How I met your mother

Aww yeah! my favourite show is back, and I've got 3 episodes of it to catch up on. All before my last mid-term paper on thursday. Guess I'm just gonna procrastinate it till last minute studying on wed night.

Haha, loved the first episode. Still as funny as ever, albeit marshall and lily were just a tad lame in this one. What caught my mind the most was the ending part where Klaus explained the two German words, Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz and Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand.

So what do these two words mean? Well, the first means the one, while the second one means the thing that is almost the thing that you want, but not quite. 

And nope, sadly, Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz has not appeared in my life. Well, even if she did, I would probably have missed it cuz I've not been thinking of that, for a long long time. Well, as for beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand, its been hits and misses here and there.

Maybe its cuz of this mentality, that I don't even bother thinking whether there's feelings whatsoever. The mentality of not wanting to be in a relationship, the mentality of not wanting to lose a friend, the mentality of "so-what". Slowly over time, it has become a mentality of not caring what happens. And now, I don't even know what I want anymore with regards to relationships. Well, well, that was confusing, and it even confuses me too.

But I really can't be bothered now. =/ Life's just giving me too much things to handle. Maybe that's why I chose the easy way, to wait for somebody to fall in love with me rather than me going after someone. Heh, if that's the case, I can see myself talking to my adopted kids, telling them "How I never met your mother".

There was this weird dream the other day where I dreamt of myself being tgt with someone, and I actually know that person. But as the situation is now, it is better that I don't even think about it. =/

The dilemma, of not wanting to be in a relationship vs needing someone there to talk to when you need it. Hmmm, well well. I guess it overlaps? The needing someone to talk to, somehow, it will make the other party feel like I want to get into a relationship, but what all I wanted was someone to talk to. 

I hope life had an easy way out, but there's never an easy way out. All the choices are tough, and the way I am now, I'm just leaving the problems to the future me. =/