gals..


the better she treat me..the more guilt i feel..she's not expecting anithing..she's juz plainly treating me good..am i actualli letting her down?she's not smiling..i guess she's sad..well who wldn't be..if it was me..i wld be sad too..


if..argh..nvm

seriously

stop it pls..the more u care for me..the more i feel sorry..seems like true love to me..even tho it's one-sided..izzit that if i'm happy u wld be happy?dilema..


one side, a girl i like dao me..the other side..a gal i liked b4 still likes me..haiz..


wad is this..her sorrows i noe..i understand..cuz i'm oso feeling the same way..liking a person who does not like her..but her perseverance..i dun get it..if u were the one who wanted to break..y didn't u give it a clean break..or did u do it juz becuz u dun want me to love the wrong person..i realli dun understand..


but aniwaes..she's realli still not replying my email..i oso dunno wad to do..sms dao..email oso dao..nuthing to say liaoz..

eh?

it took me all the courage to click on that send button to sent that email..and i guess..it took u nothing to delete it eh?or perhaps u juz saw but decided not to reply..either way..i'm realli lost now..not knowing wad to do..if u can serve frenster..i dun c y u can't check email..so i guess, realli..u've decided not to do anithing abt it at all..


tell me wad to do..i realli dunno..i realli dunno wad else i can say..juz confess?wadeva..wad if u do the same thing again..and dun reply at all..


seriously..i didn't noe wad to do..i was afraid to c ur reply..yet..my com..it's stupid prob.since afternoon i juz can't switch it on..then now finally can on it..yet..no reply..mebbe that's good.no news means good news?nah..that's not the case this time..even as i said that..u juz decided not to reply..wadeva..wad more can i say..disappointed..can i scold the f word?but dun want la..i can't even bring my heart to scold u..i juz can't..i juz can't blame u..or hate u..cuz u're not a fault..or even if u're at fault..i wldn't think u're..y?i oso dunno..


i can't bring myself to tell her(another her) to forget abt me..i realli can't believe..someone like her can be so devoted to someone like me..she was the one who wanted to break up..she was the one who said i still love 6thMarch..yet..she still loves me..i juz can't bear to break her heart..she's a sweet gal..too good for me..i'm unworthy..cuz back then..i noe my love for her wasn't real..yet i tried to carry on..mebbe it's good that we didn't last..but bad for her..cuz she loves a guy who doesn't love her..somehow..i share the same sentiments with her..i noe wad's she's going thru..even when u noe that the person u like or love wun love u back or like u back..u still choose to love or like her..even when it's one-sided..


i apologise to her..the one heart that i've broken..i'll nvr forget that i've broken ur heart..but till now..and only till now..can i realli regard u as my ex..third ex..cuz we were realli once happy..we both knew it was real..juz that i didn't love u enuff..thanx for loving me so much..but sorry..dun hold on to me pls..i realli dun wanna break ur heart..i can't bring myself to tell u this in person..i noe u mite read this..i guess it wld be better if u read it from here rather than me telling u personally..


i thank you..for being there for me..even when i do not love u..thankx for being there when i'm feeling down..tokking to me..encouraging me to go for the gal i like..it muz have been painful for u..to ask someone u love to go for another gal..i'm realli very sorry but thankful to u at the same time..


perhaps..if the gal i like now can end this crazy dao-ness she's doing to me..and that i can forget abt her..and stop liking and loving her..and that u're still so deeply in love with me..i'll try my best to make myself be in love with u..so that i wun break ur heart..cuz i noe the pain of a broken heart..sorry

why

why am i looking okay when i'm not.


why am i laughing and joking when i juz feel like breaking down right in front of her and cry my heart out.


why wldn't u understand, how much and how deep i've fallen in love with you.


the reason is to love.


i juz want you to be happy, and perhaps make myself happy at the same time.


but doesn't seem to be the case.


perhaps, giving up is the only way out.


or perhaps, i shld juz tell u.


afterall, there's nothing for me to lose.


there was nothing at the beginning.


so even if you reject, i'll not lose anithing.


or perhaps, it's becuz my heart's alr with you, so i have actualli lost something, without noeing it.


is this love wrong?


like how i tot it wld be back then.


shld i have fallen for you.


and push myself deep down there.


fallen reason.


the reason is in love with L.


get it?


sometimes i juz feel like shouting it out.


HEY! I LOVE YOU, __________


but i juz can't seem to be able to shout out that name.


cuz i'm afraid, if i realli said that, i wld lose even a frenship.


but now.


that u're dao-ing me.


do i even have a frenship to lose?


1 mth le.


u've said nothing to me.


and it was all me doing the tokking.


with u not replying.


i'm broken.


i'm fallen.


it's cracked.


my heart.

wadeva and ever

wadeva it is..i dun care..


live my life my way..live till the end comes


is the end coming?6thJune2006..triple 6..once a millenium..lol..better do things that i wanted to do but nver done yet by then..otherwise..wad if i nvr have a chance to do it..


i'll tell u i love u..juz a matter of time..i dun care wad happens after that..u can continue to dao me..i oso dun care..as long as i've said it out..and u've heard it..it's juz ur decision to accept or to reject..and i'll juz gladly accept the consequences..since the start..i shld have known it..taht i wld have to face rejection..as in there's a possibility of that..b4 i'm prepared for anithing..i'll juz wait..till then..take care and study hard for ur bt2 ya..once again..i'll give u all my luck like wad i did during bt1..u need it more than i do..cuz my results dun matter to me..no matter how good i get..i wun be happy..so mite as well let u have it..i'll spend all of my wishes for u..if there's realli something called a wish..yea..there are wishes..the question is..will they be fulfilled?

wtf

tsk..wad is fun..bball..it's okay..

nuthing is fun..mugging?okay la..dun c the use of mugging..u mugging..end up u overload ur brain capacity and u'll juz forget evrything..

status currently : okay

juz that..i still dun understand..some things juz hafta be clarified..but dunno if i wait till hols..whether it'll be too late..haiz..

anyways..rugby won..soccer lost..and our holiday?most prob gone..

hmmmz

wad to say..no effort put in so the marks i got was rather ok ba..kinda expected..tsk..


well..set a number of things that i muz finish up my today..but can't seem to finish up that physics tutorial..tsk..but nvm..tml go sch then do..not in a hurry aniwaes..since the tcher go thru so slow..can take my own sweet time to do..well..that's for the tutorial tcher..as for the lecturer..mr roland lee..i muz say he's real good at teaching manz..he tries to explain evry concept..till the point that we can truly understand it..and he does it efficiently..not like some other tchers..tsk tsk..


bad of me to say these kinda things..but it's true ya..can ask alot of ppl..not evryone wld like a tcher's teaching style ya..tsk tsk..


shld i write a song?nahh..haha..if i write a song now..most prob gonna be abt my sad life again..tsk tsk..that happy song i wanted to write abt her..can't seem to write it..the tune is happy..but if i realli go write the lyrics in my current state now..it'll juz turn out to be a sad song with happy tune..lol..or a happy song with a sad lyrics..lol..


couple of nice songs i've heard lately..one is bu4 de2 bu4 ai4..another one is superwoman..superwoman is realli very nice..listen to tat..omigod..so high..lol..tsk tsk..ppl who can sing very very high notes are good singers i wld say..at least his vocal range is quite wide..lol..like jay chou, show luo and liu geng hong..nice singers..yea..haha..but jay still is the best..coz his combi with fang wen shan is undefeatable..altho jay only got 2 nominations this yr for the award..think is taiwan de ba..but nvm..we all noe he's still the bez..lan2 se4 feng1 bao4 got in for music..while fa ru xue got in for lyrics..lan2 se4 feng1 bao4 the song act quite nice after u've listened to it alot of times..but i still think the best in this album was feng..tsk tsk..and bez music for jay's songs..hmmmz..strange one..but it's huo yuan jia..u go listen to the background music..it's real nice..the front part got drums..and almost thruout the whole song u can hear the dizi..plus the opera singing..tsk tsk..realli creative..lol

wadeva

wadeva..nothing is meaningful in life..when u realise..u have no where to go..not wanting to stay outside..not wanting to go home..no where to go..wad's wrong..meaningless..


carry on with this?i dunno..i dun gif a farking damn to my life animore..let it fail on..since it was made to fail..i dun c successes in my life..dun gif me the farking crap and say..hey..u have good grades ma..one thing that i was nvr happy in my life was my grades..this society..where grades juz matter so much to evryone..especially ur parents..and wad are my grades like..like shit i wld say..so wad if i'm a ten-pointer..and sounding better..a 6-pointer..but so?to me it's still shit..i dun like it..is this wad i get when i do my best?or perhaps i didn't do my best?but who cares..no one cares whether u've done ur best or wad..wad matters most is ur grades..as long as u have good farking grades..u can get wadeva u want..u can play no matter how long u wanna play..no one cares..so long as u have good grades..u can get any stupid farking job and no one cares whether u're good or evil by nature..so long as u have good cert..but wtf..like i gif a damn..


i'm juz a farking stoopid boy..who's pessimistic abt the future..esp my future..a life where there's no hope..hopeless..one day evryone will juz realise how i feel..or perhaps..not evryone..those that are lucky wun feel it..this is wad u get..when u from hopeful..drop to disappointment..dropped to hopeless..that is..in chinese han yu pin yin..xi1 wang4 dao4 shi1 wang4 dao4 jue2 wang4..


when u've lost something that u deemed impt in ur life..even if it's not realli that impt in ur life..u'll nvr noe whether it is..cuz u've alr lost it..and u have nothing to judge it's importance..wad if it's the most impt thing in ur life..yet..it's gone..no one noes..so mite as well think pessimistic..be sad..so that u wun be disappointed..no hopes..no disappointment..


well..not that i dun wanna be hopeful..ppl told be to look at the bright side..hey..is there a torch light or something?there is no "bright" side on this path that i'm taking..this path of darkness..perhaps there's light somewhere?juz that it's far away..but heckx..who wants to think abt the future..future will nvr come if u die now..so wad's the future..it's nothing..


life is but a spiral of events


a man's lifetime is 50 years. looking past it, everything is just but a dream. -Nobunaga Oda-


well..dunno whether that's realli wad he meant in english..but i juz directly translated it to english..lol..


life is a dream..but dreams are not real..so life is not real?


tell me..wad to do..i keep on drming abt u..when wld it stop..this is more than a stupid crush or infactuation le..it's more than like..closer to love than to like..but it's juz a one-sided love..to a point of no return..once i say it out..i guess we can't even be frenz..given the situation in which we are in now..all thanks to u..dao-ing me for 4 wks (till monday..if u still dao me..)..for no particular reason..i dunno y..but u juz decided to not tok to me?well..at least..u said a yep..but wad was that man?3 wks didn't tok and on msn u juz gave me a yep..k fine..if u're realli that bz..juz say so..i juz dun understand..y i am so devoted to a thing that i dun c any hope in..i noe my efforts wldn't pay off..but i'm still doing alot of things for u..behind u..caring for u without u noticing..u'll nvr noe..u'll nvr understand..


happiness is but a contrast of sadness..yet..when evrything feels sad..there is no happiness..-fallen reason-

my story

tsk..looking back on my life..realised it's a failure..


from the start till now..i still think i've done nothing wrong to make my life go this way..it didn't fail becuz of wad i did..it failed becuz of wad others did to it..


p4..tot i cld be a prefect..thanks to the form tcher who promised to make me..that was the firz time my trust got betrayed..i didn't become one..promises broken..and i began to hate sch..even tchers can lie to students eh?sickening..


nvm..i got on with it..and went to rv..evrything went on well in sec1..havin fun with frens..juz that havin prob coping with studies..cuz new topics ma..sec2..where it all began..the pain..who would have guessed..i was juz liking someone..it's normal of a human to think that way..well..was lucky..got together..for like 9 months..evrything went on smoothly..till 3 days b4 vday in sec3..she said she want to be frens only..needing more time to study..needing more time for her leadership position..she feels stressed..so i said ok..and she said..we can still be together after we're done with studying..k..i believed..and we even promised each other we'll get to hc together..and so..we continued..even as frens only..but the treatment i gave to her..was still more than frenz..and she was fine with it..so it carried on..till sec4 vday..she told me she dun like the way things are..and actualli told me she didn't say anithing abt being together with me animore..wad can i say..heartbroken..yea..broken..the 3 yrs..all broken..broken promises..broken heart..wadeva..f off..i told the world..f off world..


of cuz..it didn't realli appear on my face..my sadness..acted as if i was fine..when the pain is still there..then came the light in my darkness..her smile..she always looked happy..and nvr once seemed sad to me..yea..u're rite..it's 6thMarch..she brightened up my day on cultural nite day2..she was so happy that nite..i oso dunno y..hyper gal..and i became enthu as well..laughing and tokking..as we took the bus back to sch..still remembered eugene sitting nxt to me..while she was on the opposite side..as in..u noe..eugene sitting inside..me outside..then to the left of me..it's her..with her cello..then eugene and i sang boyfriend..lol..so farni..but to think that she said it was nice..yea..was happy abt it la..then exchanged phone numbers on the bus oso..then went back to sch..while putting back the instru..she was waiting for another fren..then she kept on saying bye to me..haha..so fun..and i bye-ed back..and there we go..evrytime i pass by co room.she wld be standing there still waiting..then keep on bye-ing..cute yea..realli brightened up my nite..then realli bye le..but stil msged her while going home..realli..the way she tok..realli..will make me happy..and so..we became pa and nv-er lo..and so..evrytime after co..wld play bball together..of cuz got others la..fun..happy..and so..after one month..6thMarch..i told her..and yea..she accepted..that was the happiest day i wld say..of my life..cuz the way she accepted..so sweet..lol..i wun say it her..keep swt things to myself..=b..


evrything went on well..till one day..she asked me the same qsn the previous one asked me as well..that she wanted to concentrate on her studies firz..so mebbe juz be more than frens firz..after that..still can be together..and i thot..mebbe she wun be like last one..so i said ok..at least..she still behaved like more than frenz for a week or 2..but on 12thApril..she asked this qsn to me.."can we juz be frens"..wad can i say..can i say no?i realli dunno wad to say..so i said yes..but y..she didn't give a good explaination tho..till now..i still dun understand y..and so..i still think i've done nothing wrong..


and so..i heckx le..carried on with studies..with ppl i liked in between..but still..studies firz..and now..wad is this..even b4 i've told her..i alr sad le..if those b4 told me that it wasn't love..then i suppose love shld be selfish instead of being wei3 da4..this time round..i dun think i can tell her that i wldn't mind her being with others..as long as she's happy..no i can't..yea..if she's happy..i wld be happy for her..yet sad for myself..but i juz dunno wad to do..shld love be selfish?i juz dun wanna feel sad animore..that's y i keep procrastinating..not wanting to tell her..finding excuses for myself not to tell her..cuz i dun wanna be sad..i noe..it's 50:50..means there's an equal chance of being happy or sad..if it's happy..i wldn't mind..but i seriously dunno wad i wld do..if it's sad again..wad wld i do?mebbe i'll mug till i become siao4..and get some freaking great results for a's yet being sad of my life..


broken promises can make a life fail..

amazing race

grrr..amazing race..still thinking hard..lol


hiakX..lonely as it may seems..but that's wad happiness is abt..at least to me..for now..loneliness is equated to happiness..perhaps..if given a chance to free me from this loneliness..i wld be alot happier..but..will she be the one to free me from this..i dunno


explain to me..y?am i feeling liddat..neutral..neither happy nor sad..not happy cuz i have nuthing..not sad cuz i have lost nothing..wad is this..


will i be happy?


perhaps ps3 will make me happy..but it's still a long way..6 months..nov..that's in us tho..dunno abt singapore..hopefully around there ba..later go ns le..buy le oso no use..but hopefully b4 ns ba..then during ns..buy a hdtv..lol..then enjoy ff13..lol..will they lemme enjoy ff7 on ps3?not the ps1 ver la..but hopefully a remake..but from the statistics so far..seems that there wun be a remake..our dear maker of ff7 seems to have other plans..but..hopefully related to ff7 la..perhaps make an ff7 ac sequel?altho dc is a sequel to ff7 events and discloses many unknown secrets..but hey..we want more story and more of cloud and yea..sephiroth..tsk..


will that happen?lol


will u be with me?i doubt so..if u're not dao-ing me then wad are u doing..

dreams are not over yet

dunno y..but the dreams are not over yet..i of cuz dun want them to be over yet..it makes my slp worth it..tsk..but..if my dreams juz carry on liddat..it juz means that i shldn't give up yet..which i dun intend to..till i tell her ba..but the prob is howta tell when she dao..argh..dunno..


somehow my dreams are linking up to real life..things that happen in my life seem to remind me of dreams i had b4..of cuz not those abt her..but abt other things..juz dunno y..the linkage..omigod..hah

tsk

lol..got myself a pair of wristbands..brasil colours..cool..yellow and green..nice~


tsk..dunno leh..wad's happening..wad am i waiting for..y i kip on looking at my hp when i noe..there wld not be any reply ba..haiz..altho i didn't bother to msg her..no reply..msg for wad..perhaps..i shld do more than juz a simple msg ba..dunno..not now yet..still have a long way..at least wait till i wun c her that often animore ba..then perhaps wun be that paiseh..haiz..


wad's wrong boy..bball..seems so nice..it's a very tempting thing..hear the ball..pick up my t-shirt..CHIONG arh..tsk..not that exaggerating ba..but realli..it's like coke..the more u drink..the more u like it..the more u play..the more i like it..the more i c her smile..the more i like her smile..


but that's not the reason y i like her..like needs no reason..i can like her smile..but i mite not necessary like her..so there's certainly more to it..and i noe..i dun like her juz becuz i like her smile..her smile mite be a subset of the reasons..but there's certainly more to it..


tsk

noe my limits

noe my limits..wad are they..limits is nothing in my life..i have no limits..i tell myself..


but..somehow..u noe..there are limits in ur life..far or near..but there's always a limit break ya..ff7..lol..


wad are my limits..hmmmz..so far..i think there are no limits for me yet..i'm still not flying high enuff ba..that's y i can't c my limits..juz chiong man..one day..when i c my limits..i wld haf known that i have done my best..


limits..there are..juz that i can't c them yet..means i have the potential..can u c ur limits?haha

haiz

hmmm..another post with the title haiz..haha


eh..dunno leh..dunno if i'm happy or wad..juz making assumptions here and there..if i'm correct then i wld be happy ba..if i'm wrong..then too bad lor..


some things..i've seen thru them..shall put them behind..and move on..no means no..it's not gonna affect how i progress in life..somemore now..the answer is still indefinte yet..cuz i haven ask..it can be a yes or a no..50:50 i wld say..yes/no ma..assuming that it's an unbiased thing..but sure..there is biasness in it..but assumptions shld set in as i do not noe abt the biasness..lol


too much probability kills..


one thing i'm sad tho..get full marks le wad u want..i tried my best and i did it..yet..no praise no wadeva..they nvr seem enuff to my family..full marks le..still want more?but that's the most i can give..i did my best le..and i shall continue to do so..chiong arhhhhhhhhhhhh...bt2..i wanna own it..haha..and nxt wk fma test..hopefully can win zhiwei..not striving to win tzeleong..impossible ba..fmb mebbe ba..cuz i did it twice le..but nvr in bt1..haha..he's immortal!!!


aiya..heckx..for now i shall play..june got 3 wks to study..but physics test on mon..haiz..hmmmz..wad if it's a holiday?tsk tsk..*prays hard*..lol

wad am i thinking

wad am i thinking..wad am i doing..i realli dunno..send her a msg juz to push myself further down..cuz i noe there wldn't be any reply..wad can i do..


bu4 xiang3 zuo4 bu3 tong1 peng2 you3..realli..


haiz..wad is this..dilema..i dunno wad to do..wad to say..how to say..how to start with all the dao-ing and stuff..


her smile keeps me going..but how long can it last..somemore the smile is not at me..it's for evryone to c..i juz happened to catch it that's all..my sorrow..my sadness..my pain..ur smile

...

arggggghhhh..wadeva..


i realli dunno


was she diao-ing me with that look..dao look


wad's with those eyes..


i was stunned..


saddened..


disappointed..


and once again..no reply..realli..she's now sending me to hell..slowly..a reply wld definitely send me back to heaven..or perhaps it'll kick me straight down to hell's lvl18..or perhaps beyond lvl18..open up new lvls juz to accomodate me..lvl100..lol

disappointed

wad can i say..disappointed?i realli have nothing to say..dunno..


confusion..i dun even noe wad's happening..dao arh..haiz..dunno..