what to do?

I thought I wouldn't be that depressed by work. But it just suddenly dawned on me the imbalance i've been placing around my modules. So much effort has been put on computing that i've been neglecting my other subjects too much. Concepts are just not enough, I need the practice. But is my 1 tutorial per day gonna work? I'm not sure, only time will tell. Or rather, its a do or die situation. I dunno whether this study method would work, I hope it will. If not, I really needta change my mindset for nxt sem.

It might also be due to the fact that I don't have a good environment to study at home. There's no proper table to do my work. Which is one reason I dun like to do tutorials at home, and spend most of my time reading notes, grasping concepts from the stuff on my laptop. The only thing that i can practice is programming. Maybe by moving house will let me have a better environment to study? That's the reason why i can't wait to move. End of the day, moving to the new house turned out to be faster than waiting for my sis to completely vacate the room in this current house so that I can have a room to myself. If we didn't move house, I would probably have considered moving to hall/residence instead.

Somehow, I decided not to pressure my sis into moving out. She was like taking up the whole room for 1 whole year alr, when she has her own house to live in. She just has to come back to niang jia to take up a room. Not that i'm complaining, i mean, i dunno la. I know my sis will be lonely if she lives in her house, when her husband works in the night while she works in the morning, so I always only say I hope she moves out, but in actual fact, it doesn't really matter. Putting my sis b4 my own preferences eh? I dunno, she's my sis leh, how can just dun care and ask her to move out. That's y i oso worried about how she's gonna slp at night when we move to clementi and she has to stay by herself. O wells, sometimes, i should just learn how to worry more for myself than other ppl's problems.

I care too much, past experiences have been sufficient to show the fact that i care too much for others only to be hurt in the end. I do not wanna talk about these past expiriences. Just not worth talking about. Lesson learnt? When u care too much, you'll easily get hurt. But how do I not care too much, when it is my nature to care for ppl i trust.

There are only a few ppl who i trust now. And I know where my heart is. I care, therefore I dare.

When my heart breaks, who will be there to pick up the pieces? Who will be there to put salt on my wounds, to make my heart hurt even more than it could haf endured?

There you go, I suppose, I really need some rest from this monotonous lifestyle. Seriously, i can't wait for exams to be over. Then take a break, cuz i seriously need it. Spend time with close frens, invite ppl over to my new house when exams are over for a small little housewarming. Ok, I shouldn't be thinking so far ahead. But its always good to have something to look forward to.

I guess that's all I'll talk about for now, so many stuff to say, yet, the only one i can say to, is this blog. If i turn this into a private blog, i might be able to say even more stuff. There are just some things that can't be said to anyone. Or, at least, so far, no one has been able to make me tell him/her that much.

Ya, i need a break.