up and down

when emotions go up and down like a roller coaster ride.

Its not the first time already, in a way, i've gotten used to how my emotions take over me at the least appropriate time. I find myself retreating into a corner, saying "nvm" and "forget it". This world, and its useless promises.

What attributes to the sadness? I seriously have no idea. Perhaps the difference between reality and dreams? How the occasional sweet dream makes you want to escape from reality into that dream world, waking up but wanting to fall aslp so that you can see that ending of the dream. Only to realise, that the ending is in stark contrast to the reality you're living in.

Stark, a word i seldom use.

The many words popping up in my head, the many words that i normally put into the songs i write. Your name, hidden in memory. Working on a new song, called 我爱噢噢. Perhaps a bit inspired by wu yue tian's wang ci. Cuz he went 我噢噢噢, then i thought of maybe putting 我爱噢噢 would be a nice name for a song. Dunno how it will turn out though.

Maybe I should start writing more songs in english, afterall this sem i'm gonna take eg1413. But, I know how badly my english songs have turned out. Lyrics that fail to rhyme, tunes that fail to register themselves in my mind.

I feel a need to tell you, how I feel, what I really want. Yet, I'm holding myself back, in a way, I dun wanna lose this frenship that's slowly building itself up. On the other hand, I'm afraid if this friendship continues to build up, it might come to the point that I would be too afraid to tell you how I feel. This kind of feeling, this kind of love, this kind of liking someone. Sometimes, its the best part of falling in love, but when reality strikes, we're normally left with nothing. Lets just hope that you and I, would be different.

我爱噢噢.