Drinks and Emos

Took out the wine in the fridge, started drinking, from the bottle. While drinking, went youtube, started listening to all those emo songs that I can relate to so well now. 我们怎么了by S.H.E is so related to what I'm going through now. Having no idea what's going on, trying to believe that everything will be fine. I don't even know what's going on in my mind. I tried talking to people, and their answer for me was the same as the initial answer I had in my mind, that I was just thinking too much. And I tried convincing myself its nothing, its normal for you to do these kind of things. But, its really kinda getting on my nerves? It feels as though, I'm just being made use by you. I'm only your friend when I'm of use to you, other times, I'm just a nobody, someone's who's not even worth your time talking to, or simply showing some courtesy by replying? No. I somehow managed to convince myself that its alright, nothing's really wrong, I just needta carry on believing. Yeah? But my dear sixth sense just keeps on reminding me about how accurate I always am when it comes to such stuff. That i'm always able to grasp the situation correctly, especially when things are going downhill.

I don't know, I wanted to ask you what's going on. But, somehow, i'm afraid to even start asking. Why am I being afraid to love?