Why should I care?

So, why should I care? I don't know. Seems that the past me was an easier person to be, less expectations, less tiring. The hate the world attitude, it was just so easy. Not needing to care about what others think, not thinking about anything else except for yourself. That period of time when I had that attitude was kinda the best situation I ever had in my whole life. Just me, myself, and the world for me to run in. So carefree. I can go for a run, without thinking about anything else, not thinking about what others think. I can take my time, do everything by my own pace.

Being helpful just made me more tired. Yes, helping others, seeing ppl showing their appreciation, kinda soothes the heart. But at the end of the day, if I just didn't care, nothing would happen at all, my overall mood will not be very much affected. Being kind does not necessary pay.

The point is, not caring is much better for a person like me. I don't think I'm the kind to care. Prove me wrong, maybe I look like the kind who would care for others. I just do not know what's right or wrong anymore.

I'm just tired of being nice and all. I just wanna do the things I like with ppl that i like. With friends that can truly understand. But no one really cares. Every single human being is the same, living in their own world, taking in whatever benefits, and rejecting whatever harms. My difference, i give benefits, and take in whatever that harms. Hurting myself over and over again. I do expect returns, but i'm fine without it. I'm used to giving without return. Sounds like self-sacrifice, whatever.

Maybe i'm just tired from school work. Maybe I need a deserved break.

I still dunno wad's that lump on my neck. Hopefully like the polyclinic doc, its just a abnormal growth that's not life-threatening. But who knows if it's not a cancer tumour or something. Well, I guess i'll find out on 22ndSept when i go to NUH for checkup. I do not hate life, so i'm hoping that it's nothing. But, just a random question. If I die, would anyone care? (feel free to answer this qsn in my tagbox)

my answer is, the world will still move on, with or without me. You might care for a moment, but give it a good 1 to 2 years or so, only my family will remember me. That is what life is about, just a cycle of birth, ageing, death.

All these negative stuff piling up, nothing really happy happening in my life. EXCEPT, for one thing.

i've completed extra exercise. eh? nah, i'm just a mugger, and that's not something to be happy about.