was not

This wasn't a break I really needed.

Literally spent the whole day doing nothing. Slept till 11am, played thru the afternoon, slept till evening, dinner, watched tv and manga-ed until now.

What a waste.

And this void of knowledge flowing in and lack of stress once again allowed emo-ness to flow in.

I'm getting more and more confused, by wad I know, and what I shouldn't know.

Everything, everyone, is just leaving me in shambles.

Pieces, that I do not which to be broken down into.

I feel weak.
Maybe becuz I didn't study today.
Maybe becuz I haven't been gyming since monday.
Maybe becuz I have only ran 9km for the entire week despite wanting to clock at least 20.

No, I'm just weak, not becuz of all that above, but becuz of who I am.
My experiences made me weak.
Vulnerable to emotions, too vulnerable for my liking.

But seriously, what's there to feel emotional about?
I really do not know.
Is it becuz of the fact that I feel lost?
Is it becuz of how much I want to talk with you, yet I'm afraid whatever I ask would make you angry?

It is becuz I care too much about how you would feel, that I fail to satisfy my own wants and needs.
I do not think for myself when it comes to you.
I feel like I'm a complete opposite of you.

You only think about yourself.
You don't care about what others are doing nor how they look at you.
You don't care about my feelings.

I only think about you.
I care about what others are doing and how they look at me.
I care about your feelings.

We are 2 different people.
Very different people.
But all I want is to understand you better.
I have questions I want to ask.
I need you to talk.
I want communication between us.
I want to know you better.
I want to love you with all I have.

I like you alot, so much so that if I don't drown myself in studies, all I can think about is you.

Your name, its short and sweet, just like who you are, and how you speak.