its in

What's in? My emotions.

They're kinda taking over me now. Having realised so many things that I've missed out on, things that I've not done for her.

Looking back, I realised, all these started way before last May. It was during mid April I think, that such feelings came in. I didn't want to confirm them yet, cuz I thought it would be best to stay as good friends, cuz I really enjoyed the friendship. Then I wanted more, I wanted to be more than that. All these feelings felt natural, as long as I was with her. Doing these and that together, I thought to myself, "This is it, I won't back away from you anymore, I just want to hold you tight."

Then came hols, I thought, oh yeah, finally can spend more time with you? But that was not to be. Perhaps, I dragged too long, perhaps u think my heart is not with you. You kinda disappeared from my life, and so, i buried those feelings. For 6 months, I chose to stay away from you, I was scared the feelings will come come back. SO after 6 months, I thought maybe, I've finally forgotten about you, that when I open the lid and get close to you again, those feelings won't come flooding back again. I was wrong, absolutely wrong, the moment I let you into my life again, the moment I decided to open up to you again, all those came flooding back. My feelings for you. Things that matter so much to me. You, that mattered to much to me. Not that I regret it, I don't regret letting these feelings come back to me at all. I just hope you just don't disappear from my life again like you did back then. This time, I won't hesitate, I really want you here, to be with me everyday.

No more why's and why-not's, its just what I feel for you. I won't walk away again, no matter what. So please, just listen to what I have to say.