Looking back, alot of things have happened. All because of one thing that you didn't say, we ended up like this. Could have been better, no? We could have stayed as really good friends. We could still be together. I didn't choose this path, you did. You chose it for us. Why did you have to blame me in the end for whatever that has happened to your life whenever you quarrel with your bf? Its got nothing to do with me. Absolutely not. So why? What wrong is there in me, when I told you to stop bothering me whenever you feel down cuz of your bf. You saw it coming, didn't you? You wanted the best of both worlds. You wanted my care even after breaking up. I gladly obliged for 2 years, but no. I've had enough.
Of course, I'm actually a bit glad for all these. At least I'm not bothered by you anymore. But how we look at each other now, its as if all those happy memories we ever had were just things of fiction. As if they never happened. Why can't lovers break up and be friends? For 2 years, we thought we could do it, but you had to step over the boundary. You had to do it.
Very often I lay on my bed at night thinking of those nights when we used to spend it together, watching tv, and just spending quality time together. That, was until you left me disillusioned with whoever you are. You changed, and you don't matter to me that much anymore.
Even till now, if you say you still want to be friends, I have no qualms about it. Just that, if you ever think of stepping over the boundary again, I would have to say, no way. No chance in hell, will I let you ruin my life again. Ever.
Penultimately, I just want my life to be a better one, better than what it is now. Better than what I had hoped for when I was together with you. Now that I've set my heart on someone else, you are just a thing in the past. Someone whom I want to give her my all. Someone, who makes me smile when I see her smile.
Ever wondered what it means to be able to do something that you wanted to do your whole life? Somehow, I just think that this is it. This is something that I wanna do for her. I want to give my all.
Having said that, alot of things are still tying me down to earth. This earth which I look down on, which I despise. How do I say this? I mean, all the people around, are just...hai. Don't wanna say it. But yeah, is this world really worth saving? Or should it just be doomed.
Hmmm, actually, the point of this post, I seriously don't see it anymore. Suddenly lost interest in writing, but i'll continue soon. I hope, when more thoughts flow into my mind.
Up and down again. I shall continue from where I left off. The more I think about it, the more i'm pissed. Perhaps, I shouldn't even think about it, but yeah, I doubt it will never get out of my mind? Something that will bug me for life. When you lose something significant, its never the same again, and the scar will stay. Stop telling me to forgive and forget. When you've never been through it, you can say that easily. Forgive, I did. Forget, I tried. Remember, you made me.
Is it wrong to hope for the best? Is it wrong to fall in love with someone? If its not wrong, then why is everything and everyone making it so hard for my life to go on like I want it to be? Avoiding her, just so that people won't start talking about it. Ended up in this kind of friendship? Not something I hoped for. I could only look at her from afar, happy that she's happy. Why does it always have to turn out this way. Why?
Reason. That's what many people call me by. I don't even have a reason to live on. Or do I? I'm just moving on, pressing on. With what purpose? Life's a bitch we have to live with as long as we are alive. Girl, you made me fall in love with you, but still, is it something that I can live without? I'm not sure anymore.
Usually, I would end off with some quote, some song, or just plain random rant. But whatever, this will be the end of this post. And there's actually a hidden code in it. =/
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