I do not need this

I've always thought that if you know someone well enough to conclude that he/she won't turn up for something, there is no need to ask. Guess I was wrong? Well, I did ask in the end, at least I bothered to, but I guess I didn't need the reaction. Compounded my misery for the week.

Everything was going really well today, slept the whole afternoon away, went out for dinner with family, and well, managed to put some bad stuff aside for the moment while I was out with my family. The bad stuff, I've really just decided not to do anything about it as of now, really want to see what's really happening before I do anything. Don't want to spoil anything at the moment. Though I don't see anything coming out of it, but o well, some things just need to be resolved.

Seriously, people change, and there's not a thing you can do about it. Life, sucks.

Alright, maybe i'm not being friendly enough by thinking that you won't go. But isn't it a bit harsh to say I never bothered to ask you? I did ask in the end, didn't I? And well, never mind, Shall not add on to my misery anymore. Not worth it.

For now, I shall enjoy this luck as long as it lasts. I just love it, when my gambling abilities peak whenever I'm not having any luck when it comes to love. Being a little sarcastic here, but what's wrong with enjoying your winnings when its really the only thing that can make me happy now, with the one I really care for not giving a damn about me at all. Doesn't help at all, you know? You made me fall in love with you, you made me want to care about you, but you pushed me away once I showed you how much I'm willing to care for you. What is this? Tell me. What's your problem? Or is it my problem? My fault for loving you? Why? I would rather lose this 1.5k I earned tonight than lose you, seriously. How much you mean to me, is more than that 1.5k. To me, you're priceless. You're above everything else on this earth. How much I wish to treasure the time we spend together, but only to realize that we're not spending as much time together as I would have liked to. It seems just a few weeks ago that you told me how you want to study together and stuff (which is really, just a few weeks ago). Only for you to disappear from my life completely. What's wrong? What's wrong with us?

Maybe I should just leave this quietly. Really, the pain has numbed me so much that I don't really feel it anymore. Just taking it as it comes. They don't come in waves, they never settle down. I've already been overwhelmed, so much so that, it does not hurt anymore.