MM Lee

I respect him. For loving his wife so much. I envy him, for having someone whom he can give her his everything. And yeah, the kind of love, makes me jealous, makes me sad. Love from family, love from someone close, I'm beginning to lose that? Seems like i'm losing touch from all these.

I'm beginning to lose belief in this world. I always thought it was something that's worth the effort to make it into a better place. But seeing how ppl go around hurting each other, its not worth it anymore. Especially after how I feel so hurt after so many things have happened.

I think, its not worth my time to think so much for others already. I shld start thinking more for myself. Why bother about making other ppl happy, when ppl dun even care about what you do for them. =/

Seeing MM Lee's eulogy, kinda reminded me of grandma. =/ Whenever I remember her, i'll remember all the sad things, how when I went back to see her, she can't really remember who I was, meaning, the last time she "saw" me was 2 years b4 she passed away. It makes me want to spend more time with my family. But, sometimes, you just wonder, are u really that important to your family? There are alot of things that they don't do for me. And I made it something that I got used to, when really, perhaps, I shldn't have gotten used to these? Cuz I never placed myself in the first place when handling relationships with my family/friends, alot of things I just went along with the flow. But really, i'm just compromising my own happiness.

22 years, if I never asked for it last year, it probably wldn't have happened at all. But still, there are things i'm thankful for. But there are things just make me less happy.

Its perfect 10 day today, but its probably not gonna be perfect for me. I don't see my life with a perfect day in it. Somehow, there'll always be things that spoil my day. When I was together with ex, well, there were happy times spent together, but surely, there're things that spoil my mood, not a single day do I remember of perfection. Not a single day. Perfection is too much to ask for, perhaps, but just please, give me one day of non-sadness?