22 liao, and growing old

Yeah, as the title suggest, going to be 23 come this year's 7th October. Can't really believe what I've been through this past 22 years, really, everything seemed to happen in a flash. Everything shaping what I am today. Come this May 2, I would have finished my 2nd year of Uni life and looking forward to the second half which is gonna be hell of a hectic lifestyle. Luckily, there's an SEP break in between, hopefully can go out there and enjoy myself before coming back to end it with a bang, ala FYP.

This sem, can't seem to really enjoy what I love doing. Couldn't find time for my runs, at all. Maybe I'm just giving myself excuses not to work out, plus there's no motivation to run this year since I have not signed up any as of now. In 2 months there's gonna be a 10km, but seems like I'm gonna miss the early bird. Missing early birds are just excuses for me to not start training. Haha. Can't believe how much of a slacker I have become ever since stand chart ended. So much for wanting to stay fit. O well, I guess the last motivation I ever needed was the bloody ICT IPPT. Have to pass it this time round so that I wouldn't have to worry about RT again like I did this year. Really, not going to RT, and not having to bother about it will save up lotsa time and energy.

Well, there are other things I would have loved to do this sem, but nothing's going my way. How I wanted things to be. No, I've almost given up on doing anything for her. I just don't think its worth my time? Everything points to a one-sided relationship. What was I even thinking in the first place. She has broken my heart once before, what actually made me think she wouldn't do it again. How can I trust your words anymore? I really don't know. That's why, I told myself, yeah, fuck it, if you really need me to be there for you, you'll come look for me. It shouldn't be me constantly looking out for you and seeing whether you need me, at all.

I really dunno man. Any plans of anything happening during v-day? Nah. Gonna add one more year to that count of number of years spent alone for v-day. And ya, its fucking 21 despite having had relationships. Fuck me, the first one that I thought I would spend, she had a freaking project to do. The year after, became "friends" one week before that. The next year, freaking broke up with me on v-day thru email. Well, after that, just kept quarreling whenever it was near v-day so end up, I've been spending this stupid day at home for the past 21 years, so its not like another year will make a difference yeah? Maybe staying single is not that bad after all?