450

450th blog post, not counting those on my private one.

I'm feeling damn sian today. Partially due to my own incompetence. Haven't done anything productive after reaching home. Salt was ok, typical assassin story, would probably be good if it was made into a game? But, hai. Why am I feeling like this? Got this sense that things will turn bad from now on?

Its just the feeling that somehow, somewhat, argh, i dun even know how to begin to describe this feeling.

I just wanna slp and wake up to see that everything is actually ok, but no matter how optimistic i force myself to be, i know, its probably not gonna be alright. Every thing i observe, everything i see with my own eyes, everything i'm feeling from you, just points to the fact that its probably not going to go the way I want it?

The first step was probably wrong already, I tried too hard.

Only to realise in the end that, yes, i've fallen into a shithole i dug for myself once again.

I should get myself out of this asap, before I fall anymore further.

Hai, once again i'm back to where I was.